Emmy Predictions 2011

July 13, 2011 07:39:00 Posted at July 13, 2011 07:39:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Written by Duana

Herewith my predictions for the Emmy nominations tomorrow:

1.Melissa McCarthy, who is scheduled to announce the nominees, will be described in the press as ‘notably plump’ or ‘voluptuous’. Her outfit that she chooses at 5 AM will be described as either too formal or too casual for the occasion.

Mike and Molly will not be nominated in the comedy category. McCarthy will make a scripted joke about this. It will be delivered cleverly, but everyone will wince in discomfort anyway.

She will make a joke about Joshua Jackson in Fringe. Not enough people will get it in rehearsal so the writers will change the joke to include the word ‘Pacey’. Jackson will be gracious.

2.Since Boardwalk Empire and The Walking Dead will steal most of the nominations in the drama category, you will punch yourself for having postponed one or both, saving them for cottage viewing. Now you will either commit to cramming them in from now ‘til September or commit to feeling out of the loop.

3.Game of Thrones will elicit at least two nominations, one of which will be for costume design, prompting the ‘funny’ guy on morning shows across the continent to react as follows: “I mean, what costumes? Those ladies are wearing their birthday suits! We should be giving them the nomination! (If you use this joke on the air, “Wake Up Minneapolis”, please credit me. Thank you.)

4.30 Rock will get no nominations. Tina Fey will make some joke about being thrilled she doesn’t need to worry about her dress being photographed and will thus eventually look the best she’s every looked at an awards show.

5.The Good Wife will, humbly, accept what they’re given if anything, knowing that they have absolutely no cred. In a roomful of nakey-sweary cable kids, they are the goody-goody teachers’ pets. Even Friday Night Lights becomes cooler by virtue of being harder to find.

6.While we’re on the subject….I dunno. The Academy nominated Britton and Chandler last year, nothing came of it. If they’re smart, they’ll choose Britton, as she has fewer NEW people to compete against, though the usual suspects, including the indomitable Kyra Sedgwick, will attend.

7.There will be at least one awkward call-in appearance on Good Morning America by a nominated cast member from Modern Family. They will be flushed, happy, and, in the words of Tina Fey, it will feel ‘sweaty’.

Back tomorrow once we know how delighted or heartbroken we actually are!

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