Dumbass Articles

Celebrity bad decisions, mistakes, and Hollywood stupidity.

Shelfy compares herself to Meryl and Cate

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 28, 2009 09:24:18 July 28, 2009 09:24:18

She did. I know. My blood is boiling too. Shelf Ass Jessica Biel sat town with the LA Times to promote her gig at the Hollywood Bowl – she’s performing in Guys & Dolls and everyone involved in the production has been raving about her “silvery” voice, her range, her pipes. Full Story

SATC 2 – Exclusive

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 24, 2009 10:26:02 July 24, 2009 10:26:02

Stop reading here if you can’t handle the spoilers. Sex & the City the second movie – a few exclusive plot details. You ready? Ugh. My sources tell me that JailBait Miley Cyrus, as of this week, is confirmed to be on set for one day. Not known yet exactly what she’s playing but f-ck, it’ll make her head bigger and mashed mouth even more annoying. Full Story

Cruz and Becks matching haircuts

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 24, 2009 09:28:34 July 24, 2009 09:28:34

Heh. Cruz has a hawk. And Becks is showing off a new cut too. I love. I die. While Posh was sitting stiffly on a swing yesterday, David Beckham took his boys shopping – I guess this is how they parent? Because Victoria takes them shopping with her all the time too. Like there’s no other way to entertain children. Full Story

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Katie Holmes: Lobotomy on a dance floor

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 24, 2009 06:36:54 July 24, 2009 06:36:54

Dreadful. Michelle said to me before leaving the office last night that she was afraid to watch SYTYCD. Afraid to feel the fontrum for Katie Holmes. And her premonition came true. It was the f-cking sh-ts. And an embarrassment to the show. Full Story

Shrek Diesel DVD

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 17, 2009 07:11:44 July 17, 2009 07:11:44

Already? Didn’t seem like that took very long. Fast & Furious is now on DVD if you like that sort of thing – dumbasses not obeying the speed limit led by a grunting Shrek with big muscles also known as Vin Diesel. Ugh. He’s disgusting. Shrek showed up on the carpet last night because the event was also an opportunity to screen his short film Los Bandoleros. Full Story

Pissing on Oscar

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 10, 2009 13:04:20 July 10, 2009 13:04:20

It’s a Harry Potter day but it’s also an I Hate People day. Because some people are so f-cking dumb. And I’m not referring to a Twi-Hard. Tyce Diorio choreographed Katie Holmes’s upcoming number on So You Think You Can Dance – a tribute to Judy Garland. Said Diorio of Robo’s performance: “The thing that is so awesome is that you won’t know, you don’t know what to expect … but then when you sit and watch it, it’s amazing. Full Story

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Weekly crack tweets

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 10, 2009 10:25:00 July 10, 2009 10:25:00

Best way to kick off the weekend – with some incoherent crack babble courtesy of Lilo’s Twitter. Last night she was at it again, obviously desperate for attention, and bored, and cranked, with her blackberry in hand and a mind understimulated by constant shopping. First this post:Some guy just grabbed my waist-2hands-both sides. Full Story

Pippy the superhero?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 10, 2009 08:02:00 July 10, 2009 08:02:00

Hollywood f-cking shenigans… I don’t understand why they haven’t already offered this to Bradley Cooper. Instead, he’s one of three on the shortlist, alongside Ryan Reynolds and … Pipsqueak Justin Timberlake! His balls haven’t fully dropped and he’s supposed to convince us he can fight danger and save the world? Please. Full Story

Spraytan fries your brain

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 8, 2009 07:13:28 July 8, 2009 07:13:28

Among other things. Ever heard of a movie called The Hangover? It’s this summer’s smash comedy, has grossed so far in excess of $200 million. That’s all. According to Us Weekly, the part played by Heather Graham (a stripper) was initially offered to Lindsay Lohan by director Todd Phillips. Full Story