Heathcliff Bass

May 25, 2009 06:11:39 Posted at May 25, 2009 06:11:39
Lainey Posted by Lainey

A week late on the GG chat – the girls had to wait while I was out of town. Sorry about the delay.

A neat little ending, non?

While the identity of Gossip Girl is still not clear – am not buying it’s Georgina – and the introduction of Half Brother provides for some intrigue to look forward to, for the most part the season concluded without a cliffhanger. I’ll take this over Lost. Because the wait for Lost seems interminable. F-ck!


I may be the only person unhappy about the Blair/Chuck love fest. Blame being Chinese. We are culturally programmed to prefer a terrible ending either resulting in full scale tragedy or the bad guys winning.

What’s to look forward to if the central theme has already been fulfilled?

Our skype chat is below. But first…

Have you heard the news about Ed Westwick? He’s been cast as Heathcliff in a new hipster film version of Wuthering Heights with Bond’s Gemma Arterton as his Cathy. Brooding and self tortured, yes. But Gemma looks like she could crush him. Due out in 2010.

Attached – my shamef-ck roaming New York around New York last week with some interesting footwear. And the cast of Gossip Girl at the upfronts. How many times has Blake Lively worn this jumper? And what does Taylor Momsen look like without makeup? Also, am now officially repulsed by Penn Badgley. Gross.

Gossip Girl Weekly

Duana - Oh man, Emma the aspiring non-virgin

Lainey – sigh. Remember JFK Jr?

Michelle - Remember when Blair was all about her big V?

Lainey – remember when I used to remember putting a premium on my big V?

Duana - remember when Blair thought Nate was a viable romantic option? Oh, this is already going to be good.

Michelle - That's both the last episode and the first ever episode.

Duana - The hairband is back! Triumph is on the way!

Michelle - And colourful tights! P.s. I'm still bitter over lack of prom.

Duana - I know you are, and I love you for it. Did Blair get darker contacts or something? She looks like she got a facelift

Michelle - I thought you'd be lusting over B's highlights?

Lainey – see I was about to say that Blair looks so pretty. And dressed appropriately for the afternoon. Whereas Serena for some reason chose evening wear for graduation???

Michelle - Remember Constance? They haven't been to school in weeks. Oh no Vanessa...

Duana - Oh V, congrats on two years of irrelevance on this show. Wouldn't it be pretty to graduate in green? My gowns were boring blue and boring black

Michelle – Let’s open up a business of better gowns? Why do Dan and Vanessa look like parents?

Duana - Amazing. In the southern states the girls wear white. Well, I was all set to say Dan looks like a funeral director.

Michelle - Seriously.

Duana – Nelly Yuki!

Michelle – headband power!

Duana - I love B in yellow and green. She's my hero. How did she get all her mojo back? Oh I know - because she has Chuck's love!

Michelle - Exactly. No more elfin bf.

Lainey – can you picture elfin Footloosing?

Duana - It's a bit ridiculous that an elfin child is calling her “Little" J. Also, Eric is being trucked in from another show.

Michelle - maybe miss elf and mr elf can hook up?

Duana - Green gowns. Not fair! Does the yellow cord denote honor roll or valedictorian? Oh, Chuck on an apple box, how I love thee.

Michelle - Good question... But an even better one - How is Chuck graduating?

Duana - He purchased a diploma?

Michelle - The new Bass Library at Constance?

Duana - Reserved pews, Rufus? chill out. Who's going to have Lily's necklace first? I say Michelle

Michelle - I already kind of have it in orange...

Duana - (but you don't wear it)

Michelle - (correct)

Lainey – did they just VO Serena’s voice???

Duana - Eleanor Waldorf has also had a facelift.

Michelle - Maybe it was a mother daughter "retreat"?

Lainey - Chuck’s “tender” voice lights up my loins. Oh! Cyrus! I feel good things… outside my loins! Um, is S too good for a grad cap?

Duana - Is Serena wearing her tassel like a fascinator? Dear Serena, please get over yourself.

Michelle – SERIOUSLY

Duana - Authentically small senior class.

Michelle - Where's Dorota? I swear she's Gossip Girl.

Duana - Or Blair herself...or Vanessa?

Michelle - Nelly?

Duana - OOoh, are they going to tell us who she is? Aren't you so excited? Doesn't this make up for prom?

Michelle - I don't think they'll tell us because she's still play a role somehow next year with the junior class...

Duana - I don't think we're watching the junior class, are we? We don't know anyone but Jenny and Eric who will show up at NYU for parties...

Michelle - I dunno... I feel like they want Penelope to be a star but I don't care...

Duana - I thought Penelope was graduating!

Michelle - Oh wait you're right - duh.

Duana - I feel like my orange dress is going to show up in this scene somewhere.

Michelle - Well Chuck is wearing orange which is odd no?

Duana - There is a man in a mint shirt also, WTF? Chuck sounds daily the way I sound with strep throat. Maybe he has permastrep

Michelle - It's the way he gets rid of his British accent.

Duana - You're correct!

