Famewhores Articles

Famewhores, attention-seekers, opportunists, and spotlight chasers. Not all of them in poor taste. Cases in point: BB8 and Prince George.

The Brange Ultimatum

June 6, 2008 06:52:00 Posted at June 6, 2008 06:52:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

So here we are… June 6, 2008. Still no official word that the Wonder Twins have been activated though the rumour of the day is that Angelina and Brad will be heading to Marseilles. Absolutely no foundation for this, save for French reporters scouring their entire nation for the best hospitals. Full Story

The Brange Supremacy

June 6, 2008 06:48:56 Posted at June 6, 2008 06:48:56
Lainey Posted by Lainey

The more talk of a conspiracy, the more intrigue and anticipation. When are They coming? The world is waiting. Waiting and watching and growing more anxious and foaming at the mouth and all of it serves as proper justification… Word is, there was some hesitation over the price tag of those photos. Full Story

Shiloh Have Mercy

June 5, 2008 06:35:52 Posted at June 5, 2008 06:35:52
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Remember, this piece of sh*t never takes a picture without a purpose. So even if she isn’t pregnant, she certainly wants you thinking she is. Because pregnancy is the new craze. Nine months of attention and then a huge spotlight on an innocent child that she would no doubt mold into a virus even more destructive than she is. Full Story

Mr & Mrs Junior Loser

June 4, 2008 07:22:47 Posted at June 4, 2008 07:22:47
Lainey Posted by Lainey

This made my life. Thanks to Catherine for sending. Tori Spelling and that golddigging piece of sh*t she married are promoting a new season of their dumbass reality show. Apparently neither can get booked on the regular publicity circuit. As such, they’ve had to resort to this: hiring a planeto do that sky-writing business … see attached. Full Story

Gay Midget Dork in the Middle

June 2, 2008 07:00:00 Posted at June 2, 2008 07:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Of course they had to. Of course they had to pose with SJP. SJP just won the box office. And you know how the GMD loves to grow himself onto anything and anyone mildly successful. Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes did not walk the carpet last night but tried to pimp their fraud love backstage and also loitered about, freakin’ people out with their crazy eyes, giving people chills with their weird intense stares. Full Story

Shelfy Stomps Her Feet

May 27, 2008 06:43:15 Posted at May 27, 2008 06:43:15
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Who’s the little Shelfy pouting in the corner? There’s the little Shelfy who needs more attention. Poor little petulant Shelfy has spent weeks off the headlines. That’s why the little Shelfy is stomping her feet. And putting her publicist right back to work. You see, Shelf Ass Jessica Biel has been stuck on a movie set with Jake Gyllenhaal who apparently read her the riot act, telling her in no uncertain terms that she was not to pull her usual paparazzi shenanigans and arrange “candids” from the set of their movie Nailed which has been filming over the last several weeks and recently shut down production reportedly from lack of funding. Full Story

Ebola Desperate to Spread

May 21, 2008 06:18:30 Posted at May 21, 2008 06:18:30
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Seal your windows and protect your children… this is Ebola Paris Hilton leaving a medical centre yesterday. Rumour has it, she`s been desperate to conceive and is rather frustrated that it hasn`t happened yet. Yes. That f*cking disease is trying to procreate. The world is about to end. On a lighter note, Ebola is still at it with her fragrance enterprise and will be launching a new cologne later this year. Full Story

Mrs Alba Bitch

May 21, 2008 05:57:56 Posted at May 21, 2008 05:57:56
Lainey Posted by Lainey

When Laura and I heard last night that the Alba Bitch had quietly married Cash Warren in advance of the birth of their baby, our first reaction was: She was ok with getting married not thin as a rail? All part and parcel of course of Jessica Alba`s continuing efforts to find a fan base… any fan base… that doesn’t only care to see her naked. Full Story

Granny’s Bump Grows Again

May 20, 2008 05:57:23 Posted at May 20, 2008 05:57:23
Lainey Posted by Lainey

She is as obvious as Ebola on a photo opp. Can you imagine? An Oscar winner having to stoop down to Paris Hilton’s level? This is now Nicole Kidman’s reality. Gran showed up with a noticeably bigger bump at the Country Music Awards the other night holding on to her belly in nearly every. Full Story

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We Blame Mischa Barton

May 20, 2008 05:45:06 Posted at May 20, 2008 05:45:06
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Friday night we were supposed to cover a Mischa Barton red carpet for that dumbass Tatu movie she made last year. So we show up at Majestic Beach at 10pm ready to shoot and one of the Tatus is running around hoping to get noticed to no avail and the publicists are setting up the stanchions and we’re just about to pull the camera out when a rep comes over to say that Mischa skipped the photo call the day before and she hadn’t been seen in 24 hrs. Full Story

Sit DOWN Eva Longoria!

May 15, 2008 13:50:00 Posted at May 15, 2008 13:50:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Put your bony little ass in the car seat and sit the f&ck down! Check out Eva Longoria – who? Eva Longoria – who? Yes… Eva fecking Longoria tonight on the carpet at the Kung Fu Panda premiere trying desperately to divert attention away from the Pitt Porn. Really? Her? Maybe a Hot Harry on a Horse sex tape. Full Story