Dylan & Jon Hamm

May 17, 2011 07:21:39 Posted at May 17, 2011 07:21:39
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Yesterday's Jon Hamm article was written before the sunrise party on Sunday night/Monday morning. I added a quick PS on the fly before it was posted as I was heading out to shoot. Thanks for your e-mails asking for more information on how that all went down.

We were at the Hotel du Cap for the Art of Elysium/Vitamin Water event. Ryan Kavanaugh was being honoured and they were fundraising for disadvantaged kids. Jon Hamm arrived about two hours into it with Jennifer Westfeldt. They looked great together. She wore her gown really well. And she knew she had the man every other woman was into, aside from the model-y twats eager to hit up a producer/wanna producer and make it big in Hollywood. It's pedestrian here, that kind of situation. Beautiful woman, gross older man. The game I play with myself, that I introduced to our group that night, is called "Picture Him On Top Of You". It's self explanatory.

Look at that dude over there with the greased up hair and the chains around his neck, big talking with his bank account. Picture him on top of you. Could you? I can never. My mother says I was born an Ox. I am destined to Work. To Toil. Made for Hard Labour. The easy life will never be mine. The easier life might be to those who can Picture Him On Top Of You. I suppose we're all made differently.

Back to Jon - he spent time on the deck talking to Kirsten Dunst, was really sweet to Vanessa Hudgens who was wearing white and always had a glass of red wine in her hands. She'd taken off her shoes. Came up to his nipples. He spoke to her like a big brother. Was cute.

Funny thing is, on the way there, we were just talking about the No Approach Golden Rule. Just… don't. I mean you're there, it's a great night, they're passing around pastries, the most delicious desserts, you don't need to walk up to Celebrity X and tell him/her how much you love them. Or get a photo. Not there. It's gross. It's like sticking a marquee across your ass that says - I'm a fan and somehow scammed my way in here.

Earlier that day, Dylan had watched the SNL Ambiguously Gay Duo sketch. He loved it. Dylan is maybe the only person who can break the No Approach Golden Rule. Because with Dylan it's not really an approach. They, in fact, end up approaching him. Owen Wilson approached him last week. Click here if you missed that. Dylan doesn't give a sh-t about meeting celebrities. All he needs to know is the location of the beer. It's an energy people pick up on right away. Oh this is not a guy who's going to embarrass me with the gushing. So when Jon Hamm walked by Dylan, and they made eye contact, and Dylan told him to "come on my back", there was some kind of unspoken understanding - Jon knew Dylan was down. He chuckled - oh yeah, man, you saw that?

Dylan: yeah, that was the funniest sh-t on that show in a years. Did you write it?

Jon Hamm: No man, I wish. Those guys are brilliant.

Dylan: Smigel, right?

Jon Hamm: There's two - one guy does the sketches and blah blah (I was still laughing too hard at this point at the coming on my back part and had to retreat)

There were a couple more exchanges, then Dylan turned away, almost as though HE was the one done talking to Jon. I can't remember if there was a casual see you later man bump/hand slap that went down or if it was a nod of the head. The point is, they came in there on equal terms. And, ultimately, that's why the typical gushy fan encounter never works. Because from the moment you present yourself, you are automatically letting them know that you are the supplicant and they the bestower.

Later on we found Dylan giving a random French opera singer the full Dylan treatment. In his mind, no name Random French Opera Singer and Jon Hamm are totally the same. Also he's already split the ass in his new tuxedo pants that he had to buy just for this trip. So, you know, before you go thinking he's the sh-t and everything, there's also that.


Photos from Todd Oren/Gettyimages.com

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