The Snowflake Ball

Lainey Posted by Lainey at December 2, 2008 14:04:00 December 2, 2008 14:04:00

Last night’s Gossip Girl… not so sharp. And still a not so sharp Gossip Girl is much much MUCH more watchable than 90210. Seriously. What happened there? How did they screw that up?

Sorry to digress.

Once again we were treated to a gluttonous display of Serena’s breasts. Once again, Blair and Chuck proved we could easily watch an entire season about them ONLY and the world would be a better place.

Attached – recent on set photos. Taylor Momsen’s head and bones. And Serena and Dan fighting about …who cares?!? Does anyone care about Serena and Dan??? Damn. Those tights look horrific on her legs.

As is customary, and thank you for your support of it, Michelle, Duana, and I, our weekly live GG chat below.

Michelle:
Ready set Rufus

Lainey:
Did chuck's voice drop a few octaves in 2 weeks? Or am I just horny?

Duana
I forgot about the Lily Bass Dossier! OK, I'm delighted again. Except I still hate that guy's chin.

Lainey:
You mean Aaron? He who smells like milk? Ew. Make him leave.

Duana:
Poor B. Serena dominates the society pages every day. You'd think Chuck could be into an oral fixation.

Michelle:
B would never use Times New Roman. Um a metallic Birkin bag?!

Duana:
Uh oh. The writers banged this one out before everyone went home for Christmas. "Name" shaped hole in my wall is a reference that...actually, I don't know if I was born when that was last current.

Lainey:
Yeah but it came from Jenny. She’s a Humphrey. Therefore lame and sucky.

Michelle:
Ha sad Blair wannabe! Notice Jenny's eyes are border line bad girl.

Duana:
UM, Nastia Liukin is in this? I thought sweeps ended last week?

Michelle:
What's sweeping me is Serena's sequin top is at Zara right now.

Duana:
OK, penelope was WAY too long ago for me to remember why Jenny hates her. Also, Jenny has no problems. So why should I worry about her? Things literally fall in her lap.

Lainey:
Bonus points to Duana for actually sticking around for Penelope’s scene. I went to the kitchen for ice cream during those 30 seconds.

Duana:
The exposition in this ep is worse than usual . "Blather reason why I'm here at the top of the scene blah blah Bart Bass, flirty flirt, I love you!”

Michelle:
Oooh Jeff Buckley how legit.

Duana:
As someone whose parents never had any music, do kids really keep track of who their parents' albums are?

Lainey:
Dunno. Mine are immigrants too. Immigrant parents don’t listen to music? Discuss.


Michelle:
Is it a sign that we have nothing to say about lily and rufus?

Duana:
How many times do you think they'll say "Snowflake Ball" this ep?

Michelle:
I'm sorry what ball? The SNOWFLAKE ball?

Duana:
Countdown is 24 minutes until vanessa's conscience makes her do what she thinks is the right thing, but what will mess up everyone's life. And possibly the ball.

Michelle:
Do you think Lexi's character was the writers way of saying everything they want to about Serena? Ew Nate and Vanessa kissing!!!

Duana:
Or paraphrased...ew, Vanessa's blush.

Lainey:
F-ck dan and his Normal Mailer fixation. Dan sucks.

Duana:
I don't want to age - but I really want to be old enough to wear Lily's coat/scarf/necktie thing.

Duana
How many more characters on TV this year will be called Lexi? And what will be the trendy TV name of next year? I'm calling Adrienne.

Michelle:
I'll go with Logan for a girl. Ok Dan did just have a funny.

Lainey:
Logan's good. But I'm going with Lauren or Bella. The Hills vs Twilight.

Lainey:
I officially don't give a sh-t about dan serena fourplay. Just leave Serena’s breasts and the rest can fall into a ditch.

Duana:
No he's not. And you know what I'm referring to.

Michelle:
I'll ignore you. And point out Jenny's added more eye makeup and it's the same day!

Duana:
I WANT BLAIR'S DRESS. And it's on sale at Saks.

Michelle:
We can buy it and split the cost! I'm glad we got a Dorota fix.

Lainey:
Damn you tall people. I can’t share your clothes. I'd play sex games for Dorota too.

Michelle:
Why is it that on TV shows, people only ask their date the day before the dance?!

Duana:
aaaand Jenny on drugs in... Feb sweeps or before?

Michelle:
Hmmm before. Chuck playing the piano kills me. Where does he get his sartorial sense? Definitely not from Daddy Bart.

Duana:
Do I have to pretend Lexi is in high school? She's older than I am.

Lainey:
Lexi is my age. Translation: ancient.

Duana:
Um, remember how Blair didn't know anything about sex? Or guys and sex? How come she's saying things like "Lexi coaster"? Which is disgusting and beneath her.

Michelle:
Very true. I'm not buying it.

Michelle:
Ummm vanessa, lisa bonet called and she wants her sweater back.

