Dumbass Articles

Celebrity bad decisions, mistakes, and Hollywood stupidity.

GOOPy’s one “fat” friend

April 23, 2009 08:02:23 Posted at April 23, 2009 08:02:23
Lainey Posted by Lainey

It’s Mario Batali. They went to Spain together and he claims she eats a lot of his food. No doubt, Mario is heavy. And you know the GOOP. Being heavy is unacceptable. Reports Page Six:"Mario is the only fat friend she has, and wants him to change. Full Story

Lilo on Ellen

April 23, 2009 06:41:00 Posted at April 23, 2009 06:41:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Her interview airs today, was taped yesterday. Here she is with Ali on her way there. Ellen Degeneres, as you would expect, was very sympathetic, having been through her own public breakup with Anne Heche several years ago. A few snippets have been released prior to the show – not a bad PR move for someone who has nothing to promote, and an entire to career to salvage. Full Story

She’s fallen and she can’t give up the gym

April 21, 2009 08:56:06 Posted at April 21, 2009 08:56:06
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Hell no. Healing time is less important than staying thin. Who? Madonna, of course. Madge’s trainer, Tracy Anderson – the one who’s opening a gym in New York with Gwyneth Paltrow but they can’t find members – showed up at the Smart Cookie Awards the other night and told People.com Full Story

No Chicken Fried for a Good Christian

April 16, 2009 14:26:20 Posted at April 16, 2009 14:26:20
Lainey Posted by Lainey

It’s my favourite quote of the week. Chicken Fried Britney is supposedly carrying on with one of her dancers. He’s hot. His name is Chase. For me it was between Chase, Justin, and George but Darren wanted Chase and a good hag is a giver. Britney probably wouldn’t be so generous. Her father hates the fact that she’s been flirting so hard with him. Full Story

Little Edie for a year

April 13, 2009 10:05:00 Posted at April 13, 2009 10:05:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Something like that. Drew Barrymore claims she got all method and sh-t to play Little Edie in HBO’s Grey Gardens premiering on Saturday. Am watching the screener tonight. So nervous. Hope it doesn’t suck… Anyway, this is Drew working her Little Edie in New York today to sell it on the talk show circuit. Full Story

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Porny emerges cruise-bound

April 13, 2009 07:13:04 Posted at April 13, 2009 07:13:04
Lainey Posted by Lainey

She’s maintained a very low profile since completing her country tour. But with the confirmation last week that she’d been dumped by her country label, yet another Fail notch on her Fail Bait, it was time to show face and stick her chin up and out. Never let them know you’re down. Which is why Papa Joe dragged Porny’s ass out to Beso the other night for a family dinner. Full Story

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Own your own GOOP!

April 9, 2009 09:44:45 Posted at April 9, 2009 09:44:45
Lainey Posted by Lainey

It’s Thursday GOOP Day! And this time – thankfully – it’s not about recipes or raising children. This week, it’s about clothes! Click here for the latest newsletter. Gwyneth Paltrow’s spring recommendations. Full Story

Chicken Fried in Vancouver

April 9, 2009 07:21:34 Posted at April 9, 2009 07:21:34
Lainey Posted by Lainey

By now I’m sure you’ve heard – Britney Spears stopped the Circus last night for more than half an hour claiming it was too “smoky”. This from a bitch who smokes in front of her kids. It was, for real, the best part of the concert. You know for the smut factor. Our theories about what she was doing, or not doing, and who might be nailing her, or what they were getting for her at Starbucks, or who had to finally threaten her with a lawsuit, all of it was so much more entertaining than her performance. Full Story

Chicken Fried Cock Out

April 8, 2009 09:18:01 Posted at April 8, 2009 09:18:01
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Maybe it won’t be boring after all… It’s never boring when they keep her mic on. She doesn’t f-cking sing! And she doesn’t really address the crowd either! So why do they ever leave her mic on? No matter. We always benefit when her mic is on. During Juno Weekend was I was obsessed with trying to turn “My Pussy’s Hangin’ Out” into my ringtone. Full Story

Lilo Boo Hoo

April 8, 2009 06:55:53 Posted at April 8, 2009 06:55:53
Lainey Posted by Lainey

No lover, no friends, no career…what’s the solution? Call up Us Weekly. Lindsay Lohan is now officially lower than Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt, admitting to getting dumped on the cover of a tabloid, crying about having no friends… I AM SO ALONE. This is what she’s telling Janice Min – that she’s in “absolute hell” after getting dumped by Samantha Ronson, and that last Friday was the “worst night of my life” when she was banned from a Ronson party and spent the night staying at the Chateau Marmont one floor above the Ronson family. Full Story

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Country Asskisser

April 7, 2009 10:29:32 Posted at April 7, 2009 10:29:32
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Someone emailed me the other day along the lines of: Lainey, if Carrie Underwood is a bitch and you love bitches than why do you hate Carrie Underwood? Why? Because she’s a fraud. A sweet and sugar on the outside, poison flowing on the inside fraud. Ask those she’s cussed out and dismissed. Full Story