Poppy can’t act
We’ve now designed a place for girls like her. We refer to it a few times in our weekly chat.
After the hilarious brilliance of last week, yesterday’s episode fell a little flat. Cater waiter!
It sets up however for a Poppy season ending takedown, and taking a bitch down is what this show is all about. Also, we need some prom action. Where’s Nelly Yuki?
Good news – I’m back to being bored with Nate although I am terribly amused by Chace Crawford’s attempt at badassness by growing “stubble”, all while maintaining his perfectly manicured head of elf hair. Here he is today shooting scenes with 50 Cent in New York on the set of Twelve. You needed a laugh today, didn’t you?
Finally, before you beginning reading our weekly – thanks to Helen for sending this along – have you seen Ed Westwick’s amazing interview with Grazia Magazine in London? Can I just say how much I love that he is physically INCAPABLE of NOT looking at the camera?
Over and over again I die.
Gossip Girl Weekly
Lainey: so i took my parents to dimsum before they drove me to the airport. It came to $33.99
Duana : For how many?
Lainey: 3 people. I left 2 $20s.
Duana : Uh oh.
Lainey: it's a $6 dollar f-cking tip! Of course they had to wait for the change.
Duana : Which one gave you grief? Your mom
Lainey: I was headed to a flight and they had to wait for change. BOTH OF THEM.
Duana : "6 dollars? You know what 6 dollars can buy?" So what did they ultimately leave as a tip?
Lainey: They waited for the loonie. A LOONIE. Do you know what a LOONIE can buy? She actually waited to pick up the loonie. What’s the difference between $5 and $6??? Mortified.
Duana : HAHAHAH
Lainey: Then she told me in the car that i shouldn't "spoil" the service staff. Because they go there all the time.
Duana : That's amazing
Lainey: cater waiter!
Duana : PS eating kraft dinner
Michelle: J is sick so i'm being florence nightingale
Duana : oh no
Duana : does he have what I have? stupid cough?
Lainey: i'm perverted so i that that was a sex game.
Michelle: no he has a stomach thing. You are perverted!
Duana : Seriously, E, back of the room
Lainey: i'm sorry! i saw "nightingale" and thought of S's nightie!
Duana : That's like having sex fantasies about Laura Ingalls Wilder
Lainey: does billy ray cyrus's soul patch count as ironic facial hair?
Duana : I still can't take Nate seriously as someone's boyfriend.
Michelle: from friend to boyfriend in 1 episode. I feel like this is me trying to make Laura take the subway
Duana : HAHAH. Did you ever get her into the subway?
Lainey: when would Nate have taken the subway anyway???
Michelle: when he was poor for 4 episodes
Duana : Do you all have trunks? I would love a trunk
Michelle: My bro has the trunk. I'm jealous
Duana : I want Blair's entire outfit.
Michelle: I like these girls actually acting like friends
Duana : Was it a family trunk? Can we just blog about the trunk and duana's fantasies of Ivy League US universities?
Lainey: but i don't have trunk knowledge. is it a white people thing?
Duana : But also Serena delivering all these lines is so ....wallpaper
Michelle: this made me think... Serena's girls haven't co-starred in a while
Duana : That's true, although we did see her lips for a bit now
Lainey: chuck is playing ball with an ascot.
Michelle: If Bass bought an NBA team, he'd make them part of the uniform
Lainey: i hate Gabriel's lips so much.
Lainey: he's grosser than Aaron!
Duana : UGH.
Michelle: If they had kids, what would their voices be like?
Lainey: Emmy Rossum
Duana : I'd be HONORED. the voice sounds like a frog
Michelle: Why are there so many songs about rainbows?
Duana : I haaaate boys who are uncomfortable with their wealth
Duana : have we seen these two kiss? Is S his beard?
Lainey: There's a spying hat. I love this.
Michelle: And a full length coat - nice touch
Michelle: Realization - Chuck Bass has a similar profile to Robert Pattinson
Duana : worried about my best friend = jealous
Lainey: no V again!
Michelle: you're about to get popped
Duana : me?
Michelle: no E about V
Duana : Ohhh, those are the spoilers of a woman who SAW THIS ALREADY
Lainey: Blair's dress was made for me.
Duana : It's true. It's the one Blair thing I wouldn't wear.
Lainey: it's because of the food theme.
Duana : How much do I have to not eat to have the figure of a 24 year old actress playing 17?
