Dumbass Articles

Celebrity bad decisions, mistakes, and Hollywood stupidity.

Money GOOP

Lainey Posted by Lainey at October 1, 2009 09:01:56 October 1, 2009 09:01:56

Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin are supposedly renovating their London home. Making it bigger. Like Madonna did. They bought the place next door and are smashing the two together for one giant GOOP nest. UK gossips estimate that by the end of it they’ll have spent over $10 million on improvements alone. Full Story

JailBait dance moves

Lainey Posted by Lainey at September 24, 2009 11:19:32 September 24, 2009 11:19:32

Miley Cyrus played the Honda Centre in Anaheim last night. Check out the young man grooving behind her. Good wholesome entertainment! The Cyrus Family would probably tell you that God created the crotch grab and that Jesus wanted her to stick her ass right up into it. Hey, when I was 16, sex was the only subject on my mind too. Full Story

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She totally hates them

Lainey Posted by Lainey at September 22, 2009 09:16:09 September 22, 2009 09:16:09

JailBait Miley Cyrus was photographed by the paps after lunch with her friend yesterday. Doesn’t she look like she hates the paps so much? They are vile, reprehensible creatures! This, you see, is the message she tried to convey on her Twitter Full Story

Life without Daisy

Lainey Posted by Lainey at September 22, 2009 07:57:15 September 22, 2009 07:57:15

I’m not trashing Jessica Simpson for losing her dog. She might be dumb as f-ck with poor taste in men, pathetic and sad and stylistically challenged, but when it comes to the death of Daisy, I’m not jumping on the hate train with Martha Stewart and so many others, especially when she’s grieving a tragedy, no matter if it was preventable. Full Story

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GOOPy bitchface!

Lainey Posted by Lainey at September 18, 2009 11:31:00 September 18, 2009 11:31:00

GOOP the newsletter took a month off because it’s really exhausting telling people how to live. GOOP packed up the kids and went touring with Chris Martin and Coldplay. She’s kept a very low profile all summer. Last time we saw her she was in Barcelona. Full Story

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Dictionary of the Stupid Generation

Lainey Posted by Lainey at September 18, 2009 07:14:08 September 18, 2009 07:14:08

In Jane Bussman’s The Worst Date Ever (which you MUST read if you haven’t already) she calls it The Golden Age of Stupid, a generation of twats and toffs with no discernable personality, skill, or, for that matter, ability to communicate. This is the generation that is currently raping the word DIVA. Full Story

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Lainey’s ShameF-ck Got Some Shameful Tats

Lainey Posted by Lainey at September 15, 2009 06:48:00 September 15, 2009 06:48:00

My friends and I occasionally play the game of “If I were to get a tattoo, it would be a…” I once made the mistake of saying I wanted a mermaid tattoo, to which I was laughed right out of the room. I blame Madison for that one. I mean, seeing Darryl Hannah unfurl her tail in that bathtub scene in Splash had me re-enacting that for weeks. Full Story

She still looks mute

Lainey Posted by Lainey at September 14, 2009 15:22:48 September 14, 2009 15:22:48

They’re continuing to shoot Sex & the City 2 in New York. A familiar prop was back on set today: The mute Asian baby! Photo Assumption says she’s still mute. They put her at the lunch table again. Where are her crayons? How will they use her as a lame plot device this time? Let’s give it a stab: Anthony and Stanford get married. Full Story

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Brand shame

Lainey Posted by Lainey at September 10, 2009 06:33:40 September 10, 2009 06:33:40

Ran out of time and wasn’t able to address this yesterday, am sure you’ve heard – the Ungaro announcement that Lindsay Lohan has been named the brand’s “artistic adviser”. Based on what? Even Women’s Wear Daily can’t hide its disdain. The news actually leaked a few months ago. Full Story

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Don’t yawn at your own movie

Lainey Posted by Lainey at September 9, 2009 10:08:55 September 9, 2009 10:08:55

This is a monumental task when your movie is called Love Happens costarring Jennifer Aniston. I can’t stop bitching about it. That title. LOVE HAPPENS. It’s the laziness that’s so insulting. Like – we can’t be bothered to come up with an original script with original characters and an original story and even an original title because… well… why should we when the MiniVan doesn’t require it? True. Full Story

Proud Tears

Lainey Posted by Lainey at September 1, 2009 07:03:01 September 1, 2009 07:03:01

Look at our Porny… Yesterday at LAX with Ken Paves and her dad – her tits are under control, it’s a very flattering trench cinched at the right spot, hair is natural and unweaved, a very cute pair of shoes in a tasteful colour… There is no trace of porn. Porny looks decent. Oh honey. Full Story

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