Gwyneth at the Wedding

April 7, 2008 04:22:49 Posted at April 7, 2008 04:22:49
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Am all over her new hair. And her skin looks lovely too.

As for those who love to hate her and who are about to monkey jump all over her snotty ass for wearing white to a wedding – they were all apparently asked to wear white, or specifically ivory, to the wedding. Looks better in photos. I agree.

And if you think she’d have worn white anyway…you really don’t know my Gwynnie.

My Gwynnie is more mannered than Miss Manners. My Gwynnie is mannered so she can remind people who are not so mannered that they are less mannered than she is. My Gwynnie is the quickest with a thank you card, the first to send flowers, the one who will sniff quietly beside you at a dinner party if you pick up the wrong utensil.

My Gwynnie knows better than to wear white to a wedding. Are you f&cking kidding me??? My Gwynnie’s wiles are MUCH more subversive.

My Gwyneth would absolutely never wear white to a wedding unless asked. But she would wear the latest Balenciaga or something hand sewn by Mr Valentino himself. And while the piece might be understated, it would be quite obviously exquisite. More exquisite than the poor bride’s gown. More exquisite than anyone else in the room. But ostensibly not exquisite in a way that can be faulted.

And THAT is how my Gwyneth stabs a bitch in the back…don’t you even know???

Here she is, with Chris ducking low in the car, arriving at B and Jay’s. Many have remarked on the unlikely friendship – again, this is crazy talk. Because cultivating a close friendship with the first couple of R&B is exactly the kind of thing Gwyneth would do to up the Paltrow Martin street cred…only she’d probably seat Tina Knowles on the Siberian end of the table during one of her Hamptons dinner parties.

Not even Gwyneth can hide her “Dereon” disdain.

Photos from and

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