GOOPy’s blind riddle

April 16, 2009 07:04:12 Posted at April 16, 2009 07:04:12
Lainey Posted by Lainey

GOOP’s newsletter was a gossip column today, for reals.


Give us a break from those f-cking recipes and the incessant parent chatter – THIS is what we come for! All in service of becoming a better human being, of course, and finding enlightenment somehow, but whatever. The only thing you’ll take away from this is WHO?

WHO is she talking about?


Winona Ryder.

But first… what Gwyneth wrote to open her weekly:

Back in the day, I had a “frenemy” who, as it turned out, was pretty hell-bent on taking me down. This person really did what they could to hurt me. I was deeply upset, I was angry, I was all of those things you feel when you find out that someone you thought you liked was venomous and dangerous. I restrained myself from fighting back. I tried to take the high road. But one day I heard that something unfortunate and humiliating had happened to this person. And my reaction was deep relief and…happiness. There went the high road. So, why does it feel so good to hear something bad about someone you don’t like? Or someone you DO like? Or someone you don’t KNOW? I once asked the editor of a tabloid newspaper why all of the stories about a famous British couple had a negative bent. He said that when the headline was positive, the paper didn’t sell. Why is that? What’s wrong with us? I asked the sages to shed a little light.

Here’s to washing our mouths out with soap...



For a while there, G and Winona were tight. Inseparable. Gwynnie dated Ben, they set Winona up with Matt Damon, resulting in a perfect Hollywood foursome eventually torn asunder by Shakespeare.

Legend has it Winona had the Shakespeare in Love script on her coffee table at her apartment. Gwyneth saw it, snatched it, and went on to win an Oscar. They broke up over Viola de Lesseps. A lot of people believe this story because you love to hate on Gwyneth. Apparently Winona leaked it herself even though the report was immediately debunked by several industry insiders and eventually dismissed – click here for a Salon article that mentions the absurdity of the allegation.

Still, it’s one of those smutty tall tales we all want to hang on to. Like Richard Gere and the gerbil.

From the sounds of it though, given Gwyneth’s inability to let it go, Winona was the taker in that relationship, and G admits to feeling very pleased when Winona met her fate a few years later. She then asks her wise friends to give us some insight on why we get happy when other people f-ck up.

What I love about this is that even though she claims she’s trying to encourage us to be less petty, she still doesn’t go as far as saying she no longer derives tremendous satisfaction from knowing that Winona has never been the same.

This is the Gwyneth I adore.

Click here for the new GOOP and enjoy while you can. Next week we’re back to cooking. F-ck.

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