Do All Scientologists Jump on Couches?

December 5, 2006 12:00:00 Posted at December 5, 2006 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey
They’re all awfully happy lot, aren’t they? Replace coke with Xenu Juice, it’s the secret to scientological actualisation and success, and it could just explain why they’re so damn cheerful all the time, as evidenced by Kelly Preston at the Church’s Christmas Stories XIV event at the weekend. Granted, I know it’s the holidays, I know good cheer is the norm, to be expected, but I see a whole lot more than cheer here. I see cheer mixed with a huge helping of crazy, maybe some freak too. And perhaps even a bit of panic? Where is her husband after all? Where has he been for weeks? As the Sci Ruler and his henchman openly court the Smiths in search for a new number 2, does this imperil Kelly’s standing among the members? Has she been admonished for failing to keep her husband in check? Has she lost her spot as the Second Lady of the Church? Is she fighting for her scientological life? I’m telling you – if that’s the case, and if very well may be, the future might not be too bright for Mrs Travolta. And just in case, for the benefit of the few out there who still don’t think this sh-t is as creepy as it is… Barbara Walters did one of her famous specials a couple of weeks ago, rounding up many memorable moments from her years as a celebrity interviewer, and there was this clip she aired, John and Kelly side by side, talking about their marriage – it was the strangest thing, no exaggeration. BW asks something to the effect of: how long will you two last? Is marriage forever? And Kelly, right away, there’s a look in her eye, she’s all like – Eternity. We will be together forever. We will be married forever. We will never ever break up. But John, on the other hand, was surprisingly vague – flippant almost. He shrugged and said something like – well…you just never know. Seriously gossips…it was frickin’ weird . Especially when you consider the history, thanks to Erin B for sending it along – an excerpt from Time Magazine in 1994, an article titled The Thriving Cult of Greed and Power: “The church"s former head of security, Richard Aznaran, recalls Scientology ringleader Miscavige repeatedly joking to staffers about Travolta"s allegedly promiscuous homosexual behavior. At this point any threat to expose Travolta seems superfluous: last May a male porn star collected $100,000 from a tabloid for an account of his alleged two-year liaison with the celebrity. Travolta refuses to comment, and in December his lawyer dismissed questions about the subject as "bizarre." Two weeks later, Travolta announced that he was getting married to actress Kelly Preston, a fellow Scientologist." Chills, chills, chills… Source
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