Dumbass Articles

Celebrity bad decisions, mistakes, and Hollywood stupidity.

Little Edie for a year

Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 13, 2009 10:05:00 April 13, 2009 10:05:00

Something like that. Drew Barrymore claims she got all method and sh-t to play Little Edie in HBO’s Grey Gardens premiering on Saturday. Am watching the screener tonight. So nervous. Hope it doesn’t suck… Anyway, this is Drew working her Little Edie in New York today to sell it on the talk show circuit. Full Story

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Porny emerges cruise-bound

Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 13, 2009 07:13:04 April 13, 2009 07:13:04

She’s maintained a very low profile since completing her country tour. But with the confirmation last week that she’d been dumped by her country label, yet another Fail notch on her Fail Bait, it was time to show face and stick her chin up and out. Never let them know you’re down. Which is why Papa Joe dragged Porny’s ass out to Beso the other night for a family dinner. Full Story

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Own your own GOOP!

Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 9, 2009 09:44:45 April 9, 2009 09:44:45

It’s Thursday GOOP Day! And this time – thankfully – it’s not about recipes or raising children. This week, it’s about clothes! Click here for the latest newsletter. Gwyneth Paltrow’s spring recommendations. Full Story

Chicken Fried in Vancouver

Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 9, 2009 07:21:34 April 9, 2009 07:21:34

By now I’m sure you’ve heard – Britney Spears stopped the Circus last night for more than half an hour claiming it was too “smoky”. This from a bitch who smokes in front of her kids. It was, for real, the best part of the concert. You know for the smut factor. Our theories about what she was doing, or not doing, and who might be nailing her, or what they were getting for her at Starbucks, or who had to finally threaten her with a lawsuit, all of it was so much more entertaining than her performance. Full Story

Chicken Fried Cock Out

Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 8, 2009 09:18:01 April 8, 2009 09:18:01

Maybe it won’t be boring after all… It’s never boring when they keep her mic on. She doesn’t f-cking sing! And she doesn’t really address the crowd either! So why do they ever leave her mic on? No matter. We always benefit when her mic is on. During Juno Weekend was I was obsessed with trying to turn “My Pussy’s Hangin’ Out” into my ringtone. Full Story

Lilo Boo Hoo

Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 8, 2009 06:55:53 April 8, 2009 06:55:53

No lover, no friends, no career…what’s the solution? Call up Us Weekly. Lindsay Lohan is now officially lower than Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt, admitting to getting dumped on the cover of a tabloid, crying about having no friends… I AM SO ALONE. This is what she’s telling Janice Min – that she’s in “absolute hell” after getting dumped by Samantha Ronson, and that last Friday was the “worst night of my life” when she was banned from a Ronson party and spent the night staying at the Chateau Marmont one floor above the Ronson family. Full Story

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Country Asskisser

Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 7, 2009 10:29:32 April 7, 2009 10:29:32

Someone emailed me the other day along the lines of: Lainey, if Carrie Underwood is a bitch and you love bitches than why do you hate Carrie Underwood? Why? Because she’s a fraud. A sweet and sugar on the outside, poison flowing on the inside fraud. Ask those she’s cussed out and dismissed. Full Story

Give this man the Pulitzer

Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 6, 2009 11:34:56 April 6, 2009 11:34:56

He deserves it. You didn’t give a sh*t when it was reported that Mickey Rourke was nailing Bai Ling. But her publicist has taken it upon himself to clear up the rumours, like we’re talking about the Brange. Not only that, he’s written a f-cking masterpiece Full Story

ACM fussy bitch

Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 6, 2009 06:37:13 April 6, 2009 06:37:13

Last night at the Academy of Country Music Awards, Tim McGraw was scheduled to perform but bailed at the 11th hour over what was called by his publicists a “major disagreement” with the show’s producers. Ew.com is reporting Full Story

Where was your mother last night?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 3, 2009 07:45:09 April 3, 2009 07:45:09

My mother was at home. She’s been at home for 2 days recovering from surgery, driving us crazy. My dad in particular. Because he’s there. At least with me, I have the phone as a buffer. Recovery means no casino. Recovery also means no mahjong. No casino and no mahjong means she’s bored. Full Story

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ShoWest gives it away

Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 3, 2009 06:50:00 April 3, 2009 06:50:00

Last night in Vegas at the closing gala, it was like they gave out awards for simply showing up. How else can you explain why Audrina fecking Partridge took home a trophy??? And my Rumey too. And you know me. I am a Rumer Willis apologist. And she did look great. But calling her, along with Audrina, and 4 other tarts from a movie called Sorority Row (!!!), the Female Stars of Tomorrow is a slap in the face to someone like Rachel McAdams who was named Female Star of the Year (more on Rachel later). Full Story

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