Jem and No Holograms
Okay, well on the one hand, they look cool. Here are the first pictures from the Jem And The Holograms movie. The 80s may be back or not be back in various forms, but the pleather and triangles on the costumes are getting me where I need to be. I hope every song in this thing is unapologetically poppy and embraces the synthesizer and the power chords.
But on the other hand, I don’t know. I was hoping for something a little more hyper-colour, a little more vibrant. Like I didn’t want what was stopping them from being amazing to be the mundanity of life, as per the sloppy plaid shirt on Jem in the one scene.
But I keep flip-flopping on this whole thing.
Kimber has a Keytar.
They’re supposed to be sisters. All four of them, if I understand correctly. This is not bad because I’m twisted in knots thinking about parentage; it’s bad because you can’t build up a good conflict between sisters. If you’re together for life what band conflict is going to blow you apart (for long)?
Campy facepaint. It may not be a star on Jem’s face but it’s not that far away. Also that pinstriped guitar in the same scene.
That throwback hair shot is an ode to Flashdance if I’ve ever seen one. I don’t need this to be about Jem the star. If all four of them were flipping their hair, I’d be totally in.
This does not seem very magical at all. Like, wherefore the Synergy earrings?
OH AND ANOTHER BAD:
WHERE ARE THE MISFITS? WE ARE THE MISFITS, OUR SONGS ARE BETTER!
This has been a review of a movie I haven’t seen, based on a show I loved when I was eight, twenty-five years later. You’re welcome.