God of Tits and Wine
Game Of Thrones Season 3 Episode 8 recap
You know you’ve really gotten into a show when you start to be endlessly frustrated with the characters who just won’t behave the way you need them to. This week had any number of irritants as well as the allegedly “proper” behavior of Joffrey acting like the king dick he is, so I got more than my fair share of screaming at the screen.
Sansa and Tyrion’s wedding didn’t have quite the terrifying feel it maybe was supposed to, perhaps because we know he’s not horrible. He won’t upset her, nor force his way where he’s not wanted (but more on this later). As such, I couldn’t shake my feeling of relief. Out of all the people in the room where Sansa was married, she had arguably fallen into the luckiest hands she could hope for. And so the wedding was relatively uneventful, with the exception of Joffrey’s having stolen the stepstool (and Cersei and Margaery, but we’ll get there).
The question that befuddles me is this: Sansa has known for years that she will marry someone who’s advantageous politically. Sure, she was naïve enough to have her head turned when that person was going to sit on the iron throne, but after escaping that marriage, which would quite literally be a fate worse than death, how can she possibly be anything but thankful when she winds up in a marriage to a man who’s never shown her anything but slightly exhausted concern?
True, he is a dwarf, in her parlance. True too, if unbelievable, that she would be afraid of consummating said marriage. But again, even with her naivete, would sleeping with Tyrion Lannister – assuming she’s heard no rumours from courtyard whispers – be worse than being raped on her wedding night by her former fiancé? Have sense, Sansa. When she asked what would happen if she never welcomed Tyrion to her bed I was screaming “How dumb are you? If you never accept him in your bed, you’ll never produce an heir, and then you’ll be more useless than you are now!”
But of course, if she hadn’t asked, we woulnd’t have seen his hurt face, a reminder that Tyrion Lannister can still be wounded, even by his child bride.
And that’s saying a lot, considering the degree to which he stood up to Joffrey this episode. We’ve seen hints that Tyrion has rages, well-contained and tamped down by tits and wine though they are, and I want to see what happens when he’s pushed still further. I also enjoyed that Tywin Lannister’s usual disgust with his son was tempered a bit by seeing him rage against his repugnant grandson.
Overall, then, the wedding was a somber affair, though I could have listened to Gramma Tyrell go on at length about how “He’ll definitely be your father-in-law, that’s for certain.” HA! I mean, this is the woman Sansa should be taking her cues from – as Margaery already is. Be light, chat away, make the best of things. Of course, Gramma Tyrell never came up against Cersei Lannister. That was some nice, easy, vicious sh*t that we saw. Not even breaking a sweat, but very, very firm on exactly how it’s going to be between the “sisters”. I could call naïve on Margaery’s part too, but I bet she has some plans to deal with the bite that is Cersei. She might rule the seven kingdoms yet.
Speaking of…let’s discuss miss Stormborn for a second. Yes, she’s had some triumphs of late – I liked her line “two weeks ago I had no army” but she really is beyond bold where her own cleverness is concerned, isn’t she? I bought that Daario would off the other members of The Second Sons because they were douchey and overly officious, respectively, but this is also a dude who thrived on being powerful, right? “F*cking a woman who wants you to, and battling a man with a sword” -- is he really going to be content to be Dany’s right hand, no matter how delicious her dripping body was? Also, how will Jorah Marmont feel when he’s slighted yet again?
As for the Stannis Baratheon and Melisandre macabre play, I have trouble with it because Stannis seems to have no emotion. He went to get Davos so that he could be his emotional lifeline and, conceivably, act like a human being would react to things –but it didn’t seem to help much as they both just stared at Gendry with the leeches on him. [Sidebar: my only experience with leeches was reading about them in Laura Ingalls Wilder books. Do they really hurt that much, or is it more of the quease factor that made Gendry scream?]
Stannis, like Daenerys, seems to be moving at a snail’s pace to take the Iron Throne, particularly when in relation to the Robb Starks of the world who seem to want to piss over as much as possible to assert dominance. This is not necessarily a problem, just a curious difference.
This week seemed to deal with the “side” stories, and while I missed Jaime and Brienne, I can’t complain too much about getting to spend time with my adorable Samwell Tarly. I want you all to take it from Gilly – naming a baby is hard, it’s not as simple as just choosing something and going with it. There’s an art to it that my Sam understands. In other news, Sam manages to defeat the White Walker with his magic dagger, but am I mistaken or did he not take it with him when they ran away??? I could have sworn I saw it on the ground as they booked it with the crows behind them.
As a newbie who is being introduced to this series as we watch, I’m not sure what I think about the periodicality of the supernatural elements. The show is entirely entertaining without the White Walkers, who seem to me to be the most far-fetched part (as opposed to, say, Melisandre’s giving birth to a smoke monster. I never said it was reasonable). So I wonder whether more consistent deployment would make them easier to accept than not.
There’s certainly enough else to focus on in the meantime. The unthinkable came to pass – Arya Stark was so astounded by The Hound’s revelation, and about being wrong about his nefarious intentions, that she was rendered speechless. That’s about as dramatic as anything supernatural on this show.