Dumbass Articles

Celebrity bad decisions, mistakes, and Hollywood stupidity.

Porny plays the Doctor Game & Sailor Suits

Lainey Posted by Lainey at December 1, 2010 09:15:45 December 1, 2010 09:15:45

My Porny Simpson’s engagement was the top story for, oh, maybe 5 minutes. Then Prince William came along and shot her ass off the front page. Swifty and Jakey kept her off too. Now the Brange is dominating the spotlight to sell their new projects... So what does a Porny do? Well, she has to fight for scraps, take whatever she can, talk to whoever will listen. Full Story

Is it 2003?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 29, 2010 13:17:06 November 29, 2010 13:17:06

As you know, Barbara Walters every year releases a list of the 10 Most Fascinating People. The special airs next Thursday on ABC. Naturally they’re cockteasing everyone until the big reveal, releasing several names but, obviously, holding back the big one. So far we know 8 of the 10. They are as follows: Sandra Bullock –Oscar, infidelity, secret adoption, philanthropy, popularity, done. Full Story

Pippy’s Oscar bargains

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 29, 2010 07:12:42 November 29, 2010 07:12:42

Hilarious article on Page Six yesterday about how badly Pipsqueak wants an Oscar nomination. Needless to say, he thinks he’s deserving of one for his performance in The Social Network. This is when you snort. Oh, you mean when David Fincher had to heavy edit all his scenes, layered with distracting music like a music video? Please. Full Story

A mountain of coke is the easy joke

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 26, 2010 10:30:17 November 26, 2010 10:30:17

Especially when you read this quote. From Ethan Terra who just happens to be the o-owner of Dina Lohan’s production company. “Lindsay has absolutely no qualms about getting work. She literally has a mountain pile of scripts to choose from. When she is ready, we’d like to see her take on a positive role; she is doing so amazingly well with her recovery. Full Story

Porny’s not pregnant

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 24, 2010 07:19:51 November 24, 2010 07:19:51

At least that’s what she told Access Hollywood. The other day the bump-obsessed among you swore up and down that she looked rough at the airport in New York because she’s in her first trimester. Could be. But she says no. “There are no babies yet. Full Story

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Porny hides her ring...and not

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 22, 2010 08:20:26 November 22, 2010 08:20:26

Jessica Simpson arrived in New York last night with her fiancé/professional escort and her father. This combination... I mean... How would you like to hang out permanently with your fiance and your father? Look at the two of them side by side. They’re starting to have the same thighs. Gross. Full Story

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Anne, Tina, Kristen

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 19, 2010 09:05:59 November 19, 2010 09:05:59

All three were at the American Museum of Natural History 2010 Gala last night in New York. Hathaway is hosting Saturday Night Live this weekend. Smart of her to be around Fey and Wiig, soak up as much funny as she can. Steal some if she has to. Because Jesus the SNLs have been hurting. Even Jon Hamm’s wasn’t that great. Full Story

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Can’t let Jakey have all the love

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 18, 2010 14:11:00 November 18, 2010 14:11:00

It’s like Ryan Gosling was standing by, watching Jakey G the last couple of weeks getting us all weak and quivery, and decided enough is enough. He came back swinging HARD. So you know about this business with the MPAA. Blue Valentine has been given an NC17 rating because of a sex scene between a married couple that they feel is too real. Full Story

Dina vs Glee/GOOP

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 17, 2010 14:29:28 November 17, 2010 14:29:28

Some people you love to hate. I love to hate Katherine Heigl. It’s so much fun. And Jessica Biel too. Very entertaining. Many of you feel the same way about Gwyneth Paltrow. I get that. She’s always there, giving you reason. But Dina Lohan, Dina Lohan you can’t love to hate. Dina Lohan you just hate. Full Story

Emma & Dexter in New York

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 17, 2010 08:45:21 November 17, 2010 08:45:21

The stars of One Day were in New York last night promoting separate projects. First my sweet Jim Sturgess at a screening for Heartless – the trailer is below – looking, as always, a little out of place and confused. It’s adorable. Heartless, though directly by promising horror genre auteur Philip Ridley, probably won’t get much attention. Full Story

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Vin Diesel: Sexiest Man Alive on Facebook

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 17, 2010 07:12:47 November 17, 2010 07:12:47

Well if that’s not a reason to quit Facebook... I don’t use Facebook. For various reasons, but mostly because it’s a time sucker. Today I am grateful for this, because I’ve now learned that Facebook users are the kind who voted Vin Diesel the Sexiest Man Alive. Really? Him? Shrek? He is Shrek. Full Story