Dumbass Articles

Celebrity bad decisions, mistakes, and Hollywood stupidity.

Do you know what you’re wearing...

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 3, 2010 08:16:08 May 3, 2010 08:16:08

You stupid f-ck? I’m normally a Peaches apologist. Maybe because I have a friend who looks like her. Maybe it’s the anglophile in me. Definitely it’s all the drama. But there’s drama and then there’s ignorance. And this bitch right here is a f-cking dumbass. Do you know what you’re wearing? Her boyfriend obviously never saw what she was wearing. Full Story

When Porny talks about her mouth...

Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 28, 2010 08:53:03 April 28, 2010 08:53:03

This sh-t just writes itself. "My lips just slide all over the place....I can't catch up with my mouth. I need a little coating...." And you wonder why I call her Porny. It just comes naturally. And this is also why I used to say she had a cocksucker’s mouth. Because, well, she can’t f-cking help it. Full Story

Bottom is still a long way off

Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 27, 2010 08:48:16 April 27, 2010 08:48:16

During my conversation with Maureen Callahan at the New York Post for her article on Lindsay Lohan – click here to read it if you missed it yesterday – she asked me why the public still cares. Why, when it’s the same drama day after day, why we’re still following. Full Story

View All 12 Photos

GOOPy is Chinese again

Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 23, 2010 07:58:18 April 23, 2010 07:58:18

Yesterday’s GOOP featured Spring Allergy and Detox Remedies – Chinese Medicine Style. Like last time, Gwyneth enlisted the help of Adele Reising. Like last time, being Chinese, I have no idea what she was writing about. Adele and G would probably say I’m just not Chinese enough. Tell that to my ma. Full Story

Dumbest Idea Ever: Tori Spelling edition

Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 21, 2010 12:34:56 April 21, 2010 12:34:56

First there was that assf-cked report that Robert Pattinson was lobbying to play Kurt Cobain. Now ABC is apparently developing a talk show featuring Tori Spelling and her “bff”, some random gay they’re still searching for who will bounce off her bones like Will & Grace styles. Really? And people would watch this. Full Story

One Green Prune

Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 15, 2010 12:48:46 April 15, 2010 12:48:46

It’s always better when the prunes double up but they have separate identities now. Still can’t distinguish what those identities might be but these are their wishes, we must respect them. Try. So MK Olsen turned up yesterday at the Grand opening celebration of Otarian: The Planet's Most Sustainable Restaurant on Bleecker Street in New York. Full Story

View All 12 Photos

She really does have a great ass

Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 14, 2010 15:46:55 April 14, 2010 15:46:55

Jennifer Aniston hikes up her jeans today on the set of Just Go With It with Adam Sandler. A really great ass. It could rival her hair. But dude, what is her deal with wedge heels? And why Lola Vie??? According to Life & Style (I know…) Aniston is launching her own fragrance. And she’s calling it Lola Vie Really? Lola Vie? Yeah, she’s full of clichés but Lola Vie? Even by her Chicken Soup cliché standards Lola Vie seems rather bromidic. Full Story

Big Love Pant-Off

Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 13, 2010 09:24:00 April 13, 2010 09:24:00

Ginnifer Goodwin and Chloe Sevigny attended The Met premiere of Armida at Lincoln Centre last night both in black pants. I wish Ginnifer’s were a little longer. Who wins the Big Love Pant-Off? Goodwin, as noted yesterday, has signed on to work with Kate Hudson and Colin Farrell, among others, in the film adaptation of Something Borrowed. Full Story

View All 12 Photos

Vajazzling works quickly

Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 8, 2010 17:02:33 April 8, 2010 17:02:33

Size 2 Love broke up with Jamie Kennedy like 5 minutes ago. Already her bedazzled vagina has hooked up another companion. His name is John Asher. He is the ex husband of Jenny McCarthy, the father of her son Evan. Supposedly John couldn’t handle Evan’s autism. Jenny doesn’t speak too highly of him. Full Story

She says her face is her own

Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 8, 2010 10:25:19 April 8, 2010 10:25:19

Demi Moore is talking about her body but not her face in the new issue of UK Elle. Now 47 and looking, really, better than ever, Demi claims that she’s finally happy with her body because she finally stopped caring. She was fixated on fitness at one point but now... get ready for it... ugh... She’s “let go”. Full Story

Why is Pippy suddenly Matt Damon?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 7, 2010 12:52:39 April 7, 2010 12:52:39

That Matt Damon is sent a heavy load of scripts is understandable. He’s Matt Damon. But... Justin Timberlake? He recently wrapped on The Social Network (the Facebook story), he’s currently working on Bad Teacher with Cammie D, and now he’s reportedly close to confirming another lead in a comedy called Friends With Benefits about some dude who meets an attractive girl at a meeting and they agree to f-ck but not date and all goes well until he falls in love with her but she has a boyfriend. Full Story

View All 12 Photos