Dumbass Articles

Celebrity bad decisions, mistakes, and Hollywood stupidity.

SATC 2 – Exclusive

July 24, 2009 10:26:02 Posted at July 24, 2009 10:26:02
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Stop reading here if you can’t handle the spoilers. Sex & the City the second movie – a few exclusive plot details. You ready? Ugh. My sources tell me that JailBait Miley Cyrus, as of this week, is confirmed to be on set for one day. Not known yet exactly what she’s playing but f-ck, it’ll make her head bigger and mashed mouth even more annoying. Full Story

Cruz and Becks matching haircuts

July 24, 2009 09:28:34 Posted at July 24, 2009 09:28:34
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Heh. Cruz has a hawk. And Becks is showing off a new cut too. I love. I die. While Posh was sitting stiffly on a swing yesterday, David Beckham took his boys shopping – I guess this is how they parent? Because Victoria takes them shopping with her all the time too. Like there’s no other way to entertain children. Full Story

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Katie Holmes: Lobotomy on a dance floor

July 24, 2009 06:36:54 Posted at July 24, 2009 06:36:54
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Dreadful. Michelle said to me before leaving the office last night that she was afraid to watch SYTYCD. Afraid to feel the fontrum for Katie Holmes. And her premonition came true. It was the f-cking sh-ts. And an embarrassment to the show. Full Story

Shrek Diesel DVD

July 17, 2009 07:11:44 Posted at July 17, 2009 07:11:44
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Already? Didn’t seem like that took very long. Fast & Furious is now on DVD if you like that sort of thing – dumbasses not obeying the speed limit led by a grunting Shrek with big muscles also known as Vin Diesel. Ugh. He’s disgusting. Shrek showed up on the carpet last night because the event was also an opportunity to screen his short film Los Bandoleros. Full Story

Pissing on Oscar

July 10, 2009 13:04:20 Posted at July 10, 2009 13:04:20
Lainey Posted by Lainey

It’s a Harry Potter day but it’s also an I Hate People day. Because some people are so f-cking dumb. And I’m not referring to a Twi-Hard. Tyce Diorio choreographed Katie Holmes’s upcoming number on So You Think You Can Dance – a tribute to Judy Garland. Said Diorio of Robo’s performance: “The thing that is so awesome is that you won’t know, you don’t know what to expect … but then when you sit and watch it, it’s amazing. Full Story

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Weekly crack tweets

July 10, 2009 10:25:00 Posted at July 10, 2009 10:25:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Best way to kick off the weekend – with some incoherent crack babble courtesy of Lilo’s Twitter. Last night she was at it again, obviously desperate for attention, and bored, and cranked, with her blackberry in hand and a mind understimulated by constant shopping. First this post:Some guy just grabbed my waist-2hands-both sides. Full Story

Pippy the superhero?

July 10, 2009 08:02:00 Posted at July 10, 2009 08:02:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Hollywood f-cking shenigans… I don’t understand why they haven’t already offered this to Bradley Cooper. Instead, he’s one of three on the shortlist, alongside Ryan Reynolds and … Pipsqueak Justin Timberlake! His balls haven’t fully dropped and he’s supposed to convince us he can fight danger and save the world? Please. Full Story

Spraytan fries your brain

July 8, 2009 07:13:28 Posted at July 8, 2009 07:13:28
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Among other things. Ever heard of a movie called The Hangover? It’s this summer’s smash comedy, has grossed so far in excess of $200 million. That’s all. According to Us Weekly, the part played by Heather Graham (a stripper) was initially offered to Lindsay Lohan by director Todd Phillips. Full Story

Porny just in time

June 26, 2009 12:09:42 Posted at June 26, 2009 12:09:42
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Oh Porny! We need you! Especially since Mimi is hiding her cheese. It’s Jessica Simpson in New York last night looking surprisingly very well put together with Ken Paves and some other friends heading out for a boat cruise. We saw Ken Paves last week at the MMVAs to style Kim Kardashian and Lady Gaga. Full Story