Dumbass Articles

Celebrity bad decisions, mistakes, and Hollywood stupidity.

Liz Hurley’s new beef jerky

December 13, 2010 06:35:01 Posted at December 13, 2010 06:35:01
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Lorella and I were in England in August enjoying a little food porn at Selfridges and we laughed for an hour after walking by the snack food section when we saw a stand with pink packages featuring Elizabeth Hurley’s Beef Jerky. Photo is attached. I mean you have to be a certain kind of ghetto to slap your name on Beef Jerky. Full Story

The voice is worse than the bong

December 10, 2010 07:24:34 Posted at December 10, 2010 07:24:34
Lainey Posted by Lainey

It’s the top story this morning: newly 18 Miley Cyrus and a bong. Have you seen the video yet? Yes. The video. It’s here. Click. According to TMZ – somehow they obtained the video so we’re going to go with their substance analysis – Miley is smoking salvia, which is legal. Full Story

Worst of 2010: Kellan Lutz in a tree

December 6, 2010 13:42:00 Posted at December 6, 2010 13:42:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

We continue to recap the year’s best and worst. Back in February, Kellan Lutz wore an all-white outfit, and took the dog for a walk. The paps were around. And he really really wanted to read his book. So he climbed a tree. And was obviously fully engrossed. Photographers took his picture. His fans, the Twi-Hards, who are, as you know, learning impaired, seemed to think this was by accident. Full Story

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Junkie accessories

December 1, 2010 13:15:31 Posted at December 1, 2010 13:15:31
Lainey Posted by Lainey

People love throwing money away. It’s the only explanation. This is Pete Doherty today in London at a photo call to promote his own line of jewellery. Yes. Him. Jewellery. The collection is called Albion Trinketry. He collaborated with jeweller Hannah Martin. The inspiration was old time men and pocket watches and their Sunday best. Full Story

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Porny plays the Doctor Game & Sailor Suits

December 1, 2010 09:15:45 Posted at December 1, 2010 09:15:45
Lainey Posted by Lainey

My Porny Simpson’s engagement was the top story for, oh, maybe 5 minutes. Then Prince William came along and shot her ass off the front page. Swifty and Jakey kept her off too. Now the Brange is dominating the spotlight to sell their new projects... So what does a Porny do? Well, she has to fight for scraps, take whatever she can, talk to whoever will listen. Full Story

Is it 2003?

November 29, 2010 13:17:06 Posted at November 29, 2010 13:17:06
Lainey Posted by Lainey

As you know, Barbara Walters every year releases a list of the 10 Most Fascinating People. The special airs next Thursday on ABC. Naturally they’re cockteasing everyone until the big reveal, releasing several names but, obviously, holding back the big one. So far we know 8 of the 10. They are as follows: Sandra Bullock –Oscar, infidelity, secret adoption, philanthropy, popularity, done. Full Story

Pippy’s Oscar bargains

November 29, 2010 07:12:42 Posted at November 29, 2010 07:12:42
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Hilarious article on Page Six yesterday about how badly Pipsqueak wants an Oscar nomination. Needless to say, he thinks he’s deserving of one for his performance in The Social Network. This is when you snort. Oh, you mean when David Fincher had to heavy edit all his scenes, layered with distracting music like a music video? Please. Full Story

A mountain of coke is the easy joke

November 26, 2010 10:30:17 Posted at November 26, 2010 10:30:17
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Especially when you read this quote. From Ethan Terra who just happens to be the o-owner of Dina Lohan’s production company. “Lindsay has absolutely no qualms about getting work. She literally has a mountain pile of scripts to choose from. When she is ready, we’d like to see her take on a positive role; she is doing so amazingly well with her recovery. Full Story

Porny’s not pregnant

November 24, 2010 07:19:51 Posted at November 24, 2010 07:19:51
Lainey Posted by Lainey

At least that’s what she told Access Hollywood. The other day the bump-obsessed among you swore up and down that she looked rough at the airport in New York because she’s in her first trimester. Could be. But she says no. “There are no babies yet. Full Story

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Porny hides her ring...and not

November 22, 2010 08:20:26 Posted at November 22, 2010 08:20:26
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Jessica Simpson arrived in New York last night with her fiancé/professional escort and her father. This combination... I mean... How would you like to hang out permanently with your fiance and your father? Look at the two of them side by side. They’re starting to have the same thighs. Gross. Full Story

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Anne, Tina, Kristen

November 19, 2010 09:05:59 Posted at November 19, 2010 09:05:59
Lainey Posted by Lainey

All three were at the American Museum of Natural History 2010 Gala last night in New York. Hathaway is hosting Saturday Night Live this weekend. Smart of her to be around Fey and Wiig, soak up as much funny as she can. Steal some if she has to. Because Jesus the SNLs have been hurting. Even Jon Hamm’s wasn’t that great. Full Story

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