Crowe and The Queen

April 22, 2009 07:17:16 Posted at April 22, 2009 07:17:16
Lainey Posted by Lainey

In London yesterday to promote State of Play.

Helen Mirren is a goddess. It’s really too bad she asstalks so much. The lady looks amazing, non?

My favourite nail bar (Pure) here in Vancouver plays Sex & the City non stop. So I popped in yesterday for a manicure. Happened to be the episode featuring Samantha’s hard-on for Friar F-ck. Remember the monk?

Anyway, at one point the girls get together and she tells them she’d just come from a 2.5 hour masturbation session with the priest as her main fantasy. Then she asked:

Who do you masturbate to?

Both Carrie and Miranda replied in unison: Russell Crowe.

The follow up line was:

What did women do before Russell Crowe?

Seems like a long time ago. Before the temper tantrums and the phone attacks, Russell Crowe was the go-to guy, in Hollywood and, um, in between the legs. Now he’s a punchline and a distant second at the box office to LipGloss Zac Efron.

I don’t know if I want to live here.

Photos from and

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