Michelle - Ew Nate's grandfather is getting turned on by this...

Duana - Hahah, true. But unless Nate's grandfather is gossip girl, how does this help? Wait, where's Georgina? Why is Vanessa wearing a jacket from Dalmy's?

Michelle - They're setting it up to be Penelope.

Duana - How much double-sided tape is involved with Serena's non-bra dress?

Michelle - Her wardrobe hasn't been kind to the girls.

Duana - why is Dan being a dick today?

Michelle - It's hereditary.

Duana - I love how Vanessa was pretending not to listen just now.

Michelle - Oh my, the brain trust.

Duana - HAHAH.

Michelle - Did they never think about having this conversation before grad?

Duana - Facebook? How...provincial. Johnathan? JOHNATHAN!!! JOHNATHAN??? How do we feel?

Michelle - But why? I mean...

Duana - Because it's only a 3rd of the way through, there'll be a misdirect.

Lainey – too easy. Total misdirect.

Michelle - Would he be so stupid to not have a separate phone just for GG texts?

Duana - But even so, GG needs to pull out her phone sometimes, no?

Michelle - (I don't know - but it's never Johnathan but Jonathon or Jonathan). I'm disappointed in his sloppiness.

Lainey – it can’t be Jonathan. If it’s Jonathan I’m not watching anymore.

Duana - (That's my own personal oops. I knew ONE with an H, he told me it was unusual but I internalized it that way anyway).

Michelle - (he must have been special)

Duana - Answering in public? Very amateur. Which makes me think perhaps he's a decoy..

Michelle - Maybe Penelope put him up to it?

Duana - I love that you're bent on Penelope. Oh, fine, writers, heh. PS the screen just read "Jenny Humphrey has no shirt on"

Michelle - oh la. Little J staging a coup. I don't think so.

Duana - The problem here is Jenny doesn't care about throwing out the monarchy.

Michelle - Oh no Rufus is going to write a new hit song about Lily. Please no.

Duana - How can Dan afford the dorms at NYU?

Michelle - And can I stay with him intermittently?

Lainey – can you fix his face while you’re there? Make it fit better.

Duana – um ew M.

Michelle - It's close to Otto and the cheese plate.

Duana – what party is this supposed to be?

Michelle - Nate's party....

Duana - What fresh hell is this, Blair? An APRON?

Michelle - The headband is still on though. Promising?

Duana - They absolutely got Mother-Daughter tucks of some sort. LOVE NELLY YUKI rocking out. Also love that the dress code is "Neon except for Dan"

Michelle - Dan made a funny.

Lainey – what happened New Year’s?

Michelle - Chuck's yucky uncle.

Duana - EW. Thank you. I want Blair's headband IMMEDIATELY. It's so giant the entire UES is in its orbit

Michelle - Even Chuck likes her headband?

Duana - Having the exact same skintone as your love, agreeable or creepy? Um, Is Blair wearing some sort of Bodyshaper? That might be the most realistic thing I've ever seen.

Lainey – does spanx make those?

Duana - He still can't say it. THAT'S the most realistic thing I've ever seen. Are you having fun, Michelle? It’s almost like they took all the fun out of prom in order to give you this.

Michelle - True - this is a good one so far. Despite Vanessa's presence. I'm going to miss GG.

Duana - Are you graduating too?

Michelle - No but I think we should've worn headbands this year while doing our chats. E - do they care about GG in Cannes?

Lainey – no but they care about fois gras.

Duana - Wow, writers, all the dropped threads of the year at once!

Michelle – I’m waiting for them to break in to "Friends Forever"

Duana - Oh sh-t, Dan is gossip girl.

Michelle – NO

Duana - ... Um, mini wannabe nonvirgin looks JUST like Jennifer Love Hewitt

Michelle - YES! Can't Hardly Wait…We've been rendered typeless by this scene

Duana - If he hurts her now, she'll never recover. Oh B, you're such a high school girl. You've been crying over the same guy all year. I want that couch

Michelle - It'll give her some good storylines for next year. The couch you want is suspiciously like the Humphrey's!

Duana - OK, time to reassess now that we have some Rufus/Lily to ignore. What is up with Chuck? Is he just that determined to keep Blair away?

Michelle - He doesn't want to be in love because he doesn't love himself... so deep, I know.

Lainey – and I need a reason to keep watching…?

Duana - And Dan was a dick to Serena because he wants her far away, because she'll figure out that he's GG.

Michelle - It really can't be Dan. Seriously. About him and the teacher - why would he?

Duana - But S, you hate 'some of these people'. Doesn't look bad on him...

Michelle - But the whole getting her fired thing?

Duana - Well, maybe he thought she was getting clingy

Lainey – in what universe would Dan Fail Humphrey think that clingy is a negative attribute?

Michelle - I don't think Dan's smart enough to pull it off.

Duana - Well - then we're back to Georgina. But how?

Michelle - I do want Georgina back in this episode....

Duana - She was in the previews.

Michelle - And what about the mystery half-brother?

Duana - And Poppi?

