Poppy can’t act

April 28, 2009 20:34:00 Posted at April 28, 2009 20:34:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

We’ve now designed a place for girls like her. We refer to it a few times in our weekly chat.

After the hilarious brilliance of last week, yesterday’s episode fell a little flat. Cater waiter!

It sets up however for a Poppy season ending takedown, and taking a bitch down is what this show is all about. Also, we need some prom action. Where’s Nelly Yuki?

Good news – I’m back to being bored with Nate although I am terribly amused by Chace Crawford’s attempt at badassness by growing “stubble”, all while maintaining his perfectly manicured head of elf hair. Here he is today shooting scenes with 50 Cent in New York on the set of Twelve. You needed a laugh today, didn’t you?

Finally, before you beginning reading our weekly – thanks to Helen for sending this along – have you seen Ed Westwick’s amazing interview with Grazia Magazine in London? Can I just say how much I love that he is physically INCAPABLE of NOT looking at the camera?

Over and over again I die.

Gossip Girl Weekly

Lainey: so i took my parents to dimsum before they drove me to the airport. It came to $33.99

Duana : For how many?

Lainey: 3 people. I left 2 $20s.

Duana : Uh oh.

Lainey: it's a $6 dollar f-cking tip! Of course they had to wait for the change.

Duana : Which one gave you grief? Your mom

Lainey: I was headed to a flight and they had to wait for change. BOTH OF THEM.

Duana : "6 dollars? You know what 6 dollars can buy?" So what did they ultimately leave as a tip?

Lainey: They waited for the loonie. A LOONIE. Do you know what a LOONIE can buy? She actually waited to pick up the loonie. What’s the difference between $5 and $6??? Mortified.


Lainey: Then she told me in the car that i shouldn't "spoil" the service staff. Because they go there all the time.

Duana : That's amazing

Lainey: cater waiter!

Duana : PS eating kraft dinner

Michelle: J is sick so i'm being florence nightingale

Duana : oh no

Duana : does he have what I have? stupid cough?

Lainey: i'm perverted so i that that was a sex game.

Michelle: no he has a stomach thing. You are perverted!

Duana : Seriously, E, back of the room

Lainey: i'm sorry! i saw "nightingale" and thought of S's nightie!

Duana : That's like having sex fantasies about Laura Ingalls Wilder

Lainey: does billy ray cyrus's soul patch count as ironic facial hair?

Duana : I still can't take Nate seriously as someone's boyfriend.

Michelle: from friend to boyfriend in 1 episode. I feel like this is me trying to make Laura take the subway

Duana : HAHAH. Did you ever get her into the subway?

Lainey: when would Nate have taken the subway anyway???

Michelle: when he was poor for 4 episodes

Duana : Do you all have trunks? I would love a trunk

Michelle: My bro has the trunk. I'm jealous

Duana : I want Blair's entire outfit.

Michelle: I like these girls actually acting like friends

Duana : Was it a family trunk? Can we just blog about the trunk and duana's fantasies of Ivy League US universities?

Lainey: but i don't have trunk knowledge. is it a white people thing?

Duana : But also Serena delivering all these lines is so ....wallpaper

Michelle: this made me think... Serena's girls haven't co-starred in a while

Duana : That's true, although we did see her lips for a bit now

Lainey: chuck is playing ball with an ascot.

Michelle: If Bass bought an NBA team, he'd make them part of the uniform

Lainey: i hate Gabriel's lips so much.

Lainey: EWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!

Lainey: he's grosser than Aaron!

Duana : UGH.

Michelle: If they had kids, what would their voices be like?

Lainey: Emmy Rossum

Duana : I'd be HONORED. the voice sounds like a frog

Michelle: Why are there so many songs about rainbows?

Duana : I haaaate boys who are uncomfortable with their wealth

Duana : have we seen these two kiss? Is S his beard?

Lainey: There's a spying hat. I love this.

Michelle: And a full length coat - nice touch

Michelle: Realization - Chuck Bass has a similar profile to Robert Pattinson

Duana : worried about my best friend = jealous

Lainey: no V again!

Michelle: you're about to get popped
Duana : me?

Michelle: no E about V

Duana : Ohhh, those are the spoilers of a woman who SAW THIS ALREADY

Michelle: oops

Lainey: Blair's dress was made for me.

Duana : It's true. It's the one Blair thing I wouldn't wear.

Lainey: it's because of the food theme.

