Runaway Chuck

December 9, 2008 12:46:00 Posted at December 9, 2008 12:46:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Last night’s Gossip Girl made up for the Humphrey. The word Humphrey is now synonymous with ass. And now we have to wait til January f-cking 5th for a new episode. Gah!

Does anyone care about anything other than Chuck and Blair?

Leighton Meester makes my life.


Leighton Meester is my life.

I want her to date Taylor Kitsch.

Check her out in white and amazingness on set yesterday – Queen B presiding.

Also the promo for the next episode. Chuck on the brink. And messing around in an Asian smoke parlour.

And as always, Michelle, Duana, and I – our weekly Gossip Girl live chat. Honoured you’ve enjoying it. See you in January!

Duana: Wait a second (previouslies) - Dan and Serena only had one night?

Lainey: are you complaining??? Serena! Nightie! The return!

Michelle: It's soooo conservative! Never has a grandmother been so perfectly cast.

Duana: She could be so easily Kelly Rutherford's mom. I'm SO into family-appropriate casting. Do we think the kids are being a bit callous here?

Lainey: I have no idea what you’re talking about. Does that make ME callous? And Lily has more Birkins than Victoria Beckham.

Michelle: But 1000 times more style!

Lainey: Why haven't we met Chuck's room service twins?

Michelle: Cut backs! Remember the Sears dresses from last week?

Duana: Hmmmm. Kelly playing Lily pretending to care and not being able to muster the caring. Something is falling just a hair awry of awesome here, I'm just not sure what.

Michelle: Dorota!!!

Lainey: Wow. Blair's black breakfast dress is an architectural delight.

Duana: When I was a kid, I thought that living in New York and, more importantly, eating lox and bagels, was the most sophisticated thing you could do. I think Judy Blume gave me this impression.

Lainey: Ew. Dan. f-ck off.
Michelle: Ew Aaron. Bad hug.

Lainey: Am all over Serena's funeral necklace. But do we accessorise at funerals?

Michelle: Apparently so and party hair.

Duana: One shoulder funeral dress? Really? Having said that, should I have an untimely passing, feel free to wear colour. Honestly. And…I just...who believes in Aaron? He's wandering around like a leftover extra from Dangerous Liaisons. I'm tired of waiting for him to twirl his moustache and become evil.

Michelle: WTF is Rufus wearing? So boho!

Lainey: He's in a band

Duana: How many interns did it take to dress those leaves?

Lainey: Chuck's hair reflects his mood. Ruffled.

Michelle: And his voice is extra perplexing.

Lainey: Ohhhh. Chuck's drunk a pigeon waddle.

Michelle: But let me guess - it turns you on?!

Lainey: No! Not! I swear!

Duana: Um, I was. He just got sexier. I have a problem with greasy long hair.

Michelle: Uh huh. Oh text wars - I love it!

Lainey: Penis text wars!

Duana: Here's the thing about Dan. When I was in university, I knew Dan. He wore dresses. That was the time it was, back then.

Michelle: Ha! Hey did no one wash their hair this episode?

Duana: Eric's looking for his boyfriend was the realest thing so far. And would be realer if he admitted feeling guiltry for doing so.

Michelle: Is jenny going to a dominatrix club, or a funeral? Old times. This trio cemetery scene rocks.

Duana: But here's the thing. How did we ever even buy Blair and Nate for one second? They have no chemistry.

Duana: Blair holding Chuck's face with the black leather glove - maybe I've just been single too long.

Lainey: What's with Chuck's dragon breathing?

Lainey: Chuck is breaking my heart.

Duana: Chuck's cracking voice is breaking my heart.

Michelle: Real drama. Really good clothes. Dirty Hair. Gossip girl's back.

Duana: Serena with her collar all buttoned up hasn't looked that young in years. And they're giving Ed Westwick the Pattinson treatment.

Lainey: Please. Make Rufus stop singing. I'll do anything.

Michelle: Sleep with Tom Cruise.

Lainey: Fine. He can sing.

Michelle: But please stop Rufus and the waffle shirt.

Duana: Okay, but here's the thing, Rufus - are you a bit pathetic for following this woman around? PS Is Rufus supposed to be any good at the art gallery, or is he leaving it to Vanessa?

Duana: It is SO accurate that when someone dies who is not immediately close, people around the situation talk INCESSANTLY about themselves. I'm not kidding, either. The genius of this episode is that nobody is truly hurting for Bart except maybe Chuck, and even then, not the right way.

Michelle: I love saucy yet maternal Blair.

Duana: God Bless Leighton Meester and if I didn't see her with a bit of flesh on her upper arms! Maybe the key to everything is having people in their teens played by people in their mid to late 20's.

Lainey: Oh! Let's give Jenny something to do! Let's have her crash a wedding!

Michelle: B disses Little J twice! Yay.

Duana: WHY is Jenny even there? Your brother goes home, you go. GO HOME, Jenny. Or, in party of five fashion, you steal a bottle of wine and go make out with Michael Goorjian. You don't pitch a wedding dress.

