Gross Articles

That about sums it up.

Picture Him On Top Of You: Johnny Depp edition

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 3, 2014 19:38:13 June 3, 2014 19:38:13
Photos:
FameFlynet, James Haynes/ Splash

Never, ever, ever thought we’d play my game, Picture Him On Top Of You, featuring Johnny Depp. Ever. When I invented it, it was because we kept covering these Hollywood parties we’d always see these women, these gorgeous gorgeous women, wrapped around the grossest, sickest, vilest, richest men. Full Story

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Ashton Kutcher: what a great man

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 15, 2014 15:02:05 May 15, 2014 15:02:05
Photos:
Frazer Harrison/ Kevin Winter/ Getty

PEOPLE  posted the grossest article yesterday about Mila Kunis and Ashton Kutcher. The title: Mila Kunis and Ashton Kutcher: How They're Preparing for Their Baby Girl Fine. They could be decorating the room. Or going to breathing classes. Full Story

If this was your dinner companion…

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 9, 2014 16:54:33 May 9, 2014 16:54:33
Photos:
Wenn, FameFlynet, David M. Benett/ Getty

Imagine you’re at a gala and a male table companion shows up without a jacket, his shirt unbuttoned literally down to his stomach. It’s obscene. OBSCENE. Vile. Even if it were David Beckham it would be obscene and vile. But it’s especially obscene and vile being that it’s Simon Cowell. Full Story

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Johnny Depp holds his girlfriend

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 7, 2014 13:36:11 May 7, 2014 13:36:11
Photos:
Kevin Mazur/ Theo Wargo/ Getty

Do you feel like Johnny Depp is in your face a LOT these days? A lot more than he ever used to be? We’d go months not seeing him before. A long, long time. JD knew how to go underground. Like Tom Cruise, like Brange, he has the resources, he had the inclination. Then. Now? Now it’s almost weekly. Full Story

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Mr Peanut & his fiancée at the MET Gala

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 6, 2014 15:56:49 May 6, 2014 15:56:49
Photos:
Wenn, Dimitrios Kambouris/ TIMOTHY A. CLARY/ Getty

So many of you emailed and tweeted at me about this last night. The Mr Peanut thing. And several other outlets are on the peanut train. And I decided I’d be lazy and just go with it because Johnny Depp has become a cartoon cliché. So why should I expend any originality on his ass when I could be saving it for someone else? Mr Peanut it is. Full Story

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Picture Him On Top Of You: Simon Cowell edition

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 26, 2014 15:36:26 February 26, 2014 15:36:26
Photos:
FameFlynet

This is a game I invented to play at parties. I first wrote about it here, when a few of us were covering a celebrity festival allnighter, looking at hot models being groped by gross rich men. Everyone has a line, right? How much money or what connections would it take for you to control your gag reflex? What would have to be promised to you? What do you gain by suppressing your disgust? So. Full Story

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This isn’t helping

Lainey Posted by Lainey at December 10, 2013 15:02:23 December 10, 2013 15:02:23
Photos:
FameFlynet

We’ve been documenting the rapid decline of Johnny Depp’s appeal over the last couple of years. He’s making it easy. Check out Johnny caught with his pants down while filming a scene for Mordecai last night in London. I mean, I know it’s just a character, yet another weird and quirky character he’s adding to his ever-growing resumé of weird and quirky characters. Full Story

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#ThisIsUnbroken

Lainey Posted by Lainey at November 12, 2013 18:04:06 November 12, 2013 18:04:06
Photos:
Scott Barbour/ Getty

Reality is an asshole. We live in a world where Robsten could not survive but Elizabeth Hurley and Shane Warne are still happening. Or happening again, depending on how you see it. Rumour has it she took a break from him because he was being a pig over text with other women. Him? HIM? Shocker. Full Story

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Promoting the Greatest Canadian Love Story

Lainey Posted by Lainey at October 16, 2013 15:04:17 October 16, 2013 15:04:17
Photos:
Santi/ Splash

We have so much to be proud of here in Canada. Earlier this year, Chris Hadfield was a maple leaf badass up in space. Last week, one of our most treasured writers, Alice Munro, won the Nobel Prize in Literature. And now… Now Avril Lavigne and Chad Kroeger, newlyweds, are promoting their new single/her new album/their relationship/I’m not sure. Full Story

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Birthday Bears

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 25, 2013 17:42:14 July 25, 2013 17:42:14
Photos:
WENN

Jennifer Lopez celebrated her 44th birthday yesterday. Get your Gravol ready because, obviously, there was some Slum Love involved. No, actually, not some, but a LOT. A lot of Slum Love in the form of the Gross Bears. Jesus Christ. And we were having such a great week. Yesterday I was shooting a promo with the co-hosts of The Social, Melissa Grelo, Traci Melchor, and Cynthia Loyst. Full Story