Booty Call 101: Clooney vs Pip

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 19, 2007 00:00:00 June 19, 2007 00:00:00

After gallivanting with Cam at her best across Europe last week, Justin Timberlake evidently needed a booty call. Enter Shelf Ass Jessica Biel. Problem is, he was just quoted in a tabloid calling her clingy. And her publicist probably didn’t appreciate that. Which is probably why the Pip sent for her and backtracked on his “step off” stance from last week, inviting her to join him in Stockholm for the Swedish leg of his tour, bringing her on his private plane, joined also by his best friend and his mum… not unlike George Clooney. Pip and Clooney similarities? You’d be surprised. But George has experience. George doesn’t pick the clingers… and that’s the difference between a seasoned Player Pimp and a young Player Pip.

Compare and contrast:

JT is horny…what does he do? JT pulls out the red carpet treatment, puts his girl up in a swank hotel, and treats her first class all the way. But Jessica Biel is ambitious. Jessica Biel is a tv girl who wants more. Tv girls who want more are always trouble.

George on the other hand. Well when George is horny he pulls out the red carpet treatment too. Invites his girl over to his place, or at a swank hotel, and treats her first class all the way. What’s the difference then? George has a hankering for the cheap. Time and again. Not only because cheap only looks good for now but also because now is the only thing he wants.

Sarah Talley met George Clooney a few months ago in Vegas at the Spearmint Rhino. She worked there as a lapdancer. They chatted, he asked for her number, they texted, he flew her out to be with him, they cuddled and watched movies, he waited a couple of weeks before bedding her, he introduced her to his friends, and then things fizzled, he got busy, his text messages came infrequently, it’s now over…with no hard feelings. And no promises.

The infamous Clooney lack of commitment. And this is a pattern. This is why since Celine Balitran, his conquests have been mostly pin up girls and Playboy types, lapdancers and two bit models and rumour has it, the occasional hooker in Mexico. The man will not be had. Photo of Sarah and George attached.

Moral of the story? Can’t have it both ways. Pip wants to play but he keeps picking from the wrong pool. Two bit tv actresses with movie aspirations and overzealous publicists are the clingiest types out there and at this rate, he is stuck with one ass – the Shelf Ass – for at least 6 more months…minimum. Which means the maximum amount of ass sampling he’ll get in a given year is probably only 2.

The way George works it, with different pieces hidden in different cities…it’s limitless ass, whenever, wherever, all the time. Quantity AND quality – in a manner of speaking.

Wouldn’t hurt Pip to follow that example.

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