Dumbass Articles

Celebrity bad decisions, mistakes, and Hollywood stupidity.

The Best Kind of Apology

February 10, 2009 11:17:18 Posted at February 10, 2009 11:17:18
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Take two. JailBait was told by Disney after pressure from Asian advocacy groups to rewrite her apology because the first time wasn’t good enough. In this climate, no one wants to piss off investors. It always comes down to money, non? So anyway, Miley Cyrus posted another message on her blog: "I want to thank all of my fans for their support not only this week, but always! I really wanted to stress how sorry I am if the photo of me with my friends offended anyone. Full Story

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They don’t read, they can’t write

February 5, 2009 11:22:25 Posted at February 5, 2009 11:22:25
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Many of you have emailed for reaction re: this photo of JailBail Miley Cyrus making slanty Asian eyes with her friends. Her birth name was Destiny Hope and she was raised by a hillbilly and pimped out to Hollywood – what did you expect? Ignorant dumbass. While we’re on the subject though – sort of – can we go back to the news anchors and journalists who are incapable of saying an “ethnic” sounding name like Blagojevich? He recently compared himself to Mandela and Ghandi. Full Story

I love you all over again

February 3, 2009 08:04:31 Posted at February 3, 2009 08:04:31
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Hate the Gwyneth who’s sickly sweet and MiniVan sucky. Love the Gwyneth who doesn’t give a sh-t that you hate her because she knows that your hate means she still matters. Worship the Gwyneth who believes she’s better than you and looks for every opportunity to prove it. Yesterday I posted the cover of the March issue of UK Elle. Full Story

Keep the shoes on

January 30, 2009 06:38:36 Posted at January 30, 2009 06:38:36
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Still tacky as sh-t but definitely an improvement on her diaper jeans from the chili fair – this is Porny performing in Charlottesville, Virginia yesterday in leather pants and a black blazer. But then she took her shoes off. And the sight of a woman, in leather pants and bare feet…it’s just so low classy, non? It’s just so f-cking base. Full Story

Please.Make.Her.Stop

January 28, 2009 15:08:02 Posted at January 28, 2009 15:08:02
Lainey Posted by Lainey

No.NO.NOOOOOOOOOOOO. F-cking Scarlett Johansson. Yeah. Her. Like it wasn’t enough that she put out a Tom Waits cover album last year. Now…now she’s covering Jeff Buckley. I just… I can’t… Am not being facetious, this made me want to cry. And I’m not a weeper. Full Story

Size 2 is everywhere

January 28, 2009 13:15:34 Posted at January 28, 2009 13:15:34
Lainey Posted by Lainey

This Porny Simpson business… As you know, these photos have made headlines everywhere. Like if the Brange hadn’t come along to show off the family in Tokyo, Porny’s pictures would have been the top story all week long. But no one beats the Brange. For the record, in the original article here posted on Monday, I wrote very clearly that “Jessica Simpson has a lovely body. Full Story

Punk ass demode

January 27, 2009 13:36:05 Posted at January 27, 2009 13:36:05
Lainey Posted by Lainey

It’s Avril Lavigne, punk ass little bitch in perpetuity, on set of a photo shoot yesterday appealing to 14 year olds. Avril is now 24. And this is her curse. She has not evolved with her fan base. Even Britney has evolved with her fan base. Or vice versa. Britney’s fan base aged with her, they followed her. Full Story

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Michael Cera sucks

January 26, 2009 11:59:33 Posted at January 26, 2009 11:59:33
Lainey Posted by Lainey

And there is no pleasure in saying this. Because he’s supposed to be a sweet kid…when he’s not flailing his ego about and pissing on the movie version of the tv show that made him. But it’s true. Michael Cera’s Paper Heart ate it at Sundance. Touted as one of the most highly anticipated films at the film festival, Paper Heart ended up falling flat. Full Story

Listening Michael Cera?

January 22, 2009 06:46:00 Posted at January 22, 2009 06:46:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Multiple sources are reporting that George Clooney, no longer ungrateful, is indeed returning to ER to commemorate the show’s final season. According to People George will shoot his scenes on a closed set – word is it’s happening today and tomorrow – though no official confirmation has been provided. Full Story

Ugh. Why?

January 22, 2009 06:32:50 Posted at January 22, 2009 06:32:50
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Apparently there will be a sequel. Another Sex & the City movie. Us Weekly is reporting that while contracts have yet to be signed, it’s simply a formality – for all intents and purposes, all four women are on board, and have accepted their financial deals, with each earning pay raises to come back. Full Story

Alba & Ebola

January 21, 2009 12:46:19 Posted at January 21, 2009 12:46:19
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Oscar nominations are to be announced early tomorrow morning. And I’ll be putting out a sex tape with Colin Farrell (yeah Duana, come and get it) before Jessica Alba and Ebola Hilton hear their names announced by the Academy. They do however share a dubious distinction. Both the Alba Cow and Ebola have been nominated for Razzies – in other words, they starred in the WORST films of the year. Full Story