Even the bears hate Rossum
See? I’m not the only one who finds her sugar sh-t repellent. Turns out the Rossum is annoying across different species. Even bears.
Rossum attended the Wildlife Conservation Society Spring Gala in New York last night wearing, what else?, a white wedding dress and her sickly smile. NY Magazine asked her if she’d had any freaky experiences with animals. Of course. What did Emmy Rossum do when confronted by a bear?
She sang to it:
"When I was seven, I went to Alaska on vacation with my mom for a month and came this close to a bear. They had told me, if you ever see a bear in the wilderness, sing to it, because it somehow can identify that you're a human. Don't whistle because it will think you're a bird and it'll eat you. But if you sing to it, apparently, it's pacified and it walks away. So I sang 'Somewhere Over the Rainbow,' and it walked away. Did a little Judy Garland rendition and he sauntered off."
The Rossum is SO f-cking annoying it sucked away the bear’s will to live. Now I feel like locking myself in the bathroom at a Chinese restaurant and staring at the nasty ass toilets. Only Rossum makes me want to be that miserable.
So it’s time for a new round of Would You Rather Rossum. This one’s for you Douglas. You never let me down.
Would you rather:
Let Rossum, your FRIEND, sing to you every day for a year...
Listen to Miley Cyrus in the recording studio with NO autotune?
For those of you who are new to this, please remember, Would You Rather Rossum is the game of sh-t vs diarrhoea. You have to choose. Do you need a reminder of what Rossum singing sounds like? It’s the VOWELS. It’s the VOWELs that make me want to stab myself between the legs.