GOOP needs powder

April 13, 2011 07:42:05 Posted at April 13, 2011 07:42:05
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Gwyneth Paltrow turned up at the Good Housekeeping Shine On Awards last night in New York to present to her FRIEND Christy Turlington. You know Bono gave Christy away at her wedding? So, yeah, they’re all in that little circle. More on Gwyneth and everyone who loves her later.

For now…

She needs some powder, non?

Maybe it’s residual shine from the evening before, when she supposedly slaved away in the kitchen and cooked dinner for all her celebrity fans including Jerry Seinfeld and Jay-Z.

Which of course is a good segue into her double interview with Jay-Z both for GOOP and for his new lifestyle website Life & Times. Needless to say, Gwyneth is much better talking about herself than she is at talking about someone else. Her questions for Jay-Z are a combination of gush, sycophancy, and self-absorption. Example:

G: As someone who has walked through museums with you, eaten with you, heard music with you, I know firsthand how creativity in all areas lifts your consciousness. Do you feel that as a cultural figure of importance it is part of your responsibility to share what inspires you?

J: I think it's every human's job to inspire others, to feed one another's senses. Inspiration begets inspiration times infinity. Imagine if the person that was inspired to create the phonograph didn't share it with the world.


Gwyneth and Jay-Z hang out. Didn’t you know? What’s confusing to me right now about Gwyneth is why then the effort to make YOU love her. When the people who matter to her – the right people, the elite people, the Beyonce and Jay-Zs of the world – already do. When did that become not enough for her? Because it always used to be enough. It was always enough to be better than us.

While the G interview J was totally useless however, J interviewing G was infinitely more interesting. You’ll note – he calls her “my sister”. Like that’s how tight they are. Which… must bite your ass, non?

And then she throws down some N.W.A. Straight Outta Compton. Eazy-E! I have just wasted 20 minutes going through the old school jams. Then when Jay brings up Madonna, G’s all like, nah, I preferred New Order and Yaz. So… real Brits? But didn’t Substance change your life? I listened to that tape until it broke. OMG. We used to listen to tapes!

Anyway, I’d much rather this version of Gwyneth, obnoxious, condescending, rich girl slumming with the rappers like it’s for credit at school, than the one on her knees sucking MiniVan dick because she wants to take over from Martha Stewart. Please.

Speaking of…

Here she is arriving at Good Morning America today, again in flesh tones with a blazer borrowed from the set of Dynasty.

Click here to read Jay-Z on GOOP and click here to read GOOP on Jay-Z.


Photos from Kevin Mazur/Dimitrios Kambouris/WireImage and Doug Meszler/Splashnewsonline.com

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