For sale: Porny’s High Waisted Horror?

January 22, 2010 06:08:31 Posted at January 22, 2010 06:08:31
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Sweet Jesus, Please Shiloh, no.

My Porny has announced that she’s launching her own denim line. When you think Porny + Jeans, what comes to mind? Oh you know exactly what comes to mind. You’re looking at the pictures. It’s the High Waisted Horrors. From the Country Chili Cook-off, remember?

January 25th marks the 1 year anniversary of the Country Chili Cook-off High Waisted Horror. How should we celebrate on Monday?

Jessica Simpson is celebrating by trying to market what she calls her “booty” jeans:

"Because I live in denim, the fit was the most important. A girl's booty needs to look good. I was inspired to create a great denim line that complements the entire Jessica Simpson lifestyle brand -- a jean that becomes a girl's best friend, that everyday go-to pair."

You might be thinking to yourself – there is no way she’s trying to sell me those mom jeans, absolutely not. She would not put her name to them.

But I worry. Because this is also the same girl who, every other day, steps out of her house looking f-cked up. Voluntarily. With friends supporting. So how can you trust she won’t be hawking her own brand of High Waisted Horrors, spreading like a virus, soon to be worn in combination with Ed Hardy all over Las Vegas... ?

Having said that, to be fair, she isn’t given enough credit for her business. It’s generated a reported $450 million so far. But bags and shoes are so much different from jeans. As always, where my Porny is concerned, you hope for the best, you expect the worst, and you brace for the next High Waisted Horror. She’s good for it once a year.

Photos from and

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