Dumbass Articles

Celebrity bad decisions, mistakes, and Hollywood stupidity.

Rihanna’s not badass enough for Jenny Humphrey

August 23, 2010 08:05:00 Posted at August 23, 2010 08:05:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Yeah so Taylor Momsen’s interview with Spin – have you read it? She’s so hardcore with her eyeliner and her band and the holes in her stockings, you know, like real rock’n’roll and other bitches like Rihanna are total pretenders. "People think pop is rock, and the lines are getting blurred. Full Story

View All 9 Photos

Angelina Jolie/Marilyn Monroe

August 16, 2010 08:49:00 Posted at August 16, 2010 08:49:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Elizabeth Taylor does not want anyone playing her in a movie about her life in Furious Love despite all those dumbass rumours that the Jolie would be taking on the role. But what about Marilyn Monroe? Andrew O’Hagan wrote a book about Marilyn’s dog Maf, The Life And Opinions Of Maf The Dog, And Of His Friend Marilyn Monroe. Full Story

Porny’s KFed

August 9, 2010 15:31:23 Posted at August 9, 2010 15:31:23
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Chicken Fried’s sharp downhill slide started around the time she publicly straddled that freeloader on the beach. Could Porny have a freeloading KFed of her own? As you know, Jessica Simpson is dating Eric Johnson. Johnson is 30, had an unremarkable professional football career, and was accepted to Wharton but has apparently decided not to study and work hard and instead stay close to my Porny who makes millions a year and is dumb enough to pay his way. Full Story

Porny’s Barbie waist

August 6, 2010 10:04:00 Posted at August 6, 2010 10:04:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Oh please. My Porny is on the cover of the new issue of Lucky. In the magazine she offers her style recommendations which, on paper, sound pretty good, until you remember than in practice, well, her style can best be defined by the desire to get a cock in her mouth. That’s why I affectionately call her my Porny. Full Story

Justice is a “terrible inconvenience”

August 5, 2010 07:10:44 Posted at August 5, 2010 07:10:44
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Naomi Campbell is at The Hague today testifying in the war crimes trial of former Liberian President Charles Taylor about those diamonds. Remember she lost her sh-t about those diamonds? The presenter’s face at the end of this video kills me. Naomi’s testimony has been well documented. She says she received a pouch with some “dirty” looking stones, she said they were in her possession for just a few hours, and then she said she handed them off to someone else, acknowledging that they were “probably” a gift from Taylor and thinking nothing special of it because, in her position, she gets gifts all the time. Full Story

Angelina, Brad...and Javier

July 22, 2010 08:25:00 Posted at July 22, 2010 08:25:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

When asked recently by Elle (thanks Benita!) whether or not he makes the ladies fall in love with him on set, Javier Bardem downplayed his own sexy beasty-ness and instead decided to mancrush all over Brad Pitt: “No, no. I’m not Brad Pitt. Full Story

View All 15 Photos

Same Old Lohans

July 15, 2010 12:15:00 Posted at July 15, 2010 12:15:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Written by Sarah Lindsay Lohan has entered rehab to detox in advance of her ninety-day jail stint. This is not a bad idea. Get through the worst of it before being confronted with the reality going to jail, which will be emotionally brutal enough without adding the shakes into it. Full Story

SIT DOWN Eva Mendes

July 14, 2010 07:54:46 Posted at July 14, 2010 07:54:46
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Another one in a growing list. Jessica Biel has said that her beauty is a burden to her getting great roles. Evangeline Lilly has complained about that too. And now Eva Mendes who is currently promoting The Other Guys in which she plays Will Ferrell’s hot wife and apparently the big joke about that in the movie is that she’s so hot but not to him, that he’s oblivious to her hotness, and this makes it funny. Full Story

Crank tweets: the human rights violation

July 8, 2010 08:02:08 Posted at July 8, 2010 08:02:08
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Lindsay Lohan managed to stay home yesterday following her sentencing. She actually did not go to her own birthday party. They must have had to strap that sh-t down to stop her from leaving the house. Forced to abstain from the circuit for just one night Lilo, naturally, tweaked out on Twitter, addressing the Nail Polish F-ck U situation: “didn't we do our nails as a joke with our friend dc? it had nothing to do w/court. Full Story

Porny’s new diet, new boyfriend, same show

July 5, 2010 07:39:27 Posted at July 5, 2010 07:39:27
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Jessica Simpson tweeted last week that she was shocking her body with some kind of vegan diet. Then she showed up this weekend in West Virginia at the opening of the Casino Club at the Greenbrier Resort and I don’t see much change. Maybe it’s on the inside. Because on the outside she still makes me uncomfortable. Full Story

View All 13 Photos

The obvious Ashley Greene

June 25, 2010 08:53:01 Posted at June 25, 2010 08:53:01
Lainey Posted by Lainey

So the Eclipse premiere finally happened last night. And of course Ashley Greene, being the side player she is, did what she could to convince you that she’s a lead player, that she matters. Last time she tried to outdress Kristen Stewart and showed up like it was the daytime Emmy Awards – click here for a refresher Full Story

View All 12 Photos