Famewhores Articles

Famewhores, attention-seekers, opportunists, and spotlight chasers. Not all of them in poor taste. Cases in point: BB8 and Prince George.

Shelfy keeps dreaming

October 14, 2009 13:40:53 Posted at October 14, 2009 13:40:53
Lainey Posted by Lainey

She’s persistent. And she’s already trying to sort out a Plan B. Plan A, obviously, is to keep clinging to Pippy even though he’s trying to fling her. But just like she once schemed to lock him down, crashing party after party to hook it up, Shelf Ass Jessica Biel is resourceful. A hungry bitch always lines up her next meal. Full Story

Fixture

October 7, 2009 13:53:01 Posted at October 7, 2009 13:53:01
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Sulmona, Italy. George Clooney continues to shoot The American. And it’s convenient too because, as you know, Elisabetta Canalis is Italian, and she’s become a fixture now, sighted on set with him, hand in hand, even though he knows the paps are around, in between scenes. Look at her. I love her. Full Story

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The Clinger cover and the People Publicist

September 30, 2009 12:36:32 Posted at September 30, 2009 12:36:32
Lainey Posted by Lainey

The good news is that Shelfy landed herself a cover. The bad news…the cover makes her look as pathetic as Jennifer Aniston. As reported yesterday, the new issue of Us Weekly features an exclusive breakup report – Justin Timberlake ditched the Shelf Ass Jessica Biel. Full Story

The Jessica School of Acting

September 29, 2009 06:54:00 Posted at September 29, 2009 06:54:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Today is We Day in Vancouver. The Dalai Lama, among others, will be addressing 16,000 young people, engaging them, encouraging them, celebrating their efforts to give back and make a difference.Make The Difference is the name of Jessica Biel’s foundation. She’s working on a new film that’s shooting in Vancouver. Full Story

Skinny clinger rushes home

September 28, 2009 09:17:33 Posted at September 28, 2009 09:17:33
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Shelf Ass Jessica Biel, ever shrinking in her quest to more resemble Keira Knightley and Natalie Portman, on Saturday leaving Vancouver after only 2 days in town for A-Team rushing back to LA to re-attach herself to Justin Timberlake. While she was away, JT hooked up with his boys for a night out at Crown Bar. Full Story

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Ashton’s losing record

September 28, 2009 06:37:32 Posted at September 28, 2009 06:37:32
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Have a look at Ashton Kutcher’s IMDB profile. It’s a resume that hardly qualifies, nowhere near a passing grade, the losses greatly dominating the wins, and even the wins weren’t entirely his doing. After all, What Happens In Vegas could largely be attributed to Cameron Diaz’s established box office appeal as opposed to Ashton’s string of big screen failures and small screen disappointments, the latest being The Beautiful Life, officially canned after only 2 episodes. Full Story

Miss Zahara and The Chosen Sword

September 23, 2009 12:49:40 Posted at September 23, 2009 12:49:40
Lainey Posted by Lainey

New fairy tale? No. It’s the Brange girls. Pax and his mother accompanied Miss Zahara and The Chosen One to Toys R Us in France. New photos of a smiling Angelina and her adorable children are driving down productivity among Brangelunatics today as they’ve collectively fallen on the ground to await orders from Shiloh’s holy sword. Full Story

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Pippy Facebook

September 23, 2009 07:43:04 Posted at September 23, 2009 07:43:04
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Three weeks ago, a movie called The Open Road starring Justin Timberlake and Jeff Bridges flamed out spectacularly at the box office. Oh, you haven’t heard of it? It was so sh-t, rumour has it, Pipsqueak wouldn’t promote it. But still he keeps trying, trying to be an actor. Despite the fact that, given his track record, his music Midas Touch turns to poison on the big screen. Full Story

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The Jessicas and their limits

September 17, 2009 07:28:51 Posted at September 17, 2009 07:28:51
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Variety reports that Shelf Ass Jessica Biel has found herself a job. She’ll play Bradley Cooper’s ex lover in A-Team, an army lady who’s on their asses. Or something. This is what you call Hollywood reality. After months and months of waiting, desperately hoping for an opportunity, the most attractive prospect presented to Shelfy turned out to be a supporting role as the proverbial sexy girlfriend in an action movie that requires little in the way of talent. Full Story

Is she going too?

September 16, 2009 08:59:56 Posted at September 16, 2009 08:59:56
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Kanye West told Jay Leno that he’ll be disappearing for a while, that he needs time to fix his sh-t. Does fixing his sh-t include getting rid of Amber Rose? She’s part of the f-ckery. So if he’s promising to cut out the f-ckery, in theory, he should be cutting Amber Rose out too. If Kanye is a man of his word then, well, Amber Rose will have to find a new ass to ride. Full Story

The “close family friend”

September 15, 2009 12:30:08 Posted at September 15, 2009 12:30:08
Lainey Posted by Lainey

The Brangelunatics have been upset that the Twi-Hards are getting so much of the crazy spotlight. Let’s give them some love. Alejandra sent this email today in response to a People.com article that was posted earlier. Full Story