GG politics and a Ryan Gosling story
The episodes keep getting more pointless and ridiculous and this time there was no dress porn. No joy at all.
Also Vanessa’s moral spray came back and sucked the happiness out of everyone.
We were forced to care about Tripp, we continued to marvel at how Jenny doesn’t matter, we wondered why an 18 year is all of a sudden David Plouffe, and Robert Pattinson should sue Patrick Roberts for being too short and gross. Like, disgusting and horrible. Ew.
Here are Ed Westwick and Leighton Meester (her new video looks ASS) shooting in New York this week. Taylor Momsen too. The paps are there to remind us she’s still on the show. How do we feel about my Shamef-ck in that brown leather jacket?
As for Ryan Gosling…well… in our chat, during a tangent, Duana recalls what happened when they were just 17.
Gossip Girl Weekly
Lainey: i think V is back.
Michelle: am i supposed to care?
Duana: No but I apparently have to care about Tripp.
Lainey: some girl sends me hatemail ragging on us for ragging on V
Michelle: E is now wishing Carter is back. She's thinking about his lips.
Duana: How is being a publicist a desirable job for someeone who used to BE a boldfacename?
Duana: EW. First-year Linens.
Michelle: Bright. Colourful. Zellerz.
Duana: Did a Trudeau-style poster just go by? Oooh, new shooting style.
Michelle: More WS?
Lainey: Poor Ryan Phillippe. And his girlfriend is more successful than he is too.
Duana: I hereby default to the official line of each of these chats - "I like Serena's Dress"
Lainey: Hil is really pretty when she just wakes up with fresh makeup
Duana: You'd think famous Hilary would at least get some Marimekko sheets or something.
Michelle: How old is Chuck?
Lainey: Donald Trump's age
Michelle: Hmm... I wonder how the surveillance cameras will play in to the party?
Duana: Blair's favourite part?
Duana: Please, of course that's Chuck's favourite part
Lainey: how old is TRIPP??
Duana: Did we miss the part where Vanessa got on board with all this stuff?
Duana: She's a pretty good wasp wife.
Michelle: There was one expository line.
Lainey: did S HAVE to wear heels in this scene? she's a GIANT.
Michelle: I felt like Serena was telling the audience and not just Olivia "Don't forget about Gossip Girl."
Duana: MIRACLE. Did you all get that?
Duana: I LOVE that S runs around in cocktail dresses with sequined sweaters!
Lainey: please. look at Blair's school day outfit!
Duana: Stop mucklemouthing, dan.
Duana: OK, leighton's voice sounds odd. But her face is like a china doll I had when I was four.
Lainey: it's the singing.
Duana: Also, "Non-stop prepping" - you know she wanted to make a joke there.
Duana: Serena's "Handsome boyfriend Patrick" is 5'4, right?
Lainey: KNOCKOFFS. I like.
Michelle: Oh Blake Lively is stepping up. I like it when she fights with Blair.
Duana: I want someone to appear beside me and inform me 'I'm your friend!'
Michelle: Remember Teddy Rukpin?
Duana: Who are these boys talking in full sentences? "Grandfather"?
Lainey: Tripp is Tom Cruising a drowner
Duana: "I"m in da hudson!"
Duana: Did they have to get that particular brand of New Yorker?
Michelle: Grandfather comes through with da drowner.
Duana: Vanessa's talking like she got the last cranberry muffin.
Michelle: She's excited that her hair is up.
Lainey: V is now a videographer. Multi purpose. She's like Cuba Gooding Jr in Outbreak.
Duana: So....this is a show about people who go to parties about campaigns now, right? like, it's officially not about kids who go to school?
Duana: I like these chop-chop salads they're not eating.
Lainey: next time i ask you how i look, please say superior
Duana: So...these two are going to kiss, right?
Michelle: I don't like Blair being desperate.
Duana: No, it's really not helping.
Michelle: Couldn't that girl be her mother?
Lainey: Jenny has swine flu
Duana: You hope.
Michelle: Maybe because she never washes the make up off her face.
Duana: What did that say? I’m old now. I got as far as "nasty"
Duana: Oh, Vanessa, your innocence, she is cracking!
Lainey: Robert Pattinson's wannabe is elijah wood
Michelle: Pat Ro drops Miley. Yuck
Duana: Wait - why does Serena want to go? So she can keep her fake job that pays her nothing?
Lainey: he's drinking JD. now where's his guitar?
Michelle: Du - does that remind you of spending time with Ryan Gosling when he had no pants on?
Duana: She called him from all the way uptown to meet her to look at the river with her?
Duana: HAHAH. About the same level of muscle.
Michelle: Du you may want to explain for the readers so it doesn't sound like you slept with Ryan Gosling? Actually maybe you don't want to clarify...
Lainey: i love that Ryan Gosling story. And the Rachel McAdams one. On her flight.
Duana: No, I was thinking that. *AHEM* Eons ago, I was an intern for an award show where a very gallant Gosling ironed his own pants while standing in the hallway.
Duana: We were just 17, he and I.
Michelle: Make the McGoslings swoon.
Duana: I'll tell the Rachel one some other time!
Lainey: V's all about journalistic integrity.
Duana: OK, Vanessa's conscience is going to get her so many further scoops!
Lainey: she's christiane amanpour
Duana: Wait, she has respect for Tripp? WHY? What does he do?
Duana: Why do any of us care about TRIPP?
Michelle: Because he provides another party opportunity...
