Dumbass Articles

Celebrity bad decisions, mistakes, and Hollywood stupidity.

Deciphering Jessica Simpson

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 31, 2008 11:29:00 July 31, 2008 11:29:00

The effort is there...but so is the cheese. Granted, it’s over the top corny and I’m the bitch who’s dead inside. So most of the time, as soon as I hear the words “cherish” and “heart” in the same sentence, it’s an excuse to head to the casino. Anything is an excuse to head to the casino. Full Story

The Ingrate: A History

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 23, 2008 06:46:52 June 23, 2008 06:46:52

The Princess of AssTalk wants off Grey’s Anatomy which is why she mouthed off a couple of weeks ago about the weakness of the writing, hiding her ulterior motives behind a pathetic attempt at “honour” to fleece the MiniVan Majority. You will note…People Magazine has still not reported on the story. Full Story

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Him? Really?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 18, 2008 07:11:00 June 18, 2008 07:11:00

People Magazine just named its Hottest Bachelor… Mario Lopez? Call me Cruise but I’m not into beefcakes and Chippendale’s dancers. Don’t like men who walk around in beaters. Not only am I not attracted to him, I actually find it kinda repulsive. Even more, I find it offensive. Full Story

Ingrate Goes on Holiday

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 16, 2008 07:56:59 June 16, 2008 07:56:59

The most ungrateful bitch in television packed up with her husband and headed for holiday in Cancun yesterday wearing her MiniVan Majority hairstyle and those unflattering white jeans. As you know, the Princess of AssTalk angered many last week when she publicly announced she’d withdrawn from Emmy nomination because in her opinion Grey’s Anatomy writers gave her sucky material to work with. Full Story

How’s This for Ungrateful?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 11, 2008 10:30:38 June 11, 2008 10:30:38

Katherine Heigl, our favourite sanctimonious bitch who can’t shut the f&ck up, has announced with great fanfare that she has taken her name out of the running for Emmy consideration. This is her statement: “I am truly grateful for the honor that the Academy bestowed upon me last year. Full Story

Bros Before Hos

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 10, 2008 07:53:08 June 10, 2008 07:53:08

Is that what they say? Duana was trying to remember the female equivalent last week. It came to her in the end: Chicks before dicks. But this is about Bromance… and Brody Jenner has just landed his own show on MTV Full Story

Don’t Call Him Diddy

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 9, 2008 11:19:00 June 9, 2008 11:19:00

Oh make up your f&cking mind!!! When I was 20, for some reason I had it in my head that my Chinese name was lame. I was playing a lot of mahjong back then, late night gambling sessions with the Hong Kong Hello Kitty crowd in university, listening to cantopop, learning karaoke, and getting a proper education on Fresh-Off-the-Boatness 101. Full Story