Michelle - Hmmm.... see I thought Georgina was the half-"brother"

Lainey – remember the half brother crank called Dan a few eps ago? or was I dreaming that?

Michelle - It's like Blair's dress is really for Serena

Duana - She looks gothy today.

Michelle - Wait a sec. It's Little J.

Duana - Can't be. She would've been 10 when it started. Or 12

Michelle – Whoa. What a sec is Looping You that GPS thing? p.s. does asking that make me old?

Duana - I dunno. Are we secretly old for not knowing this? Oh, I love you. I still think Dan is Gossip Girl. And why did he loop her? To apologize?

Michelle - I guess so.

Duana - Oh please, Gossip Girl is 'everyone'?

Michelle - Cue the Full House music.

Lainey – no. worse. Seventh f-cking Heaven.

Duana - Seriously. This explained nothing. This is a nonending. Because the show's not over, apparently.

Michelle - I feel cheated. They should have just done another flashback episode.

Duana - 15 more minutes. Buckle up

Michelle - This Avril Lavigne camera add drives me crazy...

Duana - WHO advised Canon that Avril was the spokesperson to sign? So irrelevant. Just like Serena.

Lainey – yes but Serena’s not a lesbian.

Michelle - I do NOT want to see this dance spoof movie. But it makes me want to watch Save the Last Dance again.

Duana - I always default to Center Stage where Dance Movies are concerned.

Michelle - I appreciate the acting in Save the Last Dance instead. Have you seen the dance movie with Neve Campbell? It's great. Seriously.

Duana - The Company?

Michelle - Yes!

Duana - No, I was afraid I wouldn't be able to get it. One week later?? I like Lily in purple.

Lainey – Kelly Rutherford delivers a great “old”.

Michelle - I'm surprised Danny Tanner didn't voice that.

Duana - Heh. and everything comes full circle. Why are they packing on June fourth? Dear Blair, send me your jacket immediately

Michelle - And shoes.

Duana - Serena's wearing our uniqlo jeans!

Michelle - Yay cheap and cheerful.

Lainey – I need to add to my purple ones. Why didn’t you make me buy more?

Duana - I miss NY

Michelle - You need to get a fix. I just got mine.

Duana - V needs to lay off the tanner

Michelle - Dear Wardrobe - please ban Vanessa from wearing animal prints.

Duana - She's like a premature cougar. I also love Vienna

Michelle - Prague is better.


Duana - You’re right. Also, perv alert. He's cute, but underage, meaning E will be all over him. And, headband equals power. Officially

Michelle - Foreign queen - hee.

Duana - I do like punk princess Jenny in this Pretty In Pink kind of setting. But just for five seconds. And you called it. Now, where is Georgina? 8 minutes left...

Michelle - E - are you going to be dreaming about half-brother?

Lainey – I don’t like his lips. But at least they’re better than Gabrielle’s.

Duana - THERE she is. Reveal! Reveal! YEAH Georgina!

Michelle - As if Blair would live in residence?!

Duana - At a lot of US schools it's a requirement for freshmen, if you can believe it

Michelle - Who knew?

Duana - Nerd girl over here.

Michelle - And who knew Serena's father was still around?

Duana - Who knew she cared?

Lainey – next week’s project: cast Serena’s father. I saw Rob Lowe.

Michelle - Jacket alert - i NEED it.

Duana - Coat in early June, B? Yes, you do

Michelle - E - remember Parisian macaroons?!

Lainey – remember Hediard? There was an Hediard at the Nice airport. I almost called you from there…

Duana - Be strong, B....Gold cord - she's graduated from Chuck?

Michelle - He said the L word!

Duana – Hahahah. I just giddy-giggled out loud. awwww!

Michelle - About his purple pants?!

Duana - No, about her 'can you say it again?'

Lainey – why am I not giddy? I hate this ending. What’s there to wait for? Being Chinese is making me such a buzzkill.

Michelle - This episode reminds me of my days after high school graduation...

Duana - For real? This sounds intriguing!

Michelle – NO

Duana - HAHAH. I was going to say, I went to work at camp and stocked up things for my dorm room all summer and that was about the size of it.

Michelle - I too worked at camp. Went right up the morning after prom. Well it's been a fun season of chats, no?

Duana - Aww, how final. Very fun. What do we know? Dan = a douche for no reason. Vanessa = still irrelevant. Where is Serena going to school?

Michelle – Brown

Duana - I can't wait 'til October.

Michelle - We can do fan fiction and do chats about it if you'd like?

Duana - HAHAH. Something like that.

Michelle - E - you can do the first one.

Duana - Oh God, it'll be all Bass/Blair slash porn

Michelle - She'll have to keep it PG13. On that note, good night.

Duana - Good night. And dream of...the cute new brother

Michelle - checking his age now – standby

Duana – standing

Michelle - No age!

Duana - He started acting last year. I'm calling him 22.

Michelle - E is getting hot. We must stop now..

Duana - hahah. bonne nuit

Michelle - au revoir.

Photos from Wenn.com and Janet Mayer/Splashnewsonline.com

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