Michelle:
I want to be Dorota's Facebook friend!

Duana:
That dress is the first time that vanessa's looked as pretty as they tell me she's supposed to.

Duana:
I just want Chuck Bass on all my shows. I want him to host etalk. That was a weird foot shot.

Michelle:
It was, but I'm more distracted by tacky mural on the wall.

Duana:
Okay, half a point for the idea of Dorota on facebook, but major down point for 'loose girl'. I feel like this episode was written by Briane Nasimok.

Michelle:
And he may have also done Vanessa's styling. Does she need sparkly earrings with her sparkly dress?

Lainey:
Dan’s white boy dancing just made this show. The most authentic moment on gossip girl.

Duana:
WHAT DID I SAY!!!! Vanessa does something stupidly noble and will ruin the dance!!!

Michelle:
And while Vanessa looks good, apparently Lily has to wear a toga as punishment?! Their doppelgangers actually look age appropriate. Maybe that's why B laughed out loud at the sight of Chuck Jr.

Duana:
I don't like the witches of eastwick there, and I don't buy that showing someone's underwear is that big a deal. But Chuck is so pretty, and Blair....Blair is breathtaking.

Michelle:
Agreed. Especially since noone balks at Serena's boobs.

Lainey:
Because they’re hypnotised by her boobs. I’m hypnotised by her boobs. Boobs boobs boobs boobs.

Duana:
I'm not even pretending anymore. I just want to be Blair Waldorf. WHO TALKS LIKE THIS??? NOBODY TALKS LIKE THIS.

Lainey:
I disagree on Chuck. He’s wearing Evgeni Plushenko’s long programme costume from the Olympics.

Duana:
I really, really dislike Lexi a lot. Lilly does look terrible. White is not for her. OK, Serena walks in on Lily and Rufus together?

Lainey:
Really? I'm down with her in white. My mom can't wear white. She eats with her mouth open.

Michelle:
She doesn't seem to care. But I do now know how many beautymarks each of Serena's breasts have.

Michelle:
They blew the wardrobe budget on B and S. Everyone else's dresses were bought at Sears.

Duana:
Including the cougar's. Honestly, if they'd just played this woman for her age, it coudl've been funny.

Michelle:
What happened to the Asian girl with glasses? That was a potential make over C plot for this episode.

Duana:
Nelly Yuki! I love Nelly Yuki! I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. But there is nothing about this that fits outside of Ready Or Not. Everyone has seen her in her bathing suit, or would, right? What exactly is the problem here? I'm only going to say this once but at least on Degrassi we had a girl take off her clothes in public for real...

Lainey:
Why is it asians are always called yuki for cho cho? What's wrong with Jennifer Lam???

Michelle:
I agree. But I'm having trouble thinking of another way to embarrass her? And p.s. How did Dan not see the Vanessa thing go down?

Michelle:
J's dark eyes have entered the room.

Duana:
And since when are the princess poufs back?

Michelle:
They were on sale at Sears. 2 for 1.

Duana:
Sorry sorry sorrysorry wait. Nate knows enough about dressmaking to be able to blame Vanessa's dubious humiliation on JENNY? Because she doesn't have a lining?

Lainey:
Yes duana. Because chace crawford is gay.

Michelle:
Maybe he took Home Ec? What's even more ridiculous is this crazy connection b/w Nate + Vanessa but we've never really seen them together.

Duana:
Salient point. Nate is actually managing to look nerdy in his earnestness right now. I don't care, I still like Vanessa's dress. Even though it looks to be made of Claire's Accessories.

Duana:
I guess my point is cool girl art chic homeschool Vanessa is going to get embarrassed because she got spotted wearing a pair of fullback underwear? I just expect more of this show. If it was supposed to be an upskirt or a Britney or something, they should've done that. (Sidebar - one of my all time favourite moments of the Hills was when Lauren referred to having accidentally having seen Lo's "Britney")

Michelle:
That's true. That would have been a better pop culture reference rather than Al Gore's daughter's see-through dress at Cannes 2006.

Duana:
Why isn’t Chuck with an older woman? Is it because she'd never give him up? Nate's so lame.

Michelle:
Maybe that's why he's getting Dorota?! Maybe it's too much Twilight, but I feel like Chuck wants to bite Blair.

Duana:
The extras budget was also spent on the dresses, apparently. That's a pretty empty ball.

Michelle:
No one's ever looked more geeky in a tux than Dan.

Duana:
Hmm, your beauty mark on breasts comment is exacerbated by that speckled dress. Draws the eye there. She's certainly got 'em.

Duana:
I'm tiiiired of these two. They're like overly polite college roommates for the first three weeks.

Lainey:
Do we believe that boys write letters and mail them? Or only boys who use straightening irons?

Lainey:
I'm a sap. I like the way Vanessa's voice caught when she said "does it maaaaatter?" Am I getting christmas soft?


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