Duana : How much do I have to not eat to have the figure of a 24 year old actress playing 17?

Michelle: really? i thought it could be our sisterhood of the travelling dress

Duana : Um, Ann Brashares wrote a new book about the pants, it's called Willows. I am starting it tonight.

Duana : Serena doesn't hate lying, she loves lying.

Lainey: the same characters?

Duana : new girls. Same pants.

Michelle: sorry i'm distracted by the fact gabrielle's wearing a full suit

Duana : Who caaaaaaaaaaares about Gabriel's company?

Michelle: shouldn't they be in school?

Lainey: Where are the Willows?

Duana : I love that Serena is negotiating the other woman?

Michelle: hold up - if Serena cares about Poppy, why hasn't she talked to her since Spain?

Duana : I assumed Poppy left in a huff.

Duana : wearing a throwaway J Crew bathing suit

Lainey: I would leave a guy for talking to me about me in the third person

Duana : Wouldn't it have been nice to SEE these two fall in love?

Lainey: F-ck. it's V.

Duana : Cater Waiter! Drink!

Michelle: Maybe V got last week off to film those Dove ads

Duana : Go to School, Vanessa.

Michelle: When did Little J get her personality back (a bit)

Duana : She's stealing Lily's zoloft?

Duana : Look at the lack of girls? M, please analyze?

Michelle: Must be all tape and mirrors?

Michelle: E is going to want this dress too

Duana : Take off that dress, S.

Duana : GUAM!

Lainey: I don't want this dress. or the blue one?

Michelle: blue one

Duana : Blue = bad. Pink leopard = growing on me

Lainey: they're cherries!

Lainey: And leave my dress alone.

Michelle: Lies - Blair wants there to be Serena drama to compensate for her lack of drama

Duana : Can Vanessa please seduce Rufus?

Duana : Like, what is her PURPOSE?

Lainey: Vanessa Hudgens too.

Michelle: Moral sounding board (bored)?

Michelle: I can't wait for them to sleep together in the season finale.

Duana : now, I already know I'm an old curmudgeon because I was appalled at the service at Williams Coffee Pub today - but has anyone suggested to Rufus that he get a JOB?

Duana : I love that Chuck won't let him live in Murray Hill.

Lainey: Nate's elf hair is making me crazy.

Michelle: And why is he being dressed by Old Navy?

Michelle: Remind me - why are these guys friends?

Duana : It's like George Clooney fighting with Shia LaBeouf though, it's not a fair fight.

Lainey: Here's my problem with the "new" Nate: if he's so secure, why is he suddenly so insecure?

Michelle: True - he's too busy convincing himself

Michelle: E - what do you think about me Chuck / R-Pattz comparison?

Michelle: pale, lack of profile, weird eyebrows, bad american accents
Lainey: i am ignoring it. but can you please tell laura?

Lainey: Chuck doesn't have a bad american accent!

Duana : yes he does, it's generic.

Duana : And I have total baby fever

Michelle: huh?!

Lainey: ???????

Duana : ( I wanted to say it so E wouldn't be able to scream because we were about to work)

Michelle: (ha - did Lizzie do something cute today or something?)

Duana : Blair = wrapping paper

Duana : ff to everyone in serena's room. Poppy - not a good actress.

Michelle: but good hair

Duana : Good hair.

Duana : (babies at birthday party).

Duana : Ew, ew, ew 'she swept me away'

Michelle: She can go to the "hot girls who can't act" GG graveyard (please see Chuck's hooker true love)

Duana : Cute face, though

Lainey: And Mischa Barton.

Duana : He's so...beige

Lainey: He is Ridge Forrester.

Duana : Blair's face just there was hilarious. Like imitating a gameshow host.

Lainey: V matches the beer.

Michelle: This show loves chartreuse

Duana : I forgot when V was with chuck for five seconds.

Michelle: So did everyone else.

Duana : Why are we doing this? Other than to make me giggle?

Duana : This is a funny game.

Lainey: let's play i never.

Michelle: Have you never played it?

Lainey: not in years!

Duana : Oh I have, but not in years.

Michelle: Ditto

Duana : I just meant Vanessa and Dan's version was giggle-ful

Michelle: I think you're warming up to Dan

Lainey: I never liked Little J this episode.

Duana : I don't mind him when he's being a cater waiter and not taking care of serena's virtue.

Duana : Are you drinking?

