Pattinson can’t shake Ebola

February 24, 2009 18:30:45 Posted at February 24, 2009 18:30:45
Lainey Posted by Lainey


Once you let it in the door, once her black hole vagina gets its tentacles latched, it won’t let go until there’s nothing left.

Robert Pattinson is in for a world of hurt.

As reported earlier – click here for a refresher – Rob spent an hour at a party with Ebola on Oscar night. Then he flew to Tokyo to promote Twilight.

Guess who’s also en route to Tokyo?

That’s right. Ebola Paris Hilton was spotted at LAX en route to Tokyo supposedly for some “business related appearances” this week…

You’ll note, it did bring its current boyfriend Doug Reinhardt along but this has been its back pocket strategy throughout its reign of terror. Ebola always has a Plan B just in case. But make no mistake, Ebola gets a lot more mileage being linked to Teen Beat’s current poster boy than some random you’ve never heard of. And please… save it. I don’t care about Doug Reinhardt. He’s dating Ebola. This is all I need to know.

So from LA to Tokyo, Rob and Ebola will find themselves just steps away from each other yet again.

Will it go looking for him?


It’s probably stalk texting him already, trying to arrange a hook up.

And for those of you, many of you, who emailed today to discuss the possibility that he might escape infection, that it was only “talking” they did on Sunday night, that Rob is immune to Ebola’s evils…

Stop deluding yourself. It’s pathetic.

He spent AN HOUR with a virus. It should have taken him 2 minutes to get tired of the stank, maybe another 3 to be polite about extricating himself, and another 5 to grab his people, call the car, and hustle the f-ck out of there.

Instead, he stayed. For more than SIXTY MINUTES he stayed. And they went to the GARDEN! ALONE!!!

There are no excuses. None.

You all need to move on. I will support you. I am here.

This is what Ebola looked like on Oscar night. And also more photos of Pattinson at the airport in Tokyo. Th eblonde lady with glasses walking behind him – that’s the one who had her arm looped around his last week at the Grey Goose party. See? Like an aunt right? Apparently it’s his agent.

That mouth is open again. Ebola’s mouth is open a lot too. Maybe they do have something in common.


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