Ebola Victims Articles

Anyone having come in contact with pre-irrelevance Paris Hilton.

Oscar Ebola Victim: Mickey Rourke

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 23, 2009 05:53:04 February 23, 2009 05:53:04

Loki could not save Mickey. Oh Loki. You saw it coming, didn’t you? Last Monday in New York, Mickey Rourke stumbles into Butter and it happens to be Ebola Paris Hilton’s birthday party. Instead of leaving, he sits down and celebrates with her… and suddenly his beloved dog Loki dies. Full Story

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Goodbye Loki

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 18, 2009 07:52:28 February 18, 2009 07:52:28

Oh Mickey Rourke. As you know, he adores his dogs. His Loki travelled everywhere with him. He was hoping for some Loki luck on Sunday. But Loki… Loki is gone. According to Rourke’s publicist, Loki passed on Monday night. Ummmmm…. Here’s what happened on Monday night: Mickey was in New York. Full Story

Joel matches Nicole

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 18, 2009 06:28:00 February 18, 2009 06:28:00

Nicole Richie and Joel Madden flew in to NY yesterday for Fashion Week – seen here arriving for the Diesel Show, Joel showing off a much lighter head. You likey? I likey. I likey lately Joel so hot. Overnight he got hot? No? I’m crazy? Yesterday also happened to be Ebola’s birthday. Full Story

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Will Front Row Ebola infect the Pip?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 17, 2009 07:22:50 February 17, 2009 07:22:50

Justin Timberlake is riding a winning wave – millions of albums sold, a successful businessman, a partnership with J Lindeberg for William Rast, respect among his peers, and only 28 years old. You could say then that Pipsqueak is invulnerable, a rare celebrity with no Achilles Heel. You also know however that where JT’s record of excellence is virtually perfect, so too is Hollywood Ebola Paris Hilton’s record of destruction. Full Story

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A survivor story

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 5, 2009 15:36:00 February 5, 2009 15:36:00

Recognise this boy? Boy now man? It’s Nick Carter. Yeah, Nick Carter. From the Backstreet Boys! Confession: remember when we had to pick sides? Backstreet vs N Sync? I picked Backstreet. I still can’t decide if this was right or wrong. Anyway, Nick Carter dated Ebola Hilton. It was a dramatic, volatile relationship. Full Story

How Ebola works

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 4, 2009 11:45:06 February 4, 2009 11:45:06

Ebola Hilton was in Tampa Bay for the Super Bowl. This is why Arizona lost. She was wearing a Larry Fitzgerald jersey. Poor Larry. He was powerless against infection. F-ck her! So Ebola was supposed to get on a flight the next morning back to LA to shoot images for her new fragrance. Like, who the F-CK IS BUYING HER FRAGRANCE? No, seriously, for reals. Full Story

Ricky hates Ebola and Posh!

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 2, 2009 12:04:37 February 2, 2009 12:04:37

Ricky Gervais should host the Oscars. Hugh will be wonderful. But next year, why not Ricky? Ricky’s irreverence would rip all of them, all the famewhores, each and every one, a new asshole…starting with Ebola and Posh. In an open letter to President Obama, Ricky writes: “As I'm sure you are aware, one of your flock has strayed. Full Story

Punk ass demode

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 27, 2009 13:36:05 January 27, 2009 13:36:05

It’s Avril Lavigne, punk ass little bitch in perpetuity, on set of a photo shoot yesterday appealing to 14 year olds. Avril is now 24. And this is her curse. She has not evolved with her fan base. Even Britney has evolved with her fan base. Or vice versa. Britney’s fan base aged with her, they followed her. Full Story

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I love you Kevin Huvane

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 14, 2009 12:30:58 January 14, 2009 12:30:58

He’s a super agent at CAA. And he’s trying to uphold Hollywood Hierarchy, especially during awards season. Kevin is also smart enough to not only stay away from Ebola Hilton infection but to try and REMOVE it from his environment. I love him. And for this reason, for today, he is #1 on the Freebie 5. Full Story

No entry for victims of Ebola

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 13, 2009 09:14:47 January 13, 2009 09:14:47

The Globes, the parties… Let’s start with Jared Leto. Jared Leto’s career died about a year ago after he was photographed kissing Hollywood Ebola Paris Hilton at Sundance. You can read its obituary here Full Story

Entourage Killer in Australia

Lainey Posted by Lainey at December 29, 2008 11:37:53 December 29, 2008 11:37:53

Ebola Hilton arrived in Melbourne the other day with its sister Nicky. Nicky also brought along her boyfriend David Katzenberg. Jeffrey Katzenberg raised a son who’d date a Hilton? Shame. Ebola and crew will next be heading to Sydney where it’s scheduled to host a NYE party and people are supposed to pay online if they want to watch like f-cking lame sh-ts from the comfort of their basements at their parents’ house. Full Story

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