Dumbass Articles

Celebrity bad decisions, mistakes, and Hollywood stupidity.

Snort coke in moderation

January 7, 2009 11:58:13 Posted at January 7, 2009 11:58:13
Lainey Posted by Lainey

This is apparently Lily Allen’s message about cocaine. In a new interview, Lily – who is tight with Lindsay Lohan – believes that people are overreacting when they criticise cocaine use. According to Lily, using cocaine doesn’t necessarily result in the total sh-ts and that it’s all about the fortitude of the user, like if you become an addict, you simply have no game. Full Story

GOOP is fat!

January 6, 2009 09:15:27 Posted at January 6, 2009 09:15:27
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Are you crusty today? Post holiday blues? If so, my Gwyneth is about to piss you off. Be warned. Or maybe that’s a good thing. You know you love to hate her. So she’s released her first GOOPy newsletter of the year – this time about detoxing. And she opens by telling you that she, Gwyneth Paltrow, with her own personal gym and dance studio, with her own personal trainer, with 2 hours a day dedicated to working out got fat over Christmas and needs to work on purging the Christmas weight. Full Story

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NYE Waste of Money

January 1, 2009 11:34:52 Posted at January 1, 2009 11:34:52
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Denise Richards and Lance Bass co-hosted a party at Prive Planet Hollywood in Vegas. Like, who would hire Denise Richards? And… who would actually GO to an event hosted by Denise Richards??? I would rather grab takeout at McDonalds – quarter with cheese, supersized fries, AND a filet fish to wash it all down – in my jammies, with greasy hair and a face full of pimples, and wine dispensed from a spout on a box than waste a good dress and an even better pair of shoes ringing in the new year with Denise Richards. Full Story

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Worst of 2008: Beefcake Bachelor

December 29, 2008 09:55:00 Posted at December 29, 2008 09:55:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

In June People Magazine named Mario Lopez its Hottest Bachelor. So much to choose from and … Mario Lopez? Him? Ew! Of course he milked every last drop out of that sh-t, even posing with his own centrefold for the paps. He also recreated Brad Pitt’s infamous scene from Thelma & Louise. Full Story

Best of 2008: Prunes!

December 23, 2008 09:22:00 Posted at December 23, 2008 09:22:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

The secret behind those enigmatic half smile/half grimaces? We found out this year … It’s prunes! “Every time they pose and smile, they say the word ‘prune’.” Who knew? That prunes are good for more than just poo? Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen figured it out – this is why they’re always so puckered. Full Story

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What??? No.

December 17, 2008 15:49:17 Posted at December 17, 2008 15:49:17
Lainey Posted by Lainey

The UK Sun is reporting that Eddie Murphy is confirmed to play The Riddler in the next Batman movie helmed by Christopher Nolan even though Nolan himself recently said that he’s yet to even see a script. Full Story

Dunder Alba Demon

December 16, 2008 17:23:29 Posted at December 16, 2008 17:23:29
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Ausiello is reporting that along with Jack Black, The Office has secured Jessica Alba for an appearance on the episode of The Office that will air immediately following the Super Bowl. The Alba Demon is coming back to TV! Where she belongs! Great move by her agent. Full Story

Demure Scarlett stands for peace

December 11, 2008 08:54:11 Posted at December 11, 2008 08:54:11
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Scarjo attended the 2008 Nobel Peace Prize concert press conference today in Oslo alongside Michael Caine and, in keeping with her recent wifely trend, looked demure and serious and, as always, totally gorgeous. She’s only 2 years older than Lindsay Lohan. Still I can’t imagine Lindsay Lohan like Scarlett Johansson in two years. Full Story

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Smile for America

December 10, 2008 08:47:51 Posted at December 10, 2008 08:47:51
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Shenae Grimes returned home to Canada last week for the Gemini Awards and reportedly acted like a massive twat towards the local media, apparently insisting that they were beneath her newly acquired and imagined elevated stature. Full Story

More profundity from a douchebag groupie

December 9, 2008 14:36:11 Posted at December 9, 2008 14:36:11
Lainey Posted by Lainey

The UK Daily Mirror is claiming an exclusive with Jennifer Aniston. Take with a grain of salt but let’s run with it for now… Because the profundity of her profoundness is just too good to ignore. Apparently she talks about John Mayer. No. Actually… She gushes about John Mayer. "He's a rare one. Full Story