Emmy & the Anthem: Rossum of 2007
There were too many Rossum gems to count this year. Too much vomit, too much cheese. And not even good cheese.
But perhaps the most Rossum of the Rossum lot had to be when Emmy sang the national anthem at a Nascar event in June. It’s the closed-eye singing. And it’s the open-eye singing too. When her eyes are open, you see, Emmy’s eyes are supposed to be evoking “hope”. Look at her. Look at her evoking all that hope. Aren’t you suddenly so hopeful?
Topping it all off though is of course her singing enunciation. She is a 20 year old who sings from a century ago. Who needs to remind you that her vocal chords are always open, so that the following lyrics are delivered as such:
Normal – Gave proof through the night that our flag was still there
Rossum – Gave proof through the nawt thawt ahhh flawg was still there
Normal – O’er the land of the free and the home of the brave
Rossum – O’er the lawnd of the free awnd the hohm of the brahv
It’s the “brahv” that gives me seizures and that captures the essence of the Rossum.
Click here if you dare to relive the Rossum anthem.
And perhaps it’s fitting now for the final Would You Rather of the year:
Would you rather be friends with Emmy Rossum or let Tom Cruise sweat and grind up on your ass on the dance floor?
I’m telling you…Xenu chills and all, I’d take the GMD.