Dumbass Articles

Celebrity bad decisions, mistakes, and Hollywood stupidity.

Raisin’ ‘em right

August 11, 2009 11:40:25 Posted at August 11, 2009 11:40:25
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Yes yes y’all. After daddy took over and they sorted her out, Chicken Fried now has full access to her booboos. And how are they doing? Well according to Gatecrasher Full Story

Spittle figures it out

August 7, 2009 10:44:50 Posted at August 7, 2009 10:44:50
Lainey Posted by Lainey

She’s boring. Had to laugh when I saw these photos. Jennifer Aniston and Gerard Butler on set in New York and Spittle is yawning…because, as my mother would say, being with her it’s so f-cking dow Full Story

Geriatric and a beater

August 4, 2009 11:01:09 Posted at August 4, 2009 11:01:09
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Chris Brown apparently gets formally sentenced tomorrow. After that, Radar is reporting he’ll be talking to Larry King as his handlers are arranging it so that he can “get his apology across without facing brutal questioning. Full Story

Another child to pimp

August 3, 2009 13:09:00 Posted at August 3, 2009 13:09:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Ever heard of DJ AC? Ugh. The A is for Ali. As in 40 year old Ali Lohan. The C is for Cody, her younger brother, who is now her DJ partner. They’re to “perform” on the 1s and 2s on August 15th at MegaJam in Long Island. Or something. Dina Lohan is so proud. It’s the reason she had so many kids. Full Story

Size 2 is a dumbass

August 3, 2009 12:46:22 Posted at August 3, 2009 12:46:22
Lainey Posted by Lainey

And a famewhore. And if I’m CBS, and she twisted her ankle and couldn’t work as a result of playing tennis in wedge heels, I’d withhold her pay. This is what it’s like on the Grouse Grind Full Story

Shut your cockmouth and wear a bra

August 3, 2009 09:48:02 Posted at August 3, 2009 09:48:02
Lainey Posted by Lainey

An extraordinary amount of patience is required to be friends with Jessica Simpson. I am not a patient person. But I am a good friend. And she needs me, so I’m working on it. Porny is frustrating though because progress is always mixed with f-ckery. Before celebrating improvement, you must wait for the other shoe to drop. Full Story

View All 10 Photos

Non pregnant trench

July 29, 2009 09:53:38 Posted at July 29, 2009 09:53:38
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Gisele Bundchen and Tom Brady have not officially confirmed they’re expecting even though it’s already been published in asskissy People which means it’s not only totally true, but that the magazine received the couple’s secret endorsement. G recently posed for London Fog in a new campaign. Full Story

Dumbasses write books and make movies

July 29, 2009 09:18:42 Posted at July 29, 2009 09:18:42
Lainey Posted by Lainey

This is an I Hate People article. It will make you angry and punchy. You have been warned. Lisa Rinna “wrote” a book. It’s called Rinnavation: Getting Your Best Life Ever. Really? Her????? Yes. Her. Lisa Rinna can help you improve your life. Please. She was at a signing yesterday and showed off all six of her lips. Full Story

View All 12 Photos

School is not for artists…or child stars

July 29, 2009 08:03:25 Posted at July 29, 2009 08:03:25
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Taylor Momsen celebrated her 16th birthday yesterday by performing with her band Pretty Reckless in New York. As you can see, she looks 16 the way Miley Cyrus does. And the way Ali Lohan does. In other words, 35 and plucked. Awesome. Taylor is also celebrating her Teen Vogue cover and an interview that serves to convince us of her maturity and artistry. Full Story

JailBait Batgirl?

July 29, 2009 07:05:57 Posted at July 29, 2009 07:05:57
Lainey Posted by Lainey

As Gary Oldman revealed at Comic-Con, the brilliant Christopher Nolan will direct a third Batman with Christian Bale as the Dark Knight, and rumour has it JailBait Miley Cyrus wants to be Batgirl so badly she dressed in character for an impromptu audition, not unlike that crazy bitch Sean Young back in the day with Catwoman, and supposedly “stunned Warner executives” when she started hopping around the room adlibbing self written dialogue… …the f-ck? Most people think it’s a bullsh-t story. Full Story

Shelfy compares herself to Meryl and Cate

July 28, 2009 09:24:18 Posted at July 28, 2009 09:24:18
Lainey Posted by Lainey

She did. I know. My blood is boiling too. Shelf Ass Jessica Biel sat town with the LA Times to promote her gig at the Hollywood Bowl – she’s performing in Guys & Dolls and everyone involved in the production has been raving about her “silvery” voice, her range, her pipes. Full Story