GOOP and the new mother

April 5, 2012 17:38:28 Posted at April 5, 2012 17:38:28
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Today’s GOOP is holiday appropriate - all about the egg: the birth egg. After all, pregnancy is the female obsession. True story:

Our nephew came over last week. He’s 11, grade 6. The public nurse has been coming around to talk to them about their bodies and “hormones”. He loves this discussion, tries to bring it up in every conversation. Here’s how our conversation went:

Him: The public health nurse got my hormones all in a twist.

Me: Why?

Him: How does she know about hormones when she doesn’t even have babies?

Me: You know that you can do the act that makes babies without actually making a baby, right?

Him: (silence)

Fascinating, right? At 11 years old, this kid has already concluded that a female’s sexual participation can only serve a productive function. What are the influences and communication streams that inform these assumptions? And can those assumptions ever truly be modified?

Anyway, click here for the GOOP New Mother issue. I’ll leave you to enjoy it on your own because I really have no insight on the matter except to say, well, no wonder I ended up a f-cking bitch of a failure; it’s because my Chinese Squawking Chicken ma didn’t bother to use an Organic Baby Carrier.

As for that photo of Gwyneth Paltrow with her best friend forever Beyonce on Beysus’s new Tumblr today - which, I mean, how obsessed are you with this site? It’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me and don’t lie, you’ve wasted half your morning on it already - a few of you have emailed wondering what they’re doing. Let’s make this a multiple choice:

Beyonce and Gwyneth are:

A.Praying
B.Listening to music, feeling the energy
C.Talking sh-t about Madonna telepathically
D.Losing weight by mind control
E.Tired

Thoughts? Email or tweet me! Or come to the LiveBlog later to discuss at 3pm ET/Noon PT.

Source: The best site ever

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