Faux Smut Articles

Fake or untrue celebrity news, gossip, or rumours.

Ryan: Scarlett or Charlize?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 13, 2011 07:10:52 July 13, 2011 07:10:52

You know, if you’re going to make up a story, at least make sure you get the location and the date right. It’s a basic, basic requirement. Because isn’t it important to know when and where? Life & Style is reporting that Ryan Reynolds and Scarlett Johansson may not be done with each other yet because the two were seen at a restaurant in LA on July 9th sharing an intimate dinner. Full Story

George Clooney is still with the Italian Queen

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 10, 2011 07:59:49 June 10, 2011 07:59:49

Kinda grumpy today. Underslept, have had a few annoying phone calls but mostly because my trainer Hayley busted my ass on Wednesday and I’m still sore and, as such, played a sh-t 9 holes last night, and have to work out with her again today and she won’t have any sympathy. Anyway, my point about grumpiness is that that’s when I’m less patient with dumb gossip. Full Story

Shelfy rides Spittle

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 6, 2011 12:28:44 June 6, 2011 12:28:44

His bike. Did she know that Justin Timberlake would be at the MTV Movie Awards presenting with Mila Kunis and spending the weekend promoting Bad Teacher with his ex-girlfriend Cameron Diaz? Oh, I’m sure she had some idea. So... What did Shelfy get up to? Jessica Biel was photographed out for a ride on the back of Gerard Butler’s bike. Full Story

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LaLa’s Godfather?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 10, 2011 09:04:31 May 10, 2011 09:04:31

The Beckhams were invited to the Wedding of the Century. Naturally, the British tabloids have been quick to hop on their acquaintanceship-relationship, eager to manufacture some kind of bullsh-t headline that might move a few extra thousand copies or generate a few extra page views. As a traffic whore myself, I’m down with generating page views, but putting a story out there about the Future King of England being the godfather to the Beckhams incoming girl-child seems a bit of a stretch, non? According to a source for The Mirror Full Story

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Katie Holmes > Ashton Kutcher

Lainey Posted by Lainey at April 28, 2011 12:05:26 April 28, 2011 12:05:26

A few weeks ago Star Magazine put Katie Holmes on the cover. It was a scandalous headline about drugs but on the inside it was really just an article about some Scientology method and that she’s really into it, much like some people can be really into running marathons, or activities of that require similar ridiculous effort. Full Story

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Jen: no babies, Mexican or otherwise

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 2, 2011 09:12:00 February 2, 2011 09:12:00

Apparently this is only a surprise for people who read and actually believe Star Magazine. Every other month, someone tries to make us think that Jennifer Aniston wants babies. Maybe she encourages that a little, but mostly it’s because the MiniVan Majority really, really wants that for her. They want for her what they have for themselves. Full Story

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Scarlett is f-cking everyone

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 27, 2011 09:44:09 January 27, 2011 09:44:09

Unfortunately this is the new reality for Scarlett Johansson. That every time she goes out with a friend, talks to someone at a party, works with another actor, it will mean that she’s f-cking him. When girls like Scarlett are single, bad gossip rates go way up. Earlier this week, Scarjo was linked to Saturday Night Live’s Jason Sudeikis, now that he’s no longer dating January Jones. Full Story

Kate is pregnant, not engaged

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 27, 2011 08:07:09 January 27, 2011 08:07:09

It was reported yesterday, courtesy the ever reliable UK Sun, that Kate Hudson is engaged to Matt Bellamy. Because he and her parents went out for an engagement dinner the other night in London. Kate however taped an appearance on the Graham Norton Show last night and denied the story: “No, no, not that I know of! I don’t like putting that sort of pressure on it and I don’t feel it necessary to get married. Full Story

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Wishful Gossip

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 13, 2011 10:32:20 January 13, 2011 10:32:20

On December 15th, after Scarlett Johansson and Ryan Reynolds announced their split, I wrote the following: “What if however Justin were to bring Scarlett Johansson (to the Golden Globes)? Different ballgame, non? And Scarjo is single now. Full Story

Granny says she’s stopped freezing…?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 12, 2011 08:30:40 January 12, 2011 08:30:40

Nicole Kidman, on many occasions, has denied f-cking around with her face. She has always insisted that the immobilisation that’s frightened us so over the last few years is totally natural. Until now. Maybe? The UK and Euro entertainment press is often full of sh-t. And this story… this story stanks of sketch. Full Story

Creatively they are doing it

Lainey Posted by Lainey at December 21, 2010 09:39:46 December 21, 2010 09:39:46

It’s wishful thinking. But Christmas is 4 days away. So ...why not? Michelle Williams and Ryan Gosling are promoting Blue Valentine. Endlessly. Cynthia McFadden interviewed the two for ABC and asked about the rumours that they’re dating. (What rumours? I hadn’t heard of any rumours that they’re dating. Full Story

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