Fontrum Articles

Celebrity examples of fontrum, defined by the Urban Dictionary as "Feeling embarrassment for someone that doesn't have enough common sense to feel the embarrassment that they should be feeling for themselves".

Coldplay & the Gorillas

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 23, 2015 15:03:42 November 23, 2015 15:03:42
Photos:
Michael Tran/ Kevin Winter/ Jeff Kravitz/ AMA2015/ Frazer Harrison/ Getty Images

And I don’t mean Gorillaz because they would never let themselves be part of something so earnestly CRINGE. They made a big f-cking deal of the fact that Coldplay hasn’t performed at the AMAs in 7 years. It’s gross enough that every time I listen to this song I have to think about whether or not Chris Martin is singing about how Jennifer Lawrence flipped on the “on” switch for his dick, and the “magic” that took over him when he was inside of her. Full Story

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Katy Perry’s middle school play

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 2, 2015 14:25:39 February 2, 2015 14:25:39
Photos:
Jamie Squire/ Rob Carr/ Kevin Mazur/ Getty Images

“There was more than one lobster at the birth of Jesus?” You remember that scene in Love Actually? Emma Thompson’s kids and the nativity play at their school? With blow up lobsters and other sea creatures? That’s how my friend Lorella described Katy Perry’s Super Bowl halftime show. Full Story

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Pre-Globes Fontrum

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 12, 2015 20:14:39 January 12, 2015 20:14:39
Photos:
Gregg DeGuire/ Tibrina Hobson/ Jason Merritt/ Michael Buckner/ Getty Images

Art of Elysium gala on Saturday. Amber Heard was accepting an award and Johnny Depp came to support her. They made a point of proving to you that they’re not breaking up and not experiencing problems in their relationship by kissing each other with open mouths. Um, OK Johnny, I believe you. Especially when you walk the entire length of the carpet with your “extra tough, I’m a badass” face on. Full Story

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Johnny Depp holds his girlfriend

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 7, 2014 13:36:11 May 7, 2014 13:36:11
Photos:
Kevin Mazur/ Theo Wargo/ Getty

Do you feel like Johnny Depp is in your face a LOT these days? A lot more than he ever used to be? We’d go months not seeing him before. A long, long time. JD knew how to go underground. Like Tom Cruise, like Brange, he has the resources, he had the inclination. Then. Now? Now it’s almost weekly. Full Story

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Tom Hardy on Twitter

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 27, 2013 13:15:41 August 27, 2013 13:15:41

Here are some ways an actor can make you hate him: 1.Be friends with Hollywood Ebola Paris Hilton 2.Hang out with Kellan Lutz 3.Date a Kardashian 4.Join Twitter/Instagram I actively avoid celebrity Twitter accounts. I actively avoid celebrities on social media. It’s too much fontrum. Full Story

Tom Cruise’s signature move

Lainey Posted by Lainey at December 27, 2012 16:10:02 December 27, 2012 16:10:02

Is apparently dancing. He dances a lot. He dances like your uncle at the wedding. Now that he’s single, the dancing is his go-to move. According to IN TOUCH Weekly, Tom Cruise is now seeing a NY restaurant manager called Cynthia Jorge. She boldly handed him her card and he called right away, inviting her out to a club the next night where he kept her on the dance floor with his salsa and then ground his pelvis into her all Patrick Swayze styles. Full Story

Gwyneth’s rocker pelvic thrusts

Lainey Posted by Lainey at December 20, 2012 19:00:57 December 20, 2012 19:00:57

What’s with the sh-tty celebrity endorsements lately? Jessica Simpson’s Weight Watchers has been kind of a bust. Brad Pitt for Chanel was...an embarrassment. And Gwyneth Paltrow’s 7 part Max Factor series is... well... Her first “persona” was the “writer”, wearing bangles and a blazer surrounded by paper -- click here Full Story

Back to back Jacks and Xenu’s rap

Lainey Posted by Lainey at December 11, 2012 16:14:48 December 11, 2012 16:14:48
Photos:
WENN

Here’s Tom Cruise at the London premiere of Jack Reacher last night wearing a lot of blush and bronzer. Contouring makes all the difference, you know? While Tom’s promoting his current release, a trailer for his next release, Oblivion, was released online yesterday. He plays another Jack. Full Story

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Brad Pitt’s fragrant fontrum part 2

Lainey Posted by Lainey at October 17, 2012 16:29:08 October 17, 2012 16:29:08

Oh good. There’s a second version of Brad Pitt’s Chanel ad. This time he’s still offering his pretentiously poetic thoughts about the universe only he’s not on camera the whole time. Instead, while Brad speaks, models appear on screen in scenes that remind me of the trailer to Cloud Atlas Full Story

Brad Pitt’s fragrant fontrum

Lainey Posted by Lainey at October 15, 2012 15:58:23 October 15, 2012 15:58:23

I never would have thought I’d put Brad Pitt and Fontrum in the same sentence though I suppose before the Oscars, I never would have thought I’d put Angelina and Try in the same sentence either but then she stuck her leg out and became a punchline and now it seems like it’s his turn. Full Story

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Spiderman’s German frontrum

Sarah Posted by Sarah at May 18, 2012 18:09:04 May 18, 2012 18:09:04

I don’t really know what this video is except horrifying.I have a motto—start exclusive, stay exclusive. This is my media/marketing approach. I’m a boutique person; I’d rather serve a smaller, more rarified clientele than be a big smashing hit with the masses. In marketing terms, it’s called courting the alpha consumer. Full Story