Thor’s shampoo commercial
Are you tired of dry, damaged hair? Sick of split ends? Try Asgardia, the number one restorative shampoo in the universe!
Thor: The Dark World, which will henceforth be referred to as “Thor 2” because that’s a silly title, has released its first trailer in advance of Iron Man 3’s international release this weekend, and it’s basically just a commercial for really great hair. Everyone looks great and beautiful and Thor has stunning luscious locks, and then there’s Loki at the end, looking like he’s walked straight out of an adult contemporary music video from 1993. That’s one way to deal with your villain being more popular than your hero—make him look like ass.
This trailer is, um…merciful. Let’s go with merciful. It’s well cut, intriguing—how does that kid make the truck gravitate? Is this the Chronicle sequel?—visuals look good, and I love Sif side-eyeing Jane (shades of mythology). But they’ve gone to a lot of trouble to hide the plot. Can you tell me what it is? Hell, I KNOW what it is, but based off that trailer, I’d be hard pressed to make the connections. Which is kind of sad, actually, because Thor 2 is directed by Alan Taylor, a veteran of Game of Thrones, and there are real political aspects of the story that are completely ignored in favor of Jane’s hair blowing in the wind. They should be selling this not as Thor’s Hair Emporium but as “Westeros in space”.
But back to Loki, because it’s no use pretending like he isn’t the real star of the show. He might look like Kenny G cosplay gone horribly awry but Loki gets the maximum-impact slow reveal usually reserved for the first look at the hero in all his glory. The Avengers left his fate open ended and now we’re getting to see what has become of Thor’s erstwhile baby brother: he’s been sentenced to Ikea prison. And Thor needs his help. The most interesting thing in this trailer is the prospect of Thor springing Loki from jail to go on a cross-universe odd couple jaunt to rescue Thor’s imperiled girlfriend (seriously, does she have a personality beyond “in distress”?). It’s Game of Thrones meets Lethal Weapon!
First Loki needs a trip to Thor’s Hair Emporium, though. They’ve got to do something about all that frizz.