Ebola Victims Articles

Anyone having come in contact with pre-irrelevance Paris Hilton.

Not a murderer, just a liar?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at September 19, 2008 07:09:00 September 19, 2008 07:09:00

Or both? Ebola’s people are insisting that there’s no truth to the reports yesterday that Ebola left two of her dogs out in the yard to die by coyote. She says the pups are alive and well, even though she herself can’t keep track of how many she has, where they are, and what they’re doing at any given time. Full Story

Excuse for murder

Lainey Posted by Lainey at September 18, 2008 09:18:07 September 18, 2008 09:18:07

X17 is reporting that two of Ebola’s dogs were killed because they were ambushed by a coyote in the middle of the night. Apparently this happens often in the hills. Full Story

Brenda vs Ebola

Lainey Posted by Lainey at September 15, 2008 13:51:40 September 15, 2008 13:51:40

It’s easy to forget this feud, especially since Ebola Hilton has feuded with everyone but back in the day, she and Shannen Doherty scrapped it out over – ew! – Rick Salomon. Do you remember? Shannen was married to Rick just before the sex tape with Ebola broke out. No one knows exactly the timeline when that sh*t went down but suffice to say, they overlapped in Rick’s bed and given Shannen’s mean streak and Ebola’s wickedness, the smut spilled over onto a red carpet, resulting in a supposed throw down at a party after Ebola allegedly kept crank calling Shannen, telling her that Rick didn’t want her anymore, and boasting that she’d bagged her man. Full Story

Virus Victims are Worthless

Lainey Posted by Lainey at September 2, 2008 07:01:14 September 2, 2008 07:01:14

It’s ok to love Entourage without loving Adrian Grenier. At this point, it’s actually a requirement. Because it’s now totally NOT ok to think of Adrian Grenier as anything but a douchebag. It all started a year ago, of course, when he first became infected with Hollywood Ebola. The effects of the disease are clearly irreversible, incurable. Full Story

Apple Friends and Enemies

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 15, 2008 07:33:44 August 15, 2008 07:33:44

A new Hollywood hotspot opened last night attracting all of Hollywood’s party players including Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson. Trouble? Not sure yet but all the ingredients were there including Calum Best, Lilo’s privileged douchebag of an ex boyfriend, Evan Ross, also a former fling, and Ebola Hilton who showed up with a push up bra and exposing her nasty ass extensions. Full Story

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Ronaldo avoids infection!

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 16, 2008 06:55:28 July 16, 2008 06:55:28

Football fans are rejoicing everywhere as Cristiano Ronaldo narrowly avoided Ebola Paris Hilton contamination last night at Villa. Could the most potent virus in Hollywood be weakening? Or will this rejection only make her more vicious? Fortunately for Ronaldo, he escaped unscathed Full Story

Ebola - HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!!!

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 9, 2008 05:46:03 June 9, 2008 05:46:03

It’s a day late but since I don’t post on weekends, pretend it’s June 8th and play along. Do you remember what happened a year ago? Do you remember the happiest, smuttiest, best day ever??? Do you remember laughing at your desk? Running with joy down the halls? High fiving your colleagues? It was a Friday, I think. Full Story

Another Maybe Gaybe Has a Baby

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 6, 2008 07:57:26 June 6, 2008 07:57:26

Vin Diesel has a girlfriend?!? Vin Diesel had a baby?!? Even more shocking… there are people who actually STILL care? Amazingly enough, yes…though these days it’s fewer and fewer. This is why he has to make yet another Fast and Furious movie. But if Ebola Paris Hilton can have fans, I suppose Vin Diesel can have fans too. Full Story

Shiloh Has Mercy

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 5, 2008 11:28:16 June 5, 2008 11:28:16

We asked…and we received. Hollywood was buzzing this morning after photos surfaced of Ebola Paris Hilton wearing a little bump after dinner last night. Given that she has been hellbent on spawning her disease, pregnancy speculation spread far and wide, not unlike her legs. A sigh of relief. Ebola’s rep has denied Full Story

Shiloh Have Mercy

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 5, 2008 06:35:52 June 5, 2008 06:35:52

Remember, this piece of sh*t never takes a picture without a purpose. So even if she isn’t pregnant, she certainly wants you thinking she is. Because pregnancy is the new craze. Nine months of attention and then a huge spotlight on an innocent child that she would no doubt mold into a virus even more destructive than she is. Full Story

The Thinnification of Colin Farrell

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 27, 2008 11:05:41 May 27, 2008 11:05:41

They say it’s for a movie role…but my smutty sense is tingling that it’s something more sinister. Smutty senses can be wrong. Let’s hope. This is Colin shooting a movie in Ireland, painfully thin. Look at his legs. Look how his eyes bulge. Suddenly I don’t want him for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Full Story