Michelle: really? i thought it could be our sisterhood of the travelling dress
Duana : Um, Ann Brashares wrote a new book about the pants, it's called Willows. I am starting it tonight.
Duana : Serena doesn't hate lying, she loves lying.
Lainey: the same characters?
Duana : new girls. Same pants.
Michelle: sorry i'm distracted by the fact gabrielle's wearing a full suit
Duana : Who caaaaaaaaaaares about Gabriel's company?
Michelle: shouldn't they be in school?
Lainey: Where are the Willows?
Duana : I love that Serena is negotiating the other woman?
Michelle: hold up - if Serena cares about Poppy, why hasn't she talked to her since Spain?
Duana : I assumed Poppy left in a huff.
Duana : wearing a throwaway J Crew bathing suit
Lainey: I would leave a guy for talking to me about me in the third person
Duana : Wouldn't it have been nice to SEE these two fall in love?
Lainey: F-ck. it's V.
Duana : Cater Waiter! Drink!
Michelle: Maybe V got last week off to film those Dove ads
Duana : Go to School, Vanessa.
Michelle: When did Little J get her personality back (a bit)
Duana : She's stealing Lily's zoloft?
Duana : Look at the lack of girls? M, please analyze?
Michelle: Must be all tape and mirrors?
Michelle: E is going to want this dress too
Duana : Take off that dress, S.
Duana : GUAM!
Lainey: I don't want this dress. or the blue one?
Michelle: blue one
Duana : Blue = bad. Pink leopard = growing on me
Lainey: they're cherries!
Lainey: And leave my dress alone.
Michelle: Lies - Blair wants there to be Serena drama to compensate for her lack of drama
Duana : Can Vanessa please seduce Rufus?
Duana : Like, what is her PURPOSE?
Lainey: Vanessa Hudgens too.
Michelle: Moral sounding board (bored)?
Michelle: I can't wait for them to sleep together in the season finale.
Duana : now, I already know I'm an old curmudgeon because I was appalled at the service at Williams Coffee Pub today - but has anyone suggested to Rufus that he get a JOB?
Duana : I love that Chuck won't let him live in Murray Hill.
Lainey: Nate's elf hair is making me crazy.
Michelle: And why is he being dressed by Old Navy?
Michelle: Remind me - why are these guys friends?
Duana : It's like George Clooney fighting with Shia LaBeouf though, it's not a fair fight.
Lainey: Here's my problem with the "new" Nate: if he's so secure, why is he suddenly so insecure?
Michelle: True - he's too busy convincing himself
Michelle: E - what do you think about me Chuck / R-Pattz comparison?
Michelle: pale, lack of profile, weird eyebrows, bad american accents
Lainey: i am ignoring it. but can you please tell laura?
Lainey: Chuck doesn't have a bad american accent!
Duana : yes he does, it's generic.
Duana : And I have total baby fever
Duana : ( I wanted to say it so E wouldn't be able to scream because we were about to work)
Michelle: (ha - did Lizzie do something cute today or something?)
Duana : Blair = wrapping paper
Duana : ff to everyone in serena's room. Poppy - not a good actress.
Michelle: but good hair
Duana : Good hair.
Duana : (babies at birthday party).
Duana : Ew, ew, ew 'she swept me away'
Michelle: She can go to the "hot girls who can't act" GG graveyard (please see Chuck's hooker true love)
Duana : Cute face, though
Lainey: And Mischa Barton.
Duana : He's so...beige
Lainey: He is Ridge Forrester.
Duana : Blair's face just there was hilarious. Like imitating a gameshow host.
Lainey: V matches the beer.
Michelle: This show loves chartreuse
Duana : I forgot when V was with chuck for five seconds.
Michelle: So did everyone else.
Duana : Why are we doing this? Other than to make me giggle?
Duana : This is a funny game.
Lainey: let's play i never.
Michelle: Have you never played it?
Lainey: not in years!
Duana : Oh I have, but not in years.
Duana : I just meant Vanessa and Dan's version was giggle-ful
Michelle: I think you're warming up to Dan
Lainey: I never liked Little J this episode.
Duana : I don't mind him when he's being a cater waiter and not taking care of serena's virtue.
Duana : Are you drinking?
Michelle: me? not right now
Duana : No, E's I never confused me
Michelle: Gabriel can't wear a suit and that's pretty much his only point in the episode
Lainey: i have no wine in the house.
