Famewhores Articles

Famewhores, attention-seekers, opportunists, and spotlight chasers. Not all of them in poor taste. Cases in point: BB8 and Prince George.

Summer Buzz

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 28, 2008 06:33:15 July 28, 2008 06:33:15

John Mayer played a show last night at the Verizon Amphitheatre showing off a new buzz. You likey? I prefer the longer. But he does look younger. And Jennifer Aniston certainly doesn’t mind that. And she certainly won’t mind reminding you that he’s younger too. The Oprah watching Mini-Van Majority loves 40 year old divorcees dating fresh rocker studs. Full Story

Shelfy Hates Fried Chicken

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 24, 2008 06:38:00 July 24, 2008 06:38:00

Oh Shelfy. So predictable. It was widely reported yesterday that Britney and Justin will be reuniting professionally for a duet, according to OK! Magazine. Here’s what I wrote at the end of the article: Besides, adding Chicken Fried back in (Pip’s) diet would most certainly push Shelf Ass off the map. Full Story

Granny had a baby?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 21, 2008 08:39:24 July 21, 2008 08:39:24

When? In 1988? Just kidding! Really? Because Gran totally had her baby 2 weeks ago – remember? Granny Freeze Nicole Kidman’s daughter Sunday was born on a Monday. Just 4 days after that, a glowing Granny went out for lunch with friends. And as you can see, her stomach is totally concave again. Full Story

Crown Princess of AssTalk sugarcoated for the Mini

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 18, 2008 06:19:52 July 18, 2008 06:19:52

Shonda Rhimes was asked to address the Katherine Heigl situation during the ABC TCA session yesterday. "When I was told about it, my reaction was surprised. I have a really wonderful working relationship with Katherine. Everybody knows Izzie is one off my favorite characters." But journalists and critics did not let up. Full Story

Pippy at the ESPYs

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 17, 2008 06:36:16 July 17, 2008 06:36:16

Justin Timberlake hosted the ESPYs last night and tried to be funny. Pipsqueak performed an “original rock opera”, paying homage to everyone from Tiger Woods to the Boston Celtics, and belittling Jessica Simpson, which wouldn’t be the first time. A few years ago, Pippy hit up Saturday Night Live and played her for the moron she is. Full Story

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Dear Gossips,

A big deal was made the other day that Granny Freeze Nicole Kidman would not be selling her baby photos. So was it an honourable decision – that somehow the photo-opp loving Gran would suddenly be picture shy? Or was it more case of no one caring?

Word is, Granny wanted no less than $3 million, refusing to suffer the indignity of being paid less than lesser celebrities. Unfortunately, the market value for Granny’s baby pics more or less matches her current box office appeal – which, as you know, is sh*t. Rumour has it, no publication was willing to pay her asking price… so instead, Gran had it “leaked” that she eschewed the role of parental pimp.

Please.

The Freeze knows what we say. And more than anything she will want to “prove” that she had a Sunday. Just because she won’t get paid for them, doesn’t mean they won’t exist. There will be candids. And soon.

Wednesday – am blogging all day, check back often. And sorry about the lack of clues this week. Have finally found a book to obsess about, been distracted.

Yours in gossip,

Lainey

PS. Sienna Miller is not the other woman.

Ugly Junior kissy face

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 16, 2008 11:42:55 July 16, 2008 11:42:55

Try not to Rossum. Tori Spelling and that piece of sh*t she married, Kevin Federline Jr, decided they haven’t been getting enough attention lately, so yesterday, the two ran into some paps to get their picture taken. Just to make sure we know how desperate they are, Junior also leaned in for a kiss. Full Story

Madge"s Family Weekend

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 14, 2008 05:41:23 July 14, 2008 05:41:23

Madonna was not wearing a wedding ring on Friday but she was holding her husband’s hand... Check out the Family Madge at Kabbalah service the other night – Madonna being led out by Guy Ritchie and again yesterday taking their kids out to a movie, both continuing to attempt to convince the world that all is right between them But who cares? Who cares when Lourdes is around? Note that the only 2 people wearing sunglasses are Madonna and Lourdes. Full Story

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The Holy Birth

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 14, 2008 05:30:10 July 14, 2008 05:30:10

All those magazine covers and exclusive stories, all the rumours, all the speculation... the Pitts must have been laughing. Hard. Because remember, in the end, the Pitts are always in control. And with the birth of a girl AND a boy, the Pitts proved them all wrong. For weeks and weeks, it was a foregone conclusion – Entertainment Tonight going so far as to prematurely report the names of two baby girls born to The Brange called Isla and Amelie. Full Story

Shelfy tries to dance

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 10, 2008 07:21:36 July 10, 2008 07:21:36

Couldn’t be bothered to pay close enough attention while reading to the article to find out whether or not she has a background in dance. It doesn’t matter anyway. Because never before has there been such an inelegant herm on a dance floor. Check out Shelf Ass Jessica Biel in Harper’s Bazaar – some kind of photo shoot showcasing her dance moves with several designers. Full Story

Pip eats without his ass

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 9, 2008 16:16:05 July 9, 2008 16:16:05

As my mother would say… Why this happening? Pipsqueakweasel Justin Timberlake eating out without his Shelf Ass Jessica Biel? Impossible! Yet here he is – JT last night photographed outside a restaurant in Beverly Hills and no Shelfy in sight, which only means that we’ll be seeing Shelfy clinging to her Pippy very, very soon, lest you forget he has a girlfriend. Full Story