Dumbass Articles

Celebrity bad decisions, mistakes, and Hollywood stupidity.

The people around Porny...and her ex-husband

October 22, 2010 08:13:34 Posted at October 22, 2010 08:13:34
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Jessica Simpson and her attachment Eric Johnson went out for dinner last night to Red-O in Hollywood. Also there, purely by coincidence, was ex-husband Nick Lachey with his long-time squeeze Vanessa Minnillo. No, no, no, I’m sure it wasn’t awkward. But Eric was awfully extra about his affection towards Porny while they were leaving, leaning in from behind with the cameras in their faces, recognising a moment where he’d be extra needed. Full Story

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The Jackie O of her time

October 21, 2010 08:52:13 Posted at October 21, 2010 08:52:13
Lainey Posted by Lainey

What? Sometimes, some days, I just want to walk around punching people. Violence is wrong. But asstalking is so infuriating. So here’s a quote from Eric Daman, the stylist who works on Gossip Girl. He’s speaking here of Blake Lively, specifically as it relates to her sartorial side: "She’s not an anorexic bitch, she has tits and an ass. Full Story

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Porny gets it right and also very wrong

October 14, 2010 07:15:42 Posted at October 14, 2010 07:15:42
Lainey Posted by Lainey

It’s exactly as Sasha said yesterday in the article about the Big Boob Rule – click here for a refresher. Jessica Simpson in a scoop neck under a blazer, I mean f-ck those tits are still crazy but it’s flattering, and she looks good, and there’s nothing suggestively indecent about it. Full Story

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Live with Jon Hamm

October 14, 2010 06:54:41 Posted at October 14, 2010 06:54:41
Lainey Posted by Lainey

As noted earlier, tonight’s 30 Rock will go live. Twice. And both Jon Hamm and Matt Damon will be making guest appearances. Obviously then, Hamm is returning as Dumb Drew. I really love when Liz’s boyfriends get together. Dream, real, whatever, I don’t care. Is Michael Sheen coming along? Please. Full Story

We’re all complicit in the asinine ratings system

October 11, 2010 10:26:00 Posted at October 11, 2010 10:26:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Written by Sarah As you’ve probably heard by now, the Motion Picture Association of America made a shocking decision to hand Blue Valentine, the Ryan Gosling and Michelle Williams drama which has been a festival darling all year, an NC-17 rating. Full Story

Dumbf-ckery

October 8, 2010 08:08:08 Posted at October 8, 2010 08:08:08
Lainey Posted by Lainey

A friend of mine emailed me today with the subject line: I don’t f-cking get it. Me neither. The Oxygen Network has announced that they’ve not only renewed the Tori Spelling reality show for a 6th – 6!!!! – season, they’ve also moved ahead with a second show for the couple called, try to restrain yourself here, sTORIbook Weddings, in which Tori and Kevin Federline Jr “turn the bride-to-be’s dreams for a beautiful event into a reality (and) help the groom-to-be navigate all the twists and turns. Full Story

Porny pukes and farts

October 7, 2010 09:14:00 Posted at October 7, 2010 09:14:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

If you’re one of those broads who can’t handle the Ick, you might not want to keep reading. There is no time for daintiness in this article. Anyone who knows me, or who’s just met me for that matter, will tell you that I love to talk about poo. Obsessively. During the Olympics when our systems were all f-cked up because we started work at 1am and bombed straight through, Amy and I would dedicate at least 15 minutes to deep poo discussion. Full Story

She’s saggy and cellulite-y

October 6, 2010 09:15:29 Posted at October 6, 2010 09:15:29
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Jessica Alba covers the new British GQ. She looks good, right? Apparently in her mind not really. Alba told the magazine: "My breasts are saggy, I've got cellulite, my hips are bigger...every actress out there is more beautiful than me.” If you are then what am I? Oh la. Full Story

How can this be 2nd?

October 5, 2010 13:15:58 Posted at October 5, 2010 13:15:58
Lainey Posted by Lainey

There was some super scientific poll that released yesterday ranking the most eligible single women in the world. Halle Berry came in second to Jennifer Aniston. Um, really? How is Halle Berry second to anyone? Check her out last night in New York. In those pants. And the steezy little jacket, as fit as she’s ever been, and she’s always fit anyway, and glowing from so much Parisien sex with Olivier Martinez, a quick European drop in while over there on business promoting her fragrance last week – photos attached from Poland – clearly making the most of her current romantic status: enjoying unattached attachment? Is that an option on Facebook? And this, this freak of hot nature, is second to someone? I don’t get it. Full Story

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$29.99!?!?

October 4, 2010 07:31:00 Posted at October 4, 2010 07:31:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Written by Sasha* JewelMint. Take a guess. Is it a new stick of gum? A Chinese fusion restaurant? Nope, it’s the new social shopping site featuring exceptionally crap jewelry courtesy of Kate Bosworth. Kate’s teamed up with her friend/stylist Cher Coulter and launched a website where for $29. Full Story