Duana : nevermind, nevermind.
Duana : But THAT is a podcast topic
Duana : "I never"
Lainey: can't they give chuck some heels?
Michelle: He should ask Tom for his wedges
Michelle: I miss Dorota
Lainey: And her Mets cap.
Michelle: I also miss Nelly Yuki
Duana : I miss Lily's midsection
Michelle: And Rufus' buddah beads are MIA
Lainey: Duana, will this season end with Gabrielle not stealing all of Bass Industries money? I'm worried.
Duana : It better f-cking not.
Duana : Who cares about money?
Duana : SERIOUSLY
Michelle: you did the Gabrielle/Gabriel this too!
Lainey: Duana, just tell me. I need to know.
Michelle: Serena raised her voice - Emmy nom!
Duana : I want this season to end with Gabriel in bed with Rufus, or something. I'm not kidding. I hate the money shenanigans on this show.
Duana : they actually just had a snake sound effect.
Lainey: So it won't? Because i need Bass to keep his money. And Serena too.
Duana : These two hook up badly in what, 4 minutes?
Michelle: Ya they tried the whole Nate losing his money thing and it was no fun
Duana : I never liked V's top. A lot. *drinks*
Michelle: Gabriel is the (un)friendly giant.
Lainey: I'm ok with the Brooklyn people getting poorer though.
Lainey: Rufus needs heels too.
Duana : Rufus needs to be a soulless middle manager
Duana : I actually can't look at Nate. Like, WHAT does he see in Blair?
Michelle: He'll become the guidance counsellor at Constance
Duana : passionless, exhibit A
Duana : Sorry, this toiletry scene is funny
Duana : what is blair taking, zoloft?
Michelle: see i was thinking altoids
Lainey: how is it they can move in so quickly?
Duana : are those anagrams?
Duana : Why not? Packers, movers, Dorota
Lainey: people who find god frighten me. would you ever go to a mega church?
Duana : Whoooo? Compound?
Lainey: ew, f-ck, ew.
Michelle: apparently so and God made her dye her hair too dark
Duana : Dude, Crunchy Granola Georgina?
Michelle: never trust a man with red sheets
Lainey: Gabrielle's red satin sheets...F-cking gross.
Duana : I was just going to talk about that!
Duana : Coloured sheets = automatically tacky!
Duana : red sheets, anyway
Michelle: I don't want to see Gabriel, so why would I want to see so much of his nipple
Duana : ugh! chills! Run, S!
Duana : There you go, Cresp, the dark hair was a plot point
Duana : Did Serena just get out of bed in a slip?
Lainey: i love Georgina's hair.
Duana : of course you do
Michelle: I can't imagine why
Duana : she's not that good an actress, either
Michelle: Are you just angry she broke up with an Ashmore?
Duana : Did she?
Michelle: Ya she broke his Brampton heart
Duana : No, that's fine, I'll take that Ashmore and continue Brampton lineage
Duana : Wait, which one is hers? I like the Veronica Mars one, not the X Men one
Lainey: which one?
Michelle: I think the Veronica one (Aaron)... stand by
Duana : I think hers was Shawn, but I prefer Aaron
Duana : wait, was that it?
Michelle: you're right shawn
Michelle: I admire Poppy's Excel skills
Duana : excel skills? I see her making out on him
Duana : SO Confused
Michelle: Is Rufus at the door?
Michelle: poor Murray Hill. We couldn't afford to even rent there.
Lainey: i couldn't even afford a one night stand there.
Duana : Is Blair's coat Milly?
Michelle: Seems like it should be...
Duana : But he shouldn't trust you, Blair, so that's like a hexagon of conflicty emotions, huh?
Duana : Trachtenberg Haaaaaaaaaaaate
Michelle: Notice they stopped mentioning the Humphrey mom altogether?
Duana : rufus got a better blond
Michelle: Chuck in a cab and Blair on the subway. Makes for an ok episode
Duana : But Rufus is a schmuck, so...balance?
Lainey: so why isn't chuck attracted to georgina? explain.
Duana : She'd give it to him in a second
Duana : Where's the appeal?
Michelle: He probably finds her too simple because she actually got caught in her own web
Duana : I mean, Chuck bass has disposable girls for that
Michelle: Please see the GG hot girls graveyard
Photos from Wenn.com