Famewhores Articles

Famewhores, attention-seekers, opportunists, and spotlight chasers. Not all of them in poor taste. Cases in point: BB8 and Prince George.

Taupe & Violet please everyone

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 13, 2008 05:30:52 June 13, 2008 05:30:52

Jennifer Garner was never as popular when Alias was ON the air as she has been now that it’s OFF the air. Strange, non? That an actress’s value can increase even when she’s not working? This is the power of the MiniVan Majority. Because Taupe had Violet. And Violet is the cutest, cutest, cutest. Full Story

Pippy Putts

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 6, 2008 13:55:29 June 6, 2008 13:55:29

It hurts me to post these. It hurts to look at my golf clubs collecting dust in the closet. Just before breaking my arm, I had finally figured out my short game. Was supposed to break 100 this season. Many times. F*cking Mischa Barton Full Story

The Brange Ultimatum

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 6, 2008 06:52:00 June 6, 2008 06:52:00

So here we are… June 6, 2008. Still no official word that the Wonder Twins have been activated though the rumour of the day is that Angelina and Brad will be heading to Marseilles. Absolutely no foundation for this, save for French reporters scouring their entire nation for the best hospitals. Full Story

The Brange Supremacy

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 6, 2008 06:48:56 June 6, 2008 06:48:56

The more talk of a conspiracy, the more intrigue and anticipation. When are They coming? The world is waiting. Waiting and watching and growing more anxious and foaming at the mouth and all of it serves as proper justification… Word is, there was some hesitation over the price tag of those photos. Full Story

Shiloh Have Mercy

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 5, 2008 06:35:52 June 5, 2008 06:35:52

Remember, this piece of sh*t never takes a picture without a purpose. So even if she isn’t pregnant, she certainly wants you thinking she is. Because pregnancy is the new craze. Nine months of attention and then a huge spotlight on an innocent child that she would no doubt mold into a virus even more destructive than she is. Full Story

Mr & Mrs Junior Loser

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 4, 2008 07:22:47 June 4, 2008 07:22:47

This made my life. Thanks to Catherine for sending. Tori Spelling and that golddigging piece of sh*t she married are promoting a new season of their dumbass reality show. Apparently neither can get booked on the regular publicity circuit. As such, they’ve had to resort to this: hiring a planeto do that sky-writing business … see attached. Full Story

Gay Midget Dork in the Middle

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 2, 2008 07:00:00 June 2, 2008 07:00:00

Of course they had to. Of course they had to pose with SJP. SJP just won the box office. And you know how the GMD loves to grow himself onto anything and anyone mildly successful. Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes did not walk the carpet last night but tried to pimp their fraud love backstage and also loitered about, freakin’ people out with their crazy eyes, giving people chills with their weird intense stares. Full Story

Shelfy Stomps Her Feet

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 27, 2008 06:43:15 May 27, 2008 06:43:15

Who’s the little Shelfy pouting in the corner? There’s the little Shelfy who needs more attention. Poor little petulant Shelfy has spent weeks off the headlines. That’s why the little Shelfy is stomping her feet. And putting her publicist right back to work. You see, Shelf Ass Jessica Biel has been stuck on a movie set with Jake Gyllenhaal who apparently read her the riot act, telling her in no uncertain terms that she was not to pull her usual paparazzi shenanigans and arrange “candids” from the set of their movie Nailed which has been filming over the last several weeks and recently shut down production reportedly from lack of funding. Full Story

Ebola Desperate to Spread

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 21, 2008 06:18:30 May 21, 2008 06:18:30

Seal your windows and protect your children… this is Ebola Paris Hilton leaving a medical centre yesterday. Rumour has it, she`s been desperate to conceive and is rather frustrated that it hasn`t happened yet. Yes. That f*cking disease is trying to procreate. The world is about to end. On a lighter note, Ebola is still at it with her fragrance enterprise and will be launching a new cologne later this year. Full Story

Mrs Alba Bitch

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 21, 2008 05:57:56 May 21, 2008 05:57:56

When Laura and I heard last night that the Alba Bitch had quietly married Cash Warren in advance of the birth of their baby, our first reaction was: She was ok with getting married not thin as a rail? All part and parcel of course of Jessica Alba`s continuing efforts to find a fan base… any fan base… that doesn’t only care to see her naked. Full Story

Granny’s Bump Grows Again

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 20, 2008 05:57:23 May 20, 2008 05:57:23

She is as obvious as Ebola on a photo opp. Can you imagine? An Oscar winner having to stoop down to Paris Hilton’s level? This is now Nicole Kidman’s reality. Gran showed up with a noticeably bigger bump at the Country Music Awards the other night holding on to her belly in nearly every. Full Story

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