How Jakey bailed on Swifty

January 12, 2011 07:24:00 Posted at January 12, 2011 07:24:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey

It was over the phone.

Just before New Year’s.

I hope it was more than 27 seconds. That’s apparently how long it took for Joe Jonas to end things with her. On the phone too.

These are the details presented to us about the Jakey-Swifty break-up in the new issue of Us Weekly, with Taylor’s heartbreak on the cover. It’s a top seller. And pretty soon, she’ll have more than John Mayer in common with Jennifer Aniston.

Jennifer, however, is much more experienced. And besides, Jennifer really isn’t looking for love. If only Jennifer could admit to the fact that she’s in it for a good f-ck. If only.

Taylor on the other hand at 21 is in love with love. So when Jakey pursued her, going through their agents to arrange a hook-up, of course it was like stars and rainbows. Jake of course has dimples and is delightful and hot. So it’s easy to blame her for being a dumbass.

But then again, he invited her to spend time with his family on Thanksgiving. She held hands with his niece. So… I don’t know… if I were analysing that over the phone and tears with a girlfriend post-split, that would have confounded me too. But if he wasn’t into me, why would he ask me to spend the holiday with him?

You’ve had those conversations, right?

You’ve picked apart everything he said?

And now?

Us Weekly says now Swifty isn’t eating. She’s also supposedly working out like mad, to bury the pain, I guess, which will eventually transform itself into lyrical inspiration. Jake meanwhile is having dinner with buxom blondes. Because a player never stops playing.

More about Taylor and Jake in this week’s Us Weekly on stands now.

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