Michelle: me? not right now

Duana : No, E's I never confused me

Michelle: Gabriel can't wear a suit and that's pretty much his only point in the episode

Lainey: i have no wine in the house.

Duana : nevermind, nevermind.

Duana : But THAT is a podcast topic

Duana : "I never"

Lainey: can't they give chuck some heels?

Michelle: He should ask Tom for his wedges

Michelle: I miss Dorota

Lainey: And her Mets cap.

Michelle: I also miss Nelly Yuki

Duana : I miss Lily's midsection

Michelle: And Rufus' buddah beads are MIA

Lainey: Duana, will this season end with Gabrielle not stealing all of Bass Industries money? I'm worried.

Duana : It better f-cking not.

Duana : Who cares about money?


Michelle: you did the Gabrielle/Gabriel this too!

Lainey: Duana, just tell me. I need to know.

Michelle: Serena raised her voice - Emmy nom!

Duana : I want this season to end with Gabriel in bed with Rufus, or something. I'm not kidding. I hate the money shenanigans on this show.

Duana : they actually just had a snake sound effect.

Lainey: So it won't? Because i need Bass to keep his money. And Serena too.

Duana : These two hook up badly in what, 4 minutes?

Michelle: Ya they tried the whole Nate losing his money thing and it was no fun

Duana : I never liked V's top. A lot. *drinks*

Michelle: Gabriel is the (un)friendly giant.

Lainey: I'm ok with the Brooklyn people getting poorer though.

Lainey: Rufus needs heels too.

Duana : Rufus needs to be a soulless middle manager

Duana : I actually can't look at Nate. Like, WHAT does he see in Blair?

Michelle: He'll become the guidance counsellor at Constance

Duana : passionless, exhibit A

Duana : Sorry, this toiletry scene is funny

Duana : what is blair taking, zoloft?

Michelle: see i was thinking altoids

Lainey: how is it they can move in so quickly?

Duana : are those anagrams?

Duana : Why not? Packers, movers, Dorota

Lainey: people who find god frighten me. would you ever go to a mega church?

Duana : Whoooo? Compound?

Lainey: ew, f-ck, ew.

Michelle: apparently so and God made her dye her hair too dark

Duana : Dude, Crunchy Granola Georgina?

Michelle: never trust a man with red sheets

Lainey: Gabrielle's red satin sheets...F-cking gross.

Duana : I was just going to talk about that!

Duana : Coloured sheets = automatically tacky!

Duana : red sheets, anyway

Michelle: I don't want to see Gabriel, so why would I want to see so much of his nipple

Duana : ugh! chills! Run, S!

Duana : There you go, Cresp, the dark hair was a plot point

Duana : Did Serena just get out of bed in a slip?

Lainey: i love Georgina's hair.

Duana : of course you do

Michelle: I can't imagine why

Duana : she's not that good an actress, either

Michelle: Are you just angry she broke up with an Ashmore?

Duana : Did she?

Michelle: Ya she broke his Brampton heart

Duana : No, that's fine, I'll take that Ashmore and continue Brampton lineage

Duana : Wait, which one is hers? I like the Veronica Mars one, not the X Men one

Lainey: which one?

Michelle: I think the Veronica one (Aaron)... stand by

Duana : I think hers was Shawn, but I prefer Aaron

Duana : wait, was that it?

Michelle: you're right shawn

Michelle: I admire Poppy's Excel skills

Duana : excel skills? I see her making out on him

Duana : SO Confused

Michelle: Is Rufus at the door?

Michelle: poor Murray Hill. We couldn't afford to even rent there.

Lainey: i couldn't even afford a one night stand there.

Duana : Is Blair's coat Milly?

Michelle: Seems like it should be...

Duana : But he shouldn't trust you, Blair, so that's like a hexagon of conflicty emotions, huh?

Duana : Trachtenberg Haaaaaaaaaaaate

Michelle: Notice they stopped mentioning the Humphrey mom altogether?

Duana : rufus got a better blond

Michelle: Chuck in a cab and Blair on the subway. Makes for an ok episode

Duana : But Rufus is a schmuck, so...balance?

Lainey: so why isn't chuck attracted to georgina? explain.

Duana : She'd give it to him in a second

Duana : Where's the appeal?

Michelle: He probably finds her too simple because she actually got caught in her own web

Duana : I mean, Chuck bass has disposable girls for that

Michelle: Please see the GG hot girls graveyard

Photos from Wenn.com

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