Dumbass Articles

Celebrity bad decisions, mistakes, and Hollywood stupidity.

Lilo Boo Hoo

Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 8, 2009 06:55:53 April 8, 2009 06:55:53

No lover, no friends, no career…what’s the solution? Call up Us Weekly. Lindsay Lohan is now officially lower than Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt, admitting to getting dumped on the cover of a tabloid, crying about having no friends… I AM SO ALONE. This is what she’s telling Janice Min – that she’s in “absolute hell” after getting dumped by Samantha Ronson, and that last Friday was the “worst night of my life” when she was banned from a Ronson party and spent the night staying at the Chateau Marmont one floor above the Ronson family. Full Story

View All 9 Photos

Country Asskisser

Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 7, 2009 10:29:32 April 7, 2009 10:29:32

Someone emailed me the other day along the lines of: Lainey, if Carrie Underwood is a bitch and you love bitches than why do you hate Carrie Underwood? Why? Because she’s a fraud. A sweet and sugar on the outside, poison flowing on the inside fraud. Ask those she’s cussed out and dismissed. Full Story

Give this man the Pulitzer

Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 6, 2009 11:34:56 April 6, 2009 11:34:56

He deserves it. You didn’t give a sh*t when it was reported that Mickey Rourke was nailing Bai Ling. But her publicist has taken it upon himself to clear up the rumours, like we’re talking about the Brange. Not only that, he’s written a f-cking masterpiece Full Story

ACM fussy bitch

Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 6, 2009 06:37:13 April 6, 2009 06:37:13

Last night at the Academy of Country Music Awards, Tim McGraw was scheduled to perform but bailed at the 11th hour over what was called by his publicists a “major disagreement” with the show’s producers. Ew.com is reporting Full Story

Where was your mother last night?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 3, 2009 07:45:09 April 3, 2009 07:45:09

My mother was at home. She’s been at home for 2 days recovering from surgery, driving us crazy. My dad in particular. Because he’s there. At least with me, I have the phone as a buffer. Recovery means no casino. Recovery also means no mahjong. No casino and no mahjong means she’s bored. Full Story

View All 8 Photos

ShoWest gives it away

Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 3, 2009 06:50:00 April 3, 2009 06:50:00

Last night in Vegas at the closing gala, it was like they gave out awards for simply showing up. How else can you explain why Audrina fecking Partridge took home a trophy??? And my Rumey too. And you know me. I am a Rumer Willis apologist. And she did look great. But calling her, along with Audrina, and 4 other tarts from a movie called Sorority Row (!!!), the Female Stars of Tomorrow is a slap in the face to someone like Rachel McAdams who was named Female Star of the Year (more on Rachel later). Full Story

View All 16 Photos

LipGloss ruined my tuna sub

Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 2, 2009 11:41:01 April 2, 2009 11:41:01

Was halfway through my tuna sub. Starving. On honey oat with mozzarella cheese, green peppers, tomatoes, cukes, black olives, pickles, and mustard, pepper no salt. Yum. Until this… LipGloss Zac Efron’s wax figure unveiling at Madame Tussaud’s today surrounded by tweens hoping it’ll come to life. Full Story

View All 13 Photos

Violence is wrong

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 30, 2009 14:35:11 March 30, 2009 14:35:11

Of course it is. I know this. Totally. But don’t lie. Don’t lie because I won’t believe you. You, like me, you want to punch her, don’t you? In the mouth. A punch in her beat-me mouth, I know you want to. Doesn’t mean you WILL but it doesn’t change the fact that you WANT to. Full Story

Smut Math

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 27, 2009 12:55:06 March 27, 2009 12:55:06

A problem to solve. Or a problem with no answer? Please explain to me... Who or what is the target clientele for David Arquette’s new clothing line propr? It launched at Kitson last night. KITSON! Where random items are tossed in bins and sold for $500! So that’s his price point??? Just. Full Story

No Situation for a year and a day

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 27, 2009 11:59:44 March 27, 2009 11:59:44

I know... He says stupid sh-t and does stupid sh-t and he’s isn’t always the best example but I’m not calling him a role model, I’m just saying he’s hot and T.I. has been sentenced to prison for a year and a day on illegal weapons charges although he says if you don’t understand his situation – not to be confused with his Situation – don’t judge him for trying to buy a machine gun. Full Story

Bey… please!

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 26, 2009 06:51:45 March 26, 2009 06:51:45

Remember these photos? Taken a few weeks ago, Beyonce on the set of a new concert video in a Thierry Mugler gown – not the most flattering. We all know, B has a crazy body. But even the craziest bodies can be disrespected by poor choices. Still…she’s looked worse. Whenever her mother dresses her she looks worse. Full Story