Dumbass Articles

Celebrity bad decisions, mistakes, and Hollywood stupidity.

Country Bitch through security

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 18, 2009 15:32:07 March 18, 2009 15:32:07

If I ever went through airport screening with my shades on, some security bitch would have my ass on the ground with my knees behind my back faster than you can say Carrie Underwood has an attitude problem. Celebrities have it so easy. Carrie Underwood absolutely can’t go through security without her sunglasses on, hell no. Full Story

Movie Star is still a bitch

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 17, 2009 11:43:00 March 17, 2009 11:43:00

Oh goody. It’s way more fun when the truly famous stars are the bitches. Last night, Julia Roberts and that sexy, sexy, SEXY fine ass beast Clive Owen were in New York for the premiere of Duplicity. Roger Friedman was on the press line, was angling to speak with her. Full Story

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GOOPy’s low membership

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 16, 2009 08:47:35 March 16, 2009 08:47:35

GOOP subscription is doing very well – and many of you can vouch for this. Gwyneth Paltrow’s other project, however, is reportedly not thriving. At all. As you know, G is opening a gym in New York with her trainer Tracy Anderson –the woman responsible for “revolutionising” her body, and Madonna’s too – with the promise that ordinary civilians can also get Gwyneth’s gams for the bargain price of $4,500 (initiation) and several hundred dollars a month. Full Story

Twilight: so long…for now

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 13, 2009 17:10:00 March 13, 2009 17:10:00

It was a week of pre-production: photo shoots, rehearsals, costume, camera work, meetings, whatever it is that actors do… Last night several cast members went out for dinner including Kristen Stewart and of course Nikki Reed, Jackson Rathbone, and Rachelle Lefevre and Edi Gathegi. Robert Pattinson was not with them. Full Story

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Friday Night Bentley

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 13, 2009 14:28:43 March 13, 2009 14:28:43

Ugh. Size 2 Jennifer Love Hewitt today showing off her new Bentley. “Love” as they call her is the star of a show called Ghost Whisperer that airs on Friday Nights, a modest ratings winner on a night that’s hard to win. For several seasons now. Ghost Whisperer. They watch Ghost Whisperer. Full Story

GOOPy gladiator booties

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 13, 2009 07:42:00 March 13, 2009 07:42:00

Last year around this time, my Gwyneth started rocking every Iron Man red carpet in 6 inch crazy heels. Soon after they started selling out everywhere. She’s since been credited with making them the Must. GOOPy has a shoe thing. Today in London, wearing a black trench and bare legs, G stepped out in a brand new pair of nude gladiator booties with … a built-in sock? Definitely not for the MiniVan, hell no. Full Story

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Shrek drive fast car

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 13, 2009 07:22:58 March 13, 2009 07:22:58

Q: why do they keep making these movies?A: Paul Walker has no career otherwise. Same goes for Vin Diesel. Unless he wants to star in the live action version of Shrek. Because these are his only two options: 1. Driving fast and grunting or 2. Painting himself green and hanging out with Donkey. Q: why do they keep watching these movies???A: good taste is dead. Full Story

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Is that the only reason?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 11, 2009 08:46:08 March 11, 2009 08:46:08

JailBait Miley Cyrus is currently on some kind of promotional tour – book, movie, virginity – and was on the radio yesterday with Detroit’s Mojo in the Morning on WKQI when she was asked when she and that f-cking 20 year old loser she’s dating Justin Gaston are moving in together. Full Story

Princess AssTalk = Clooney?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 10, 2009 07:48:56 March 10, 2009 07:48:56

Bitch… please. As if. I don’t watch Grey’s Anatomy anymore because Denny died. Like 3 years ago. But Denny won’t go away. Ugh. SPOILER ALERT – For those of you who are still gnashing your teeth through the sh-t at Seattle Grace however you’re probably aware that Izzie is sick or something. Full Story

Midlife Madonna designs for douches

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 6, 2009 07:33:44 March 6, 2009 07:33:44

You know I love her. And I will defend her to the end. Almost the end. Against Guy Ritchie’s leaks, against the misogyny of the UK papers, I will defend her right to show off her body, to date younger as long as its legal, Madge and I we disagree over her obsessive workout regimen and what she does to her face but for the most part, I am a follower. Full Story

You wish bitch

Lainey Posted by Lainey at March 4, 2009 11:35:55 March 4, 2009 11:35:55

Glamour Magazine this month is all about American icons. This is why Sheila Weller tried to convince us that Katie Holmes would be one one day. Dumb. But that’s only the beginning of the blasphemy. Full Story