Famewhores Articles

Famewhores, attention-seekers, opportunists, and spotlight chasers. Not all of them in poor taste. Cases in point: BB8 and Prince George.

Sit DOWN Eva Longoria!

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 15, 2008 13:50:00 May 15, 2008 13:50:00

Put your bony little ass in the car seat and sit the f&ck down! Check out Eva Longoria – who? Eva Longoria – who? Yes… Eva fecking Longoria tonight on the carpet at the Kung Fu Panda premiere trying desperately to divert attention away from the Pitt Porn. Really? Her? Maybe a Hot Harry on a Horse sex tape. Full Story

Do you like long pants?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 15, 2008 12:59:00 May 15, 2008 12:59:00

Fireworks on the Croisette tonight – real ones and Pitty Porn styles too. It’s one of my favourites about Cannes: the firework display at 10:30pm followed by a rousing chorus of horns from all the surround ships in the harbour. Gives me goosebumps every time. Just like Pitt Porn gives me quivers. Full Story

A Mortal Fights the Gods

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 15, 2008 05:16:00 May 15, 2008 05:16:00

You have to applaud her effort, non? She is waging a war she can’t win but still she won’t give up. As you know, Angelina Jolie confirmed yesterday that she is indeed expecting two royal arrivals. Needless to say, as is the case with any headline related to the Pitts, it was the biggest news in gossip leaving every other story, including Jennifer Aniston’s romance with John Mayer, in the dust. Full Story

No Mojo at Blindness

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 15, 2008 04:28:30 May 15, 2008 04:28:30

There was a time when Mischa Barton was considered a style girl. She and Nicole Richie had a funky friends together kinda thing going on that used to be pretty cute. Then again, I’m a Mischa apologist. I liked the weird moccasins, she did have a certain “it”. But lately? Longer than lately? Mischa has lost her mojo. Full Story

A Glimpse of the Monster

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 13, 2008 09:59:54 May 13, 2008 09:59:54

When Dina Lohan signed on for her reality show, it was supposed to be about HER. Her life as a momager. Her relentless parental pimp. Her attempt to strike gold for a second time with Lindsay’s little sister. Needless to say, producers quickly realised that the child is much more interesting than the mother. Full Story

Ashlee & Pete: Weekend Wedding?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 13, 2008 04:56:42 May 13, 2008 04:56:42

Us Weekly is reporting that friends and family of Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz have been asked to save the date this Saturday. Translation: Joe Simpson saw the hype that happened when Mariah married Nick and called up Janice Min to kiss her ass and offer her a golden nugget. Full Story

What John Did in the Pool

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 12, 2008 06:16:08 May 12, 2008 06:16:08

You think he was easing her in to the experience? John Mayer returned to Miami to join Jennifer Aniston this weekend by the pool. Where else would she be??? Again, the paps were able to grab some amazing photos of the two… much to the chagrin of her hardworking bodyguards, who’ve supposedly been charged with guarding her privacy. Full Story

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14 Is Older Than 18

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 8, 2008 07:28:00 May 8, 2008 07:28:00

Taylor Swift and Ali Lohan both attended the 5th Annual Candies Foundation Event to Prevent benefit last night in New York. Taylor is 18. Ali is 14. Four years is a pretty big difference at that age. But Ali is a child of Dina Lohan. There is no child of Dina Lohan who can retain youth. Which is why Ali looks about 10 years older than young Taylor, if not more. Full Story

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Kissing Ass Everywhere

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 8, 2008 06:49:17 May 8, 2008 06:49:17

After fellating the MiniVan Majority on Oprah, the GMD is now focusing his attention on that old bat Barbara Walters who is currently pimping her memoirs in a new book called Audition. He appeared on The View yesterday via video to honour her, describing her as a "leading force for women not only in the newsroom but the world at large". Full Story

Hot Becks, Old Posh

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 6, 2008 10:53:04 May 6, 2008 10:53:04

David fixed up that mess on his face and he was back to his quivering standard. Victoria on the other hand… Victoria was a disaster. It was the worst she’s looked in a long, long time. It was atrocious. Like gasp-inducing atrocity. Like if he was contemplating cheating again, last night would have been his final push. Full Story

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Rossum Who?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 6, 2008 09:12:00 May 6, 2008 09:12:00

For real. No one gave a sh*t. She posed for the still photographers and then slowly headed up the stairs hoping the tv and print outlets would care and maybe, maybe stopped for one or two but while other stars pretended they couldn’t hear the cries of reporters begging for an interview, Emmy Rossum tried so hard to make eye contact, imploring us with her insipid doe eyes to make her feel like someone important. Full Story