Dumbass Articles

Celebrity bad decisions, mistakes, and Hollywood stupidity.

Le Karl losing his touch?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 12, 2009 12:29:54 June 12, 2009 12:29:54

There was a rumour circulating last week that Karl Lagerfeld was being replaced at Chanel. Obviously a major development. The rumour was swiftly debunked. Karl is still perched in place… But at 75, maybe Karl – blasphemy! – is losing his touch? It’s not possible. Full Story

GOOPy calls him William

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 11, 2009 11:02:00 June 11, 2009 11:02:00

It’s Thursday. It’s GOOP day! Unfortunately this week’s GOOP is all about recipes. Cookie recipes. Boring. Also unfortunate, for her that is, careless staff. At the bottom of the newsletter that was sent out, you’ll note they’re still waiting for next week’s copy. And this is not the first time. Full Story

Dumb & Indignant

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 10, 2009 07:14:17 June 10, 2009 07:14:17

A terrible combination. So you’ve heard about what the Alba Demon did in Oklahoma City, right? Stupid bitch gleefully slapped shark posters all over the place – posters with no text, no explanation, in the hopes that somehow this would raise awareness about …the great white shark population? Their mating habits? That they’re overhunted by greedy Asians? We don’t know! Because it doesn’t say! The worst part though is that it turns out that the Demon used one of the posters to partially cover a United Way billboard. Full Story

Chris Pine bails out

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 3, 2009 17:35:08 June 3, 2009 17:35:08

He was universally ridiculed when word leaked that he was dating Audrina Patridge. Kinda like John Mayer and Jessica Simpson… only worse. Which is why he shamefacedly skipped the carpet at the Movie Awards on Sunday. ShameFace is the worst with cameras around. And now Hollyscoop Full Story

All Hills look the same

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 1, 2009 07:17:08 June 1, 2009 07:17:08

Viewership for The Hills has been steadily declining. Maybe it’s because they’re full of plastic sh-t. Maybe it’s because they’re all starting to look the same. California girls. Now that Audrina Patridge has lightened her hair, they’re all becoming one giant blonde Hill: long wavy hair, tanned, leggy, dumb. Full Story

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Porny makes it pay

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 27, 2009 12:25:14 May 27, 2009 12:25:14

It’s the Papa Joe way! Profit from EVERYTHING. And why not? Sounds like Porny Simpson is going back to reality where she saw the most success. On the heels of the amazing photos of her singing at the Chilli Country Cook Off wearing the best pants ever, Us Weekly is reporting  Full Story

FNL > J&K+8

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 26, 2009 20:01:58 May 26, 2009 20:01:58

Ugh. Almost 10 million watched that f-ckery Jon & Kate can’t afford to support all their babies so they exploit them on tv show last night. 10 MILLION. This morning I was on The John Gormley Show (he’s adorable and I love him) and he got me on this rant about J&K and I was like, dude, I’m a gossip columnist. Full Story

He doesn’t ask for much

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 21, 2009 09:01:24 May 21, 2009 09:01:24

Just a set of fake cans. Long legs to wrap around his waist. And nothing in the way of conversation. Makes sense. After all, wouldn’t call Chris Pine the most cerebral of stars. And he’s in no danger of earning that reputation now, especially since, according to the new issue of Us Weekly, he’s dating Audrina Patridge. Full Story

Kevin Federline > Lindsay Lohan

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 11, 2009 13:02:56 May 11, 2009 13:02:56

Lilo and her mother keep insisting that she “works so hard”. At what? It’s a mystery. This is Lindsay with her homeschooled in other words no-schooled sister out shopping the other day. What else do they do? Movies? No movies. Lilo claims there’s a movie planned but so far, everyone else is making movies except for her. Full Story

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Fence sitting Brooke

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 11, 2009 12:10:00 May 11, 2009 12:10:00

Last week, after Kiefer Sutherland decided to smash his head up against another dude’s face causing injury – in defence of Brooke Shields – a statement was released on her behalf that effectively sold him out. At the time, she supposedly announced via her publicists that she’d no idea why Kiefer would have reacted that way and that Jack McCollough, the victim of the headbutt, did nothing wrong. Full Story

Style > Sight

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 11, 2009 10:09:31 May 11, 2009 10:09:31

It’s Vanessa Hudgens at the Diesel men’s fragrance launch the other night in LA. Still have no idea what we’re supposed to do with her. Now also have no idea how she sees. Am old. Don’t understand the kids these days. Have a look at Vanessa’s thick fringe covering her eyes. Full Story