Dumbass Articles

Celebrity bad decisions, mistakes, and Hollywood stupidity.

Chinese GOOPY

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 11, 2010 11:21:10 February 11, 2010 11:21:10

Sunday February 14th. It’s a big day. It’s Chinese New Year. Very, very important. Of course, because she’s so spiritual, and because she’s, like, totally Asian and knows how to take all the calories out of an Asian salad, and brown rices everything, this week’s GOOP newsletter is all about the Year of the Tiger. Full Story

You are taunting Third Lip

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 11, 2010 07:37:45 February 11, 2010 07:37:45

Can you imagine how jealous Granny Freeze Nicole Kidman must be of Jessica Biel’s mouth? Third Lip wants THAT Third Lip. And it’s natural...right? Discuss. After that nauseating display of girly chickflickness with Taupe Jennifer Garner, fronting like they’re all for women, Biel showed up on Letterman and demonstrated yet again her uninspired personality. Full Story

MiniVan Morning Porn

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 10, 2010 15:01:25 February 10, 2010 15:01:25

Ryan Gosling, where are you? I need you. Because it’s been a long ass day. Between the Olympics and blogging and rehearsals and a thousand emails on both accounts, this is the sh-t that completely picked my ass. I need a distraction from the sugar raping poseur vagina monologue delivered by Taupe and Shelfy on Good Morning America. Full Story

Crack hoarder

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 4, 2010 07:55:56 February 4, 2010 07:55:56

Crack tweeter, crack hoarder, fraud designer, used to be an actor...who else? It’s Lindsay Lohan. And she allowed cameras from The Insider inside her house to shoot her sh-t. Literally. She has sh-t everywhere. Her living room is a dump. A bedroom has been turned into a shoe storage. Racks and racks of clothing are jammed up against the walls. Full Story

Dumb title portends more?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 28, 2010 17:11:09 January 28, 2010 17:11:09

As you know, for months I’ve been bitching about the dumbassness of the title Wall Street 2: Money Never Sleeps. A trailer has been released online. Don’t really like the way it’s cut but am still kinda intrigued. By Michael Douglas. Shia LaBeouf looks like an infant. And while that scene with Carey Mulligan in her shirt and laptop is totally useless, she does look gorgeous. Full Story

Porny is gassy

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 28, 2010 08:44:25 January 28, 2010 08:44:25

No, it’s not mature. No, my photo selection for this post isn’t helping. But this is a f-cking emergency. And we need immediate, drastic action even if it’s a little juvenile.Us Weekly Full Story

How Posh sees Posh

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 28, 2010 07:50:06 January 28, 2010 07:50:06

Victoria Beckham is pimping her dresses in the pages of 10 magazine. She and David both have their own covers – click here to see - and she tells the magazine that you don’t have to be a size double 0 to fit in her pieces. Full Story

WORST SAGs: Drew Barrymore

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 25, 2010 06:20:00 January 25, 2010 06:20:00

I can’t remember loving to hating as swiftly as I have for Drew Barrymore. Because if you’ve been reading my site long enough, I adored her. So much. But something happened along the way to Grey Gardens. And now Drew has gone from goofy and endearing to eyestabbing f-cking annoying let-me-slap-the-fairy-dust-out-of-your-nose insufferable. Full Story

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Cheese Champers!

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 15, 2010 16:28:58 January 15, 2010 16:28:58

Remember when drunk ass Mimi sprinkled her amazingness all over the stage at the Palm Springs Film Festival last week? She explained afterwards that she kept enjoying “splashes” of champagne throughout the night. This kills me.The Splashes. Full Story

A tricked out vagina sells books

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 13, 2010 12:01:29 January 13, 2010 12:01:29

Every dumb twat has a book out these days. Is it easy to write a book? It must be. Not for people who can actually write, of course, but definitely easy for people writing for idiots. How else can you explain Tori Spelling’s two bestsellers? Now it’s Size 2 Jennifer Love Hewitt. Because she’s dated, like, everyone. Full Story