Rossum – would you rather???

October 24, 2007 00:00:00 Posted at October 24, 2007 00:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Just when you thought it couldn"t possibly get more revolting, Emmy outdoes even her own Rossum.

Attempting to pimp her sad excuse for a record Emmy puked her Rossum all over People the other day telling the magazine that she found the inspiration for her music in her own life… and while it’s certainly understandable the pain of having to grow up without a father, it’s the nauseating delivery of her revelation that will bring up at least one of your intestines, if not both.

"They separated when my mom was pregnant. I"ve met him twice. I"ve been this glossy, red-carpet version of me and not talked about myself for a long time."


Glossy, red carpet version of me? WTF??? Is Celine Dion singing???

Seriously…

And the solipsism doesn"t stop there. Emmy then goes on to shamelessly drop in to the conversation that she is a small boned-ed kinda girl and that even though she is (as the Fug Girls have so hilariously christened her) Princess Gumdrop of Sugartown (tell me that isn’t the funniest thing you’ve ever heard!!!), Emmy wants you to know she still enjoys some hooch on occasion, especially since she’s now legal:

"I love a whiskey sour, and I know most people can"t believe a small-framed girl like me can drink a whiskey sour, but I can. And I like Bellinis."

Oh no she dih-int. Did she really? Did she really HAVE to remind us that she’s “a small-framed girl”??? Were we under some illusion that Emmy Rossum – god forbid – had turned into a size 18?

Bitch… PLEASE!!!

You know how you know it’s bad? You know it’s bad when you become a “Would You Rather”.

Example:

Would you rather hang out with Emmy Rossum or pick toe jam out of Pete Doherty’s feet?

Tough call. I honestly can’t decide.

Or better yet.

Would you rather hang out with Emmy Rossum or get pissed on by John Mayer.

And you know what? I would rather let John Mayer urinate on me and NOT SHOWER AFTER than hang out with Emmy Rossum. At least this way, I smell for a few hours and scrub it off later. At least this way, I save both eyes from being stabbed with a stiletto heel...by MY OWN HAND!!!

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