Lainey: Aaron reminds me of curdled milk.

Michelle: Who has airline tickets like that anymore?!

Duana: Did Blake get a chemical peel or quit smoking? She looks 8 years younger.

Lainey: Please. Blake is too perfect to smoke.

Duana: Lily, on the other hand, no flesh on her upper arms. Are we taking bets on Lily's secret? Prostitute or what?

Lainey: Who does Jonathan remind me of?

Michelle: A Jonas Brother?

Michelle: No bad call. Jonathan Silverman.

Lainey: Weekend at Bernie's

Duana: Um, I think he looks more like Paul Pfeiffer from the wonder Years.

Duana: SLAP. Do people really do that? I'm SO impressed with this episode.

Michelle: Ouch ultra mean Chuck. Oddly drives Blair wild?

Lainey: Ultra hurting Chuck. This makes sense to me. I like the ones that hurt. Yum.

Michelle: Is she wearing Tory Burch flats?

Duana: Um, Blair's never allowed running in flats again. That's what I look like when I run in flats. In heels, I'm like a gazelle.

Lainey: you’re a freak in heels.

Duana: OK, what? Hospital in france, WHAT? Adopted baby?

Michelle: This limo scene goes down in GG history.

Lainey: That was worth every bad episode.

Michelle: We have to remind ourselves of that in '09.

Lainey: I'm reminding myself of that now. As we suffer through Bland and Dan.

Duana: Oh, please. Blair knows he loves her too, doesn't she? Sorry, Bride wars is a movie?

Lainey: Bride Wars is a KATE HUDSON movie. It should become clear now.

Duana: Serena isn't smart enough to speak the way they write her. I hate her airheaded delivery. I don't know where my hatred is coming from.

Lainey: her breasts

Duana: APE_ricot? really? Shut up, Dan. Who talks like this with parents? Stepparents? Is it only my parents who would have told me I was insane for saying I loved anyone at 17?

Lainey: Leighton's face is perfect.

Michelle: Seriously. She's stunning.

Lainey: Do all rich people mourn like this?

Michelle: At least they do on TV. And thank god for that.

Lainey: This is why I should be rich. I think I could mourn like that. Over Bart.

Duana: Why are Dan and Aaron Serena's only two choices? Why is a 17 year old going away for Christmas with a boy? Why is Serena?

Michelle: That would totally be my mom's reaction if I was going away to South America for Christmas at 17 with my new boyfriend.

Duana: But WHY? Why didn't Lilly go for him the first time? How can he be right for her now?

Michelle: At least a mullet made it on to GG. The PI casting call must have said "Long Island sense of style."

Lainey: Serena trenchcoat! Naked underneath? Or a nightie?
Michelle: I'm sure she has a wedding appropriate mini dress underneath.

Duana: In fourth year when they're both at Yale, Dan and Blair will spend one snowy weekend in bed, having half-hearted sex once or twice but mostly talking about how they konw how to fix everyone else's lives. Then they'll continue nodding at each other around campus.

Michelle: That was officially appropriate satin on B. Not tight. Cut on the bias. Complimentary.

Michelle: Dorota's a bridesmaid!!!

Lainey: Why is Serena part of the wedding party? Her dress is messy!

Michelle: But her tights are fab.

Lainey: How f-cking cute is Dorota's headband?

Michelle: Only a bit less cute than how excited she is to be at the wedding.

Duana: Leighton is stunning. I have such a crush on her.

Michelle: What?! The dragon sheds tears? Amazing.

Duana: I'm not sure I believe Chuck wouldn't use the knowledge for something.

Duana: What is HAPPENING to Jenny Humphrey on this show? Where is she? She whines and makes dresses! Why does she not have a peer group?

Lainey: Bad lighting on Blair's shadow moustache

Duana: Shut up. I won't hear a word against her. Even though she looks like when Laura Ingalls would get out of bed to talk to Pa about things that were troubling her.

Michelle: Lighting can do nothing for Rufus' bad turtleneck.

Duana: I wish they didn't live in Brooklyn somewhere. I wish they were upper-west-side impoverished.

Duana: GO AWAY AARON. GO AWAY. I HATE YOU. CHIN ON CHEST. DON'T TALK ABOUT SLEEPING TOGETHER. You're going to want to like, sit with the locals on the beach and pretend to learn their songs, aren't you?

Duana: Rufus just said Hell. It must be bad.


Lainey: Duana’s convulsing…

Lainey: Yeah so my eyes just welled up. Only Chuck and Blair – and dogs – can make me cry.

Michelle: Ummmm. I won't say you were alone.

Michelle: But they follow each amazing scene up with a Humphrey.

Michelle: Aaron has the acting skills of Keanu Reeves.

Lainey: But Keanu is really well read. Aaron reads subway ads.

Lainey: Runaway Chuck never coming back...

Duana: I love Chuck. I want him to come back.

Michelle: So Dan and Serena gain a half-sibling. Chuck a heart for a moment. And Blair a new level of amazing style.

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