Lainey: i just clued in that tripp is nick for william.
Duana: "Wow, thank you so much for explaining that" is such a popular girl thing to say.
Duana: Brandeis. Amazing.
Michelle: She's an escort isn't she?
Duana: These two just don't put the effort into their fights that they did in high school though.
Lainey: i wonder if the real Pattinson knows the he pees in public
Michelle: What does it say about me that I didn't think he was peeing...
Duana: I'm trying to think if you assumed better or worse?
Lainey: Pattinson jerks off in public?
Michelle: No I thought he was um being serviced by Blair's new friend?!
Duana: You're the best.
Lainey: am i gossip columnist? why didn't i think of that?
Michelle: apparently i'm x-rated.
Duana: I like that Lily is just so much....smarter than Rufus.
Duana: Chuck has had one line this entire episode.
Duana: Oh....this bathroom boy stuff....
Michelle: weak, no?
Duana: You can't tell me Dan isn't getting off on this.
Duana: He would love the acclaim!
Lainey: what the what is the spider and the fallon? i don't get it...
Michelle: ya lame.
Duana: It's lame.
Michelle: Called it!
Duana: And....Crespi calling it 22 minutes into the episode
Michelle: Now lets see how the surveillance footage comes in to play...
Duana: I hate to say this, but I wish these people had pulled a One Tree Hill and artificially aged everyone. I can't care about this in the same context as Wal-Mart sheets!
Lainey: why is an 18 year old running a political campaign
Duana: My POINT.
Michelle: is it supposed a bit for the adults and bit for the tweens?
Duana: Here, this is tangentially related to Gossip Girl...
Lainey: Why is Vanessa the Dalai Lama? was she at We Day?
Duana: A 'student' like Brandeis, he says it with quotes around it.
Duana: I also really enjoy Serena as call girl.
Michelle: See THAT would be interesting.
Duana: I think so.
Lainey: OK Fake Pattinson is amazing. please stay.
Duana: Also, I love how the "scandalous lives of manhattan's elite" involve a boy in his underwear.
Duana: Like, ooooh.
Michelle: Like Chuck wouldn't want a prostitute at his hotel?
Duana: Like Chuck wouldn't know her by name?
Lainey: Like Chuck is the ringmaster.
Michelle: Remember when he was oddly in love with a call girl for two episodes?
Duana: Oh, there it is.
Michelle: Now I want cake.
Duana: The onlly thing they have to bring us back into this show is 'the two of them fighting but it’s not OVER anything
Duana: My name is Nate Archibald, I'm....17
Lainey: i like that Blair can't help herself. She always crosses the line. This is my anchor. And Grey Goose La Poire.
Duana: I love Chuck's new hair.
Duana: I'm sorry, I do.
Lainey: waldorf subtext. t shirt.
Duana: Oh, you know who knows how to tell girls what's what? Boys.
Duana: I don't remember this story, do you? Like wouldn't it have been better to see it?
Michelle: They were too busy writing bad story lines for Jenny.
Lainey: she has swine flu.
Michelle: Is this NY1 anchor for real? Because she's good.
Duana: I bet it's a tie-in
Duana: I enjoy watching Lynda Lopez on NY1
Duana: What sacrifice? He's 18 years old.
Michelle: I think he's older!
Michelle: Oh no I meant Tripp
Duana: Oh they just said tripp was 26 for those playing along at home.
Michelle: Blair has college. Really?
Duana: I know, she certainly doesn't SEEM to be number one
Lainey: she does have a relationship though. A middle aged one.
Duana: OK, so they're over again, based on not-very-much. Yawn.
Lainey: how do they make those balloon rainbows. i really want them for my next party
Duana: Or for your birthday.
Lainey: but that's a whole year!
Duana: When's your next party?
Lainey: I need an excuse
Duana: Blair talks to herself. Like really, this is ridiculous.
Duana: Pat-Ro is gross.
Lainey: Seriously. he's vile. if i were him, the real one, i would sue.
Duana: So this is a scene between wasp wife and grandfather, right?
Duana: Like, can't we make this blair and chuck, and then I'd watch?
Michelle: I can't handle caring about someone else.
Duana: And a LONG scene, too.
Duana: I don't know where anyone lives or sleeps. I don't recognize any apartments or places. Only the hotel robe tells me Blair's out-of-place
Lainey: i don't like lonely girl Waldorf.
Duana: Lonely girl Vanessa, is of course, the same as always.
Michelle: I'm confused.
Lainey: when does fallon bring back guests twice in one week?
Michelle: but they made it seem like it was still Scrabble night.
Duana: Serena/Tripp affair?Please?
Michelle: Congressman orders drinks for under age citizen.
Duana: OH man I thought he was gonna hold her hand!
Lainey: he has really white teeth
Michelle: is that good or bad?
Lainey: it's... in character.
Duana: welll......a lot of screen time on tripp, grandfather, and Waspwife. Not so much on JENNY or other regulars.
Michelle: what do you think that means?
Duana: I think they're trying to transition into a soap and hoping we forget they're first-years
Lainey: i like where Blair is headed. Having only one anchor.
Lainey: that seems real to me. Somewhat.
Duana: Eh. She whines and he does what she wants. What if she really didn't have one?
Lainey: what if she only has one and then it's gone?
Duana: Like, harken to the days of the eating disorder, that might be nice.
Lainey: then cue eating disorder reprisal.
Photos from Ron Asadorian/Splashnewsonline.com