Dumbass Articles

Celebrity bad decisions, mistakes, and Hollywood stupidity.

Alba B*tch is a bully

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 21, 2009 07:04:41 January 21, 2009 07:04:41

As you know, Jessica Alba is all, like, socially involved now, claiming to have actively campaigned among Latino voters for the Obama campaign, even though not even two years ago, she did not want to be called Latina. These days though, Alba has a new image to sell. She’s a mother, she an “actor”, she doesn’t want to be known as a “body”, not unless you pay her to star in your ad campaign for Campari. Full Story

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Sh-t on the sidewalk

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 19, 2009 06:42:32 January 19, 2009 06:42:32

Was at Sundance 2 years ago. It was super fun. Because, like all super fun trips, the company made the difference. Laura and I had the best time hating on the poseurs. No doubt, Sundance attracts major stars. Absolutely. But among all the film festivals, Sundance is also the worst for poseurs. Maybe it’s a geographical thing. Full Story

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Mom comes to help

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 15, 2009 16:26:00 January 15, 2009 16:26:00

Ben Affleck is on preschool pick up duty. Oh Violet. This child. I love her and I don’t even know her... which totally sounds f-cked up and creepy but that pretty much defines celebrity child obsession these days anyway. The Chosen One Shiloh Jolie-Pitt has more magazine covers than the entire cast of Friday Night Lights! As for adoring Violet… it’s just because she’s so happy. Full Story

Why him?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 15, 2009 08:57:52 January 15, 2009 08:57:52

It’s not like he’s the new Jack Nicholson. And he’s ass too look at so… Why Brendan Fraser? Don’t get it. It was announced yesterday that Fraser has been cast alongside Harrison Ford in a new medical movie based on Pulitzer prize winning book The Cure. Full Story

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Is this a man?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 14, 2009 07:30:39 January 14, 2009 07:30:39

Debatable. His name is Brian Austin Green. You know him better as David Silver. He spent most of the 90s making out with Tori Spelling…remember him? Oh yeah…him. Brian Austin Green is engaged to Megan Fox, a man in his 30s desperately hanging on to his young break out girl who is trying to cope with outgrowing him. Full Story

Ten months to go

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 13, 2009 06:55:31 January 13, 2009 06:55:31

Anne Hathaway was on the January cover, now Blake Lively has been chosen for February… Victoria Beckham only has 10 more tries this year for US Vogue. Oh shame. Blake Lively > Victoria Beckham? Indeed. Blake Lively who? Exactly! Any self respecting fan of Gossip Girl knows this is an unworthy choice. Full Story

The Shame

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 8, 2009 08:49:37 January 8, 2009 08:49:37

If not for the fact that she broke my arm, I’d actually feel embarrassed for her. But as it happens she was too busy being stupid to do her job, she wasted my time, and since there are now pins in my arm holding together my elbow, embarrassment is a sentiment I’ll reserve for someone who actually deserves it. Full Story

Snort coke in moderation

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 7, 2009 11:58:13 January 7, 2009 11:58:13

This is apparently Lily Allen’s message about cocaine. In a new interview, Lily – who is tight with Lindsay Lohan – believes that people are overreacting when they criticise cocaine use. According to Lily, using cocaine doesn’t necessarily result in the total sh-ts and that it’s all about the fortitude of the user, like if you become an addict, you simply have no game. Full Story

GOOP is fat!

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 6, 2009 09:15:27 January 6, 2009 09:15:27

Are you crusty today? Post holiday blues? If so, my Gwyneth is about to piss you off. Be warned. Or maybe that’s a good thing. You know you love to hate her. So she’s released her first GOOPy newsletter of the year – this time about detoxing. And she opens by telling you that she, Gwyneth Paltrow, with her own personal gym and dance studio, with her own personal trainer, with 2 hours a day dedicated to working out got fat over Christmas and needs to work on purging the Christmas weight. Full Story

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NYE Waste of Money

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 1, 2009 11:34:52 January 1, 2009 11:34:52

Denise Richards and Lance Bass co-hosted a party at Prive Planet Hollywood in Vegas. Like, who would hire Denise Richards? And… who would actually GO to an event hosted by Denise Richards??? I would rather grab takeout at McDonalds – quarter with cheese, supersized fries, AND a filet fish to wash it all down – in my jammies, with greasy hair and a face full of pimples, and wine dispensed from a spout on a box than waste a good dress and an even better pair of shoes ringing in the new year with Denise Richards. Full Story

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Worst of 2008: Beefcake Bachelor

Lainey Posted by Lainey at December 29, 2008 09:55:00 December 29, 2008 09:55:00

In June People Magazine named Mario Lopez its Hottest Bachelor. So much to choose from and … Mario Lopez? Him? Ew! Of course he milked every last drop out of that sh-t, even posing with his own centrefold for the paps. He also recreated Brad Pitt’s infamous scene from Thelma & Louise. Full Story