Gwyneth for AMEX, Gwyneth for Pleasures

September 21, 2006 12:00:00 Posted at September 21, 2006 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey
I know that my choice in best friend is not a popular one. I understand why she"s cloying, why she appeals to less than 1 in 10: She doesn"t try to make you like her, she doesn"t pretend to be your best friend, she doesn"t victimise herself and blubber all over the pages of Vanity Fair, she insists on saying condescending, insensitive things, she seizes upon every opportunity to remind us that she is better, she is stuck up, she is elitist, she is insufferable…I get it. And while I love all that in Gwyneth, I can accept that to most others, it must be irritating as all hell. So I"m game for hearing Gwynnie get trashed, I"m game for Fishsticks comments, I"m game for all the usual darts…but if you"re going to criticise her (MANY MANY emails this week), at least bring your A game, and stick to the Paltrow faults we know and love (uppity airs, annoying drawl, her long ass hair, whatever). The AMEX Red incident at Prada? Sorry... nothing to do with bias, but it just doesn"t count. Because the AMEX red card is designed to to help "eliminate AIDS in Africa", 1% of all purchases under 5,000 pounds and 1.25% of purchases over 5,000 pounds are channeled directly to programs benefitting women and children affected by HIV/AIDS. Gisele Bundchen is the official spokesmodel, clearly Gwyneth is an official cardmember, and seeing as she used it at Prada, I"m thinkin" we"re probably in the 1.25% bracket, non? And seeing as she flashed it so gratuitously, I"m also thinkin" she"s doing a little philanthropic promo to get us to sign up too... Just like Bono, just like Matt Damon, just Leo DiCaprio, maybe not as beautifully as the Pitts, maybe not with as many children, or with as much money (a $2 million foundation to start is pretty frickin" good), or with as many air miles, but it"s charitable press nonetheless, so why don"t we go back to our regularly scheduled program and slag her for the things that don"t have to do with helping poor, starving world citizens. Here…I"ll even give you an opportunity. Check out my Gwynnie at the unveiling of her new fragrance today in NYC. While I think she looks radiant and beautiful, especially her adorable little belly bulge, most of you will likely think her constipated and arrogant, in dire need of a haircut. My Gwynnie is nothing if not polarising... Photos from Gossip Rocks
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