Dumbass Articles

Celebrity bad decisions, mistakes, and Hollywood stupidity.

Lainey’s ShameF-ck Got Some Shameful Tats

Lainey Posted by Lainey at September 15, 2009 06:48:00 September 15, 2009 06:48:00

My friends and I occasionally play the game of “If I were to get a tattoo, it would be a…” I once made the mistake of saying I wanted a mermaid tattoo, to which I was laughed right out of the room. I blame Madison for that one. I mean, seeing Darryl Hannah unfurl her tail in that bathtub scene in Splash had me re-enacting that for weeks. Full Story

She still looks mute

Lainey Posted by Lainey at September 14, 2009 15:22:48 September 14, 2009 15:22:48

They’re continuing to shoot Sex & the City 2 in New York. A familiar prop was back on set today: The mute Asian baby! Photo Assumption says she’s still mute. They put her at the lunch table again. Where are her crayons? How will they use her as a lame plot device this time? Let’s give it a stab: Anthony and Stanford get married. Full Story

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Brand shame

Lainey Posted by Lainey at September 10, 2009 06:33:40 September 10, 2009 06:33:40

Ran out of time and wasn’t able to address this yesterday, am sure you’ve heard – the Ungaro announcement that Lindsay Lohan has been named the brand’s “artistic adviser”. Based on what? Even Women’s Wear Daily can’t hide its disdain. The news actually leaked a few months ago. Full Story

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Don’t yawn at your own movie

Lainey Posted by Lainey at September 9, 2009 10:08:55 September 9, 2009 10:08:55

This is a monumental task when your movie is called Love Happens costarring Jennifer Aniston. I can’t stop bitching about it. That title. LOVE HAPPENS. It’s the laziness that’s so insulting. Like – we can’t be bothered to come up with an original script with original characters and an original story and even an original title because… well… why should we when the MiniVan doesn’t require it? True. Full Story

Proud Tears

Lainey Posted by Lainey at September 1, 2009 07:03:01 September 1, 2009 07:03:01

Look at our Porny… Yesterday at LAX with Ken Paves and her dad – her tits are under control, it’s a very flattering trench cinched at the right spot, hair is natural and unweaved, a very cute pair of shoes in a tasteful colour… There is no trace of porn. Porny looks decent. Oh honey. Full Story

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Softball with Larry King

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 27, 2009 12:32:00 August 27, 2009 12:32:00

As expected, CNN has confirmed that Larry King sat down with Chris Brown for an interview that will air on September 2nd. E! reports that “it was a no-holds-barred chat during which Brown answered every question put to him. Full Story

Oh Rumey, shut your ass

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 26, 2009 13:21:00 August 26, 2009 13:21:00

Asstalking is sweeping the continent. This time it’s my Rumer Willis. Rumey has managed to nail down a few roles here and there. Suddenly it’s gone to her head, and now she’s insisting that her 3 famous parents have nothing to do with her success. That she is getting jobs on talent and not on connection. Full Story

His yellow heart is so depressed

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 26, 2009 08:11:35 August 26, 2009 08:11:35

As you know, Chris Brown was sentenced yesterday for beating the sh-t out of his girlfriend although if you clicked on People.com this morning you could have assumed that Rihanna deserved this. Anyway, on the same day he was sentenced, a “depressed” Chris Brown also put in some time at the recording studio. Full Story

Porny the judge

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 17, 2009 08:09:38 August 17, 2009 08:09:38

Page Six is reporting that Jessica Simpson’s pimp father Joe has been campaigning on behalf of his daughter to replace Paula Abdul’s vacated seat at the judge’s table on American Idol. Full Story

Robo sells at Maxfield?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 14, 2009 11:24:49 August 14, 2009 11:24:49

…the f-ck??? For those who’ve never been to Maxfield in West Hollywood… Super ultra luxe. Like crazy crazy luxe. I once became obsessed with a Rick Owens jacket there and Jacek told me I could jump up his ass because it would have meant not making our car payments for 6 months. Maxfield is a store filled with beautiful things. Full Story

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Heidi Porn

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 13, 2009 10:10:00 August 13, 2009 10:10:00

I don’t like writing about these two twats but today it must be done. Because you are still watching The Hills. And it needs to stop. As you probably know, Heidi Montag Pratt covers this month’s issue of Playboy posing with dirt smeared all over her and her mouth open like she’s ready to receive Spencer’s douche dick communion at a moment’s notice. Full Story