Dumbass Articles

Celebrity bad decisions, mistakes, and Hollywood stupidity.

GOOP says sleep

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 4, 2010 08:08:43 March 4, 2010 08:08:43

Today’s GOOP newsletter is about the importance of sleep and what happens when you don’t get enough of it. Well f-ck, no kidding. G asked her doctor to give us some tips to help us get to sleep, assuming of course that everyone out there has time for sleep. Sleep is a luxury for those who hustle. Full Story

For Michael Phelps: Distinguishing Asians 101

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 1, 2010 15:39:00 March 1, 2010 15:39:00

Reference article click here. Read it first before the rest. Thank you for your emails and encouragement after TMZ posted it on Saturday. Summary: American bronze medal snowboarder Scott Lago revealed on Kimmel and to TMZ cameras that he thought he was at the centre of some conspiracy theory to bring him down after photos were leaked online showing him with a party girl biting his medal around his crotch and chest. Full Story

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The Chosen One and her hair

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 24, 2010 08:21:00 February 24, 2010 08:21:00

Have received a few alarming emails about this, and many of you have sent along the links to comments on message boards. Here’s a good example. It’s disturbing. That The Chosen One can’t get a haircut without her parents being accused of child abuse or deliberately turning her into a lesbian/transgender/freak – their words, not mine. Full Story

Another useless author

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 17, 2010 08:11:00 February 17, 2010 08:11:00

She’s already written two, or is it three?, best selling books. Now Entertainment Weekly is reporting that Tori Spelling will be releasing a children’s book called Presenting...Tallulah “the tale of a spunky little girl who is constantly told what not to do: not to wear jeans, not to get dirty. Full Story

Porny won’t strip

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 16, 2010 12:28:57 February 16, 2010 12:28:57

Jessica Simpson is kicking off promotion for her new show Price of Beauty on VH1 premiering in March. Here she is on the cover of the March issue of Allure. Note how lovely she can look with proper styling. Note that with the direction of someone fashionable, Ken Paves is actually capable of making her look not cheap and tacky or soapy. Full Story

Dumb reading

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 12, 2010 07:23:00 February 12, 2010 07:23:00

Her first book LA Candy was a bestseller. Now her second book Sweet Little Lies which literally just hit shelves 5 minutes ago is another bestseller. Lauren Conrad is now a two time bestselling author... Said Lauren of the quick success of her novels: "It's so gratifying for my second book to be so successful and it was so fun to write! The characters were already developed so I really enjoyed the process so much more this time around. Full Story

Chinese GOOPY

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 11, 2010 11:21:10 February 11, 2010 11:21:10

Sunday February 14th. It’s a big day. It’s Chinese New Year. Very, very important. Of course, because she’s so spiritual, and because she’s, like, totally Asian and knows how to take all the calories out of an Asian salad, and brown rices everything, this week’s GOOP newsletter is all about the Year of the Tiger. Full Story

You are taunting Third Lip

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 11, 2010 07:37:45 February 11, 2010 07:37:45

Can you imagine how jealous Granny Freeze Nicole Kidman must be of Jessica Biel’s mouth? Third Lip wants THAT Third Lip. And it’s natural...right? Discuss. After that nauseating display of girly chickflickness with Taupe Jennifer Garner, fronting like they’re all for women, Biel showed up on Letterman and demonstrated yet again her uninspired personality. Full Story

MiniVan Morning Porn

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 10, 2010 15:01:25 February 10, 2010 15:01:25

Ryan Gosling, where are you? I need you. Because it’s been a long ass day. Between the Olympics and blogging and rehearsals and a thousand emails on both accounts, this is the sh-t that completely picked my ass. I need a distraction from the sugar raping poseur vagina monologue delivered by Taupe and Shelfy on Good Morning America. Full Story

Crack hoarder

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 4, 2010 07:55:56 February 4, 2010 07:55:56

Crack tweeter, crack hoarder, fraud designer, used to be an actor...who else? It’s Lindsay Lohan. And she allowed cameras from The Insider inside her house to shoot her sh-t. Literally. She has sh-t everywhere. Her living room is a dump. A bedroom has been turned into a shoe storage. Racks and racks of clothing are jammed up against the walls. Full Story

Dumb title portends more?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 28, 2010 17:11:09 January 28, 2010 17:11:09

As you know, for months I’ve been bitching about the dumbassness of the title Wall Street 2: Money Never Sleeps. A trailer has been released online. Don’t really like the way it’s cut but am still kinda intrigued. By Michael Douglas. Shia LaBeouf looks like an infant. And while that scene with Carey Mulligan in her shirt and laptop is totally useless, she does look gorgeous. Full Story