Dumbass Articles

Celebrity bad decisions, mistakes, and Hollywood stupidity.

A Very Porny Christmas

Lainey Posted by Lainey at December 29, 2010 07:45:34 December 29, 2010 07:45:34

My Porny Jessica Simpson just celebrated her first Christmas with golddigger Eric Johnson. According to her Twitter, they were at her parents’, and she called him the “perfect” addition. Because, even though she runs an almost billion dollar business, she’ll always be the second class citizen in a relationship. Full Story

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She’s not allowed to have friends

Lainey Posted by Lainey at December 28, 2010 10:26:00 December 28, 2010 10:26:00

I’ve been meaning to gather the Best Twi-Hard Hatemail of 2010 for a year-end post but last night my laptop decided to be a bitch and die after I plugged it into the tv. The motherf-cker isn’t even 6 months old. Jacek has been trying to recover my data all night. So I have no access to my inbox, just webmail (accessing only emails over the last 24 hours), and I’m using his laptop which was my previous laptop. Full Story

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Skinny doesn’t cure stupid

Lainey Posted by Lainey at December 28, 2010 08:15:26 December 28, 2010 08:15:26

Kelly Osbourne has spent the last several months telling us how much happier she is now that she’s skinny. Well now there’s a great message. Unfortunately, thinness in this case, and in most cases, doesn’t necessarily lead to enlightenment. And slender Kelly seems to be as stupid as not-slender Kelly, especially as it relates to matters of the heart. Full Story

Jersey Shore > Ashley Greene

Lainey Posted by Lainey at December 23, 2010 09:26:07 December 23, 2010 09:26:07

Best story of the day so far. Who are the two most hard up attention-whore members of the Twilight cast? Definitely Kellan Lutz and Ashley Greene. It’s like they’re trying to Out-Try each other every day. Kellan poses in a tree with a book. Ashley will throw it back in his face by taking off her clothes in a magazine, or dating a Vagina Virgin. Full Story

It was more than just a ride

Lainey Posted by Lainey at December 22, 2010 11:44:53 December 22, 2010 11:44:53

This sh-t started at least 6 weeks ago after Kate Hudson’s birthday party. Click here for a refresher. Amanda Seyfried and Ryan Phillippe were seen leaving together. At the time, though unlikely, for her sake I was hoping it was just a ride. Looks like it was more than just a ride. Full Story

WTF of 2010

Lainey Posted by Lainey at December 21, 2010 12:30:00 December 21, 2010 12:30:00

Written by Duana So there I am in the nail salon, in the middle of a rather intense conversation with Lainey, when I had to stop, even though I was being a terrible friend and all, to point out that a certain gossip rag indicated that Melissa McCarthy and Jenny McCarthy are first cousins. Full Story

You’re a f-cking idiot

Lainey Posted by Lainey at December 21, 2010 09:08:51 December 21, 2010 09:08:51

Living drama-free is obviously not a possibility. Not even in rehab. TMZ is all over it. On December 12, Lilo, as mentioned earlier, returned to the Betty Ford Clinic ten minutes after curfew. She hit up a bar, and when she came home, LATE, one of the staffers gave her sh-t for screwing up, and ordered a drug and alcohol test. Full Story

Teen JLo

Lainey Posted by Lainey at December 15, 2010 11:50:00 December 15, 2010 11:50:00

This is the new poster for the upcoming season of American Idol courtesy of Entertainment Weekly. There’s Seacrest, a buoyant Steven Tyler, Randy Jackson doing jazz hands, and Miley Cyrus. No, actually, that’s Jennifer Lopez. They’ve teened her. Full Story

Alba Bitch recants (check definition)

Lainey Posted by Lainey at December 15, 2010 11:16:52 December 15, 2010 11:16:52

As mentioned the other day, “I don’t need writers” Jessica Alba is currently promoting the new Fockers movie. It didn’t happen on television but apparently she was asked in a round table situation with the press to clarify her comments from that Elle article in which she asstalked about real actors and not sticking with the script. Full Story

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JLH’s Happy Ending

Lainey Posted by Lainey at December 14, 2010 13:05:46 December 14, 2010 13:05:46

They always say, when they get up there, after their name has been called, that they are so honoured to have been nominated with x, y, and z. These days it’s automatic, and in some cases maybe just lip service. But the sentiment, it’s there. To be included among some of the best, especially if Meryl Streep is involved, it should be an incomparable recognition, and it also says something about your own work – that if yours was good enough to stand next to the others, then it must be